I was ready to fight.
Sexis, standing beside me, had assured me he was thinking the same thing.
Turns out, the bastard was thinking about apologizing.
I mean, I've apologized plenty of times in life. Like that one time I visited a palm reader:
"Judging by your palms," he said, "I can tell that you masturbate frequently."
"Sorry," I apologized. "I should probably wipe that off."
…Anyway, that was then.
Now, I was the Hero King. I wasn't about to grovel for my life.
"Fuck apologising. We will fight." I declared.
"Yeah. Right. Fuck it. I will fight too… behind you."
"I heard that."
"Ahngh. Fine. I will fight by your side. Let death be embarrassed to take us."
"It's 'let death be proud to take us.' At least get the quote right."
"Nah. I am pretty sure it'd be embarrassed to take us."
"Speak for yourself. It'll be honored to take me."
"Like hell. You threw your comrade to save your ass."
"That's…" I paused. "…actually, you're right."
"Now we're talking."
"But let's just try to not die, alright?"
"I can agree with that."
"YOU BASTARDS!!"
A black dot appeared in the sky, rapidly growing larger.
Then—
THUMP!
Malthus landed with the subtlety of an earthquake.
Seriously, does this guy always have to show up with a dramatic thump? I can't keep saying sound effects all the time.
"How dare you mock me?! How dare you PISS on me?!"
He was fuming..
"I will kill all the Heroes and Aliens now. No one related to both of you will stay alive. I will kill your parents!" Malthus declared.
Sexis raised his hand. "I don't have any parents. So good luck with that."
Malthus jerked his head at me.
"I will kill yours then. Your lovely mommy and daddy will die by my hands!"
"Well," I shrugged. "I don't mind."
They would die one day anyway. And it's not like I don't love them, I am just following Sexis' lead.
Malthus gritted his teeth.
"Then I shall kill whom you both love the most!"
Sexis raised his hand again. "How will you find whom we love the most?"
I nodded. "Yeah. You can't kill what you don't know."
"WHY ARE YOU TWO SO FUCKING ANNOYING?!"
Malthus clenched his fists. "I have conquered forty-nine planets, but I have never encountered idiots like you two."
"Why, thank you for your kind words," Sexis said with a bow.
"I WASN'T PRAISING YOU!"
"Oh? Then your vocabulary must be weak. Otherwise, I wouldn't have mistaken a threat for a compliment."
Damn. Sexis got no chill.
If I were Malthus, I'd be throwing hands already—
BANG!
Ah. Never mind.
Malthus' fist erased Sexis from existence—well, almost. He flew backward like a ragdoll.
Malthus turned to me next.
His fist came up. I wasn't about to repeat Sexis' mistake.
The moment he swung—
FWISH!
I teleported.
I arrived far away and I also saw Sexis coming at me.
I stepped aside, grabbed the lace of his sneakers, and yanked him down before he could fly past me.
"You good?"
"Yeah." He wiped his mouth. "You were right. He won't stop until we're dead."
"You just figured that out?"
"I was hoping he would make us prisoners. But he wants our blood."
"Then are we finally thinking the same thing?"
"Yes."
Sexis extended his scythes, a white shine glinted their edges.
"We fight."
"YOU COWARDS!"
Malthus appeared. No jumping. No thumping. He just—appeared.
His speed was unreal.
But I had a plan.
"Wait a second, Malthus. Let's make things fair."
Malthus frowned. "What?"
"We're two, you're one. That's not fair."
His frown faded. "Ah. You have the spirit of a true warrior."
"Yeah. That's why…"
I used a skill and the next second…
FWISH!
All forty seven Heroes arrived behind me.
And that wasn't all.
Aliens, soldiers, commoners—hell, I even summoned some drunkards from the local bars.
Millions of people filled the battlefield.
Sexis beamed, his scythes gleaming with newfound courage.
My resolve also steeled and my glare became extra menacing towards Malthus.
Meanwhile, Malthus…
"What in the actual fuck is this?!"
"What?" I asked.
"Where is your warrior spirit?"
"Never had one."
"I thought you wanted to make it fair!"
"And I did."
"Summoning an army against one unarmed simple man is fair to you?"
"If you calling yourself a 'simple man' is fair, then fairness doesn't exist anymore."
Malthus exhaled through gritted teeth.
"Fine. Don't complain about what happens next."
"Introverts don't complain."
Malthus ignored that last comment and snapped his fingers.
FWISH!
The scene I created a few seconds ago was recreated.
Malthus did the same thing as me.
That bastard also summoned all his ten percent of the army behind him as well! That's not fai- My bad. I shouldn't say it after what I did.
Behind Malthus, now stood thousands of scary weirdos and I don't even wanna make eye contact with them.
After summoning, Malthus looked at me and grinned.
"Now we are even."
This bitch.
But never mind. I was still confident.
"Heh. You think only summoning a few people will make you win?"
"Of course not. I still haven't taken out my main thing."
"What-wait? I was kidding. Haha. You can still do good with a few people. No need for anything else."
"As if I will listen to you."
Makes sense.
But please, don't pull up any more firepower.
Malthus stretched out his right hand and I saw his lips muttering something. Probably a chant.
And I know what happens at times like this.
WHIRL!
Yep. Called it.
A crimson light danced on Malthus' right hand and the next second, a shining red thick long sword manifested out of nothing.
Everyone gulped seeing that sword.
His fingers were already enough for killing. We could only imagine what he could do with a sword like that.
The sword fully manifested on Malthus' hand as he gripped it tightly.
Then, he swung it towards me and my army, throwing a gust of wind in our direction.
The dramatic effect made my hair waver in the wind. It would've looked cool. If it wasn't my pubic hair.
After that swing, Malthus showed me his evil grin again and pointed the tip of his sword at me and Sexis.
"Now, kings... Let's start this shit."
…He didn't have to say it.
My shit was already in motion