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Jiraiya ignored Naruto and continued, "A man like Jiraiya will never be seduced by women! Instead, I excel at deceiving women with smooth words..."
"Tch, scumbag!" Naruto scoffed disdainfully.
Jiraiya's veins bulged, and he continued, "I will not be swayed by a woman's beauty! Because a man like me... women come knocking at my door on their own!"
"Shameless! Didn't they just throw you out of the bathhouse this time? Be honest, you know no woman would willingly come to you. That's why you resorted to peeping at the illusion girls inside, you damn pervert! Hah, tui!" Naruto spat in disgust.
Jiraiya snapped, "Baka yarou! Weren't you the one gawking at those illusion girls, trying to sneak in? You're only 13, and yet you've got a gorgeous girl waiting for you at home! But no, the moment you heard there were beautiful women being 'interviewed' here, you rushed over! And you have the nerve to call me a scumbag? Hah! Ho peh peh peh!"
The two of them bickered back and forth like a pair of complete idiots.
Kisame's face twitched with irritation, and Itachi's expression darkened. He had no particular feelings for Izumi, but hearing that the girl who once chased him was now living in Naruto's house made him feel like he was suddenly wearing a massive metaphorical hat of shame.
"Enough!" Kisame growled, raising Samehada and preparing to strike.
"Shut up!" Jiraiya and Naruto yelled in unison before both casually slammed a Rasengan into Kisame's gut. The poor shark-man was sent flying, embedding himself into the hotel wall like a decorative painting. Itachi stood off to the side, rubbing his temples in frustration.
"Now then..." Itachi began, but Jiraiya cut him off.
"Ninja Art: Toad Mouth Bind!" The hotel walls suddenly turned fleshy, shifting into the living esophagus of the giant toad from Mount Myōboku. The organic walls closed in to trap Itachi and Kisame inside.
"Kisame, over here!" Itachi commanded, dodging the writhing walls.
"Mangekyō Sharingan—Amaterasu!" A burst of black flames erupted from Itachi's eyes, instantly burning a massive hole in the toad's fleshy walls.
"Impossible!" Jiraiya muttered in shock. "He burned through the esophagus of a giant toad?"
Seeing the black flames, Jiraiya quickly pulled out a scroll. "Sealing Jutsu: Fire Sealing Method!" With practiced efficiency, he sealed Amaterasu inside the parchment.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "And this is supposed to be the strongest Fire Style jutsu? Can't even burn anyone properly, huh? All it takes is a sealing scroll to deal with it—what a joke."
Just then, a kunai came flying from outside. Jiraiya and Naruto turned their heads, only to hear a loud roar from behind.
"Dynamic Entry!"
With a single powerful kick, Jiraiya was sent flying, landing flat on his back in an undignified heap.
Might Guy blinked at the fallen Sannin, looking utterly confused.
"You absolute moron!" Jiraiya snarled, stuffing tissues into his nose to stop the bleeding. His entire face was twitching in fury. "Why the hell did you kick me?!"
"Ah, my apologies! I was in such a rush that I forgot to bring a mirror with me! Ahaha!" Guy laughed, scratching the back of his head.
Jiraiya sighed, rubbing his temples. "Forget it. Just take Sasuke back to Konoha for treatment. He got hit with Itachi's Tsukuyomi, so he's probably mentally broken right now."
Naruto glanced at Sasuke, shaking his head. "Damn shame. You've got all this talent, and yet your brother's out here farming experience points just to get you to awaken the Mangekyō."
"If only a medic-nin were here..." Guy sighed.
"That's who we're going to find next," Jiraiya said, looking thoughtful.
Meanwhile, the very person they were searching for was busy carrying a box full of money, followed by a pig.
"Yahoo! I'm finally back on top! Not only did I pay off my debts, but I actually won some cash!" Tsunade cheered triumphantly.
Shizune stood frozen, utterly dumbfounded.
The next day, Guy carried Sasuke on his back, preparing to head back to Konoha for treatment.
"Jiraiya-sama, please bring Tsunade-sama back," Guy requested. Then he turned to Naruto, flashing a blinding smile. "Naruto! I admire your perseverance! Come, let me give you one of my prized possessions—Lee's Variable Expansion Training Suit!"
Naruto's entire face went stiff. A bad feeling crept up his spine.
"Lee's tights!" Guy continued, his teeth sparkling. "Exceptional breathability! Supreme moisture retention! Designed for peak flexibility while maintaining the most youthful aesthetics! Put it on, and you'll be addicted!"
Naruto: "..."
In the end, Naruto reluctantly accepted the hideous green jumpsuit, making a mental note to trick Sasuke into wearing it one day just for the laughs.
Meanwhile, in a bustling town...
"Yosh! This is it!" Tsunade grinned as she arrived before a massive casino.
"W-What?!" Shizune stammered. "Tsunade-sama, the entire town is filled with casinos!"
Ignoring her, Tsunade strode confidently inside and slammed her box of money onto the counter. "Exchange all of this for chips!"
The entire casino fell silent. Every man present turned to look at her in shock.
"Who is she?" one gambler whispered.
"You don't know?" another whispered back in disbelief. "She's the legend herself!"
"The Legendary... Sucker!"
"Alright! We've made it to town!" Naruto said excitedly. "Finally, time to relax!"
Jiraiya sighed. "So you're not even going to train?"
"Training? What's that? Can you eat it?" Naruto scoffed. "Training is impossible. Not now, not ever!"
He pulled out a thick wad of ryo from his backpack, waving it in front of Jiraiya. "With money, you can do whatever you want!"
Jiraiya's eyes lit up. "Ohohoho! In that case, boss, drinks are on us!"
"Transformation Jutsu!" With a puff of smoke, Naruto transformed into Minato Namikaze. "Now, let's go save a poor damsel in distress!"
"Oi, Naruto, do you know about the Three Ninja Taboos?" Jiraiya asked.
"Not my problem," Naruto replied dismissively.
"The three things that destroy a ninja are alcohol, women, and money!" Jiraiya said seriously. "A true shinobi avoids them!"
Naruto gave him a deadpan stare. "Jiraiya-sama... you're literally a walking contradiction."
"Ahem." Jiraiya coughed awkwardly.
Naruto grinned, waving his stack of cash. "Now shut up and follow me!"
Elsewhere, Orochimaru sliced down another failed experiment, his voice dripping with irritation.
Kabuto leaned against the door, smirking. "We've found her. She's in a place called Bamboo Street."
Orochimaru's snake-like eyes gleamed. "Bamboo Street, huh...?"
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