...
"Bastard!"
Those were the words I heard coming out of the mouth of my girlfriend trapped in my arms, but instead of getting angry or pretending to be hurt, I had to admit it while resting my chin on her head.
"Yes, I really am a bastard."
She let out a little snort, perhaps from contained anger, perhaps from frustration... Or just because she didn't know how else to react to it all. She turned her body and faced me with her hands clutching my shirt, but gradually the tension in them eased.
"You make me feel like I'm everything... and at the same time... like I'm just a part of it."
Her voice was low but firm. It hurt to hear it like that, between wanting to believe and the fear of being just a replaceable part.
"Because you are everything. And that's why... I need to show you that the world I'm building has you at the center of it."
I replied like someone stepping on shards of glass with bare feet.
"Even if this world is messy, imperfect... and selfish?"
"Especially because of that."
My embrace tightened a little more.
"Because the perfect world was never something I promised. But a world where you're irreplaceable, that is."
She didn't answer. She just rested her forehead against my chest and closed her eyes for a few seconds. I felt the warmth of her breath trying to calm down, trying to align itself with mine.
Down below, the Earth was still spinning, silent, immense, alive. And up there, floating in that small space that only existed because of the spell I cast over us, and perhaps because of what still stood between us, there was a strange peace. As if the universe, for an instant, suspended its judgments to just... observe.
"You're going to hurt me again, aren't you?"
The question came as a whisper, but carried a raw truth that pierced me. I wanted to say no. I wanted to promise the impossible, to swear that I would never make her suffer again. But that would be like lying to her.
"...Maybe."
She pulled away enough to face me. There was a contained sadness in her eyes, but none of it was fully exposed.
Nayun was stronger than I could ever have imagined.
"You're an idiot... But you're my asshole."
And before I could react, she pressed her lips to mine in a slow, confused kiss, full of everything that hadn't yet been said.
When we pulled away, there was a different gleam in her eyes. It wasn't total forgiveness, it wasn't full acceptance.
It was something else...
She had chosen to stay. Even in the face of the flaws, the wounds, the uncertainty, she had chosen to stay by my side, to keep following me, not behind, but by my side.
And that in itself was more than I deserved.
"I love you Nayun."
She didn't reply to my words, which not only had a confessional meaning but also a thankfulness in them.
Nayun just lowered her eyes, biting the corner of her lip slightly as she did whenever she was fighting something inside. The silence now wasn't the same as at the beginning, it wasn't made up of distance or choked words.
"...I love you too, you idiot."
His voice came out choked, and the corner of his mouth trembled, not from weakness, but from everything he'd been holding in for so long.
"And that's why it hurts so much."
She took a step back, but didn't let go of my hand.
"Don't ask me to understand everything at once. Don't ask me to accept what still hurts. Just... give me time. Prove it to me. Show me that this love you say you feel for me is still capable of making me smile like before."
"I'll gladly show you, and it will start today."
Nayun frowned, surprised by my sudden seriousness. Her playful tone followed, but there was something in her expression that indicated a hint of fear.
"What's your real identity? Don't tell me Theo is the son of some famous hero who jumped the fence..."
I rolled my eyes at her fertile imagination, but I couldn't help the smile that formed at the corner of my lips.
"It's stopped."
I said, holding up a finger in warning, before she came up with another crazy theory.
"I'm a very well-conceived son, understand? My mother and father loved each other very much. No scandal around here."
Hearing my words, she quickly denied his rather drastic assumption.
Nayun let out a soft "Oh!" and instinctively brought one hand to her forehead.
She quickly used one of her hands to protect her forehead, afraid that I was going to punish her with a stab.
In fact, her reflex made perfect sense, I already had my hand in the air, ready to deliver the traditional punishment.
"Clever..."
I muttered, arching an eyebrow...
A slight glint of relief appeared in his eyes for a few seconds before it turned to despair.
"But you're still a beginner."
With the side of my hand, I gave her a light blow to the head, not hard, but enough to make a muffled sound and make her cringe, feigning indignation. It felt like I was cutting up a watermelon.
"Ouch! That was unnecessary!"
She complained, massaging the site of the impact, still with that look of exaggerated drama, the only thing missing was her bending down and massaging her head with her hands.
"It's the official punishment for crazy theories. I've already warned you that every time you make up these absurd fanfics, you're going to get your ass handed to you."
"Humpf!"
She snorted, but the corner of her mouth twitched, betraying the smile she was trying to hide.
"So that means you're still... Theo?"
"Yes. I am Theo. But not just the 'Theo' of now."
Without saying another word, I walked a step to her side and, with a gentle gesture, touched her shoulder, gently turning her body forward, as if I were positioning her in front of something great.
"And you'll understand soon enough."
In front of us, the air began to shimmer. A bluish-white aura pulsed in the palm of my hand, spreading into tiny threads of light that intertwined in the void. The energy accumulated for a brief moment, and then, like the blossoming of a flower made of stars, a magical screen appeared in the air. It floated before us, translucent, dancing gently.
"What is that...? Don't tell me we're going to watch some movie from up here, that's cool."
"No, you idiot. I'm using magic to transmit a part of my memory to you, memories of my past that will help you understand who I am."
I looked incredulously at the girl next to me. Sometimes I wonder if Nayun is too stupid, or if she's doing this because she wants to, maybe I should give her a stab in the forehead?
"What? Why did you walk away from me?"