In this room, not a single person was a seasoned expert in romance. They were all hopeless amateurs, barely holding onto their theoretical knowledge, if they had any.
And yet, when it came to offering advice to their friends, they suddenly transformed into self-proclaimed relationship gurus.
"Moments like these should involve something special," Tsubasa Tanuma suggested enthusiastically. "For instance, a normally composed girl might suddenly jump into your arms for comfort after getting scared. Or maybe she's so terrified of ghosts that she keeps her eyes shut the whole time, clutching your sleeve or arm, leaning on you the entire way…"
His vivid examples painted quite the romantic picture, though they were undoubtedly exaggerated.
"At the very least, there should be some kind of romantic atmosphere, right? Otherwise, how is it any different from a regular outing?" Tanuma concluded, his argument both exaggerated and oddly reasonable.
"Not that it has to be exactly like that," Hachiman Hikigaya added reluctantly, despite his usual apathy. "It could just be… small moments that bring you closer. Like… I don't know, accidentally holding hands because of some unexpected incident, and then realizing it too late to let go… Stuff like that can set the tone."
Kanade, who had been enjoying the gossip, suddenly froze.
"Wait, hold on!" he interjected, raising his hand. "You're telling me holding hands wasn't required in the venue? You didn't have to hold hands the whole time?"
"Huh? Of course not! What do you think we are, elementary schoolers? Why would anyone hold hands out of fear?" Hachiman retorted, sounding as if he had just been gravely insulted. "Don't lump us in with you!"
"…"
Kanade was momentarily speechless, not from Hachiman's jab, but because of a deeper realization—if hand-holding wasn't mandatory, why had Kaguya insisted on it? What was her intention?
Seeing Kanade's stunned expression, Hachiman took it as a victory and didn't press further.
"Ah, I see now," Miyuki Shirogane said, looking contemplative as he processed the advice. "So, if I want my dates to go more smoothly, I just need to create some unexpected moments to make things less dull?"
"That's… not entirely wrong?" Hachiman hesitated, uncertain whether to support or criticize the idea.
"Sorry, I might not have explained it clearly," Shirogane clarified. "But yes, that's more or less what I've learned. Thanks, everyone, for your help!"
To show his gratitude, he even stood and gave a polite bow.
"Ah, it's nothing…" Hachiman muttered, scratching his head awkwardly.
"No problem, Shirogane. We're friends, after all," Tanuma chimed in reassuringly.
"…"
Kanade, meanwhile, was still recovering from the earlier revelation. After a moment, he snapped out of his daze and awkwardly waved a hand. "Oh, good to hear you've figured it out. So… let's move on to the next person."
Suppressing his growing curiosity about Kaguya's behavior, Kanade resolved to investigate later. For now, he refocused on the room's lively atmosphere.
"My turn, huh?" Tanuma jumped in eagerly. "Alright, I'll share, but I'm not sure if you'd call this progress or not…"
"Don't worry about it! Just share the parts that feel like progress. Bonus points if you include details!" the others encouraged him.
Given the dramatic twists in Tanuma's previous stories, he was the most anticipated storyteller of the group—aside from Kanade himself. None of them wanted to miss a second.
"Alright, let's start from before the partner selection," Tanuma began. "So, with your help, I started wondering if any of the girls in our class secretly liked me."
"And?" Hachiman asked, already predicting a typical normie success story.
"So, I decided to test the waters. A few days before the test of courage, I started hanging around their little group and dropping hints, like: 'Man, I really don't want a random partner. It'd be so much better to go with a cute girl!' I figured if someone was interested, they'd take the bait."
"And did anyone invite you?" Hachiman asked, bracing for the inevitable blow.
"Nope. No one paid me any attention," Tanuma admitted with a shrug.
Hachiman's inner monologue: Sorry, I misjudged you. My deepest apologies.
Noticing Hachiman's sudden downcast demeanor, Tanuma tilted his head in confusion. "Something wrong?"
"It's nothing. Keep going," Kanade said casually, quickly catching on to Hachiman's thought process.
"Alright then," Tanuma continued. "So, no girls approached me, but a guy from my class did. He was supposed to be my partner for the event, but he wanted to volunteer with his girlfriend instead. Since we were friends and our student numbers matched, he asked if I could manage without him."
"…"
"Left without a partner, I wasn't too worried because the student council would assign someone. But apparently, the girls in that group found out about it. One of them came up to me and said, 'Since you don't have a partner, why not join us? You can clear the way for us and carry our stuff. It'll make things easier for everyone.'"
"And you said yes," Kanade said flatly.
"Of course! It's exactly what I wanted from the start!" Tanuma beamed.
"…"
The group collectively fell silent, processing the absurdity of the situation.
That actually worked?!