Clara's nails tapped against the surface with a contemplative rhythm, echoing through the room like an impatient metronome waiting for the beat to drop. Elis's hand on my shoulder burned with pressure, holding me down with such force I could barely breathe. I stared at the projection screen as the pixels slowly flickered to life. One staff member fumbled with the remote, while another nervously tinkered around the projector. Meanwhile, Elis leaned forward in her chair like a child waiting for their birthday gift, eyes glittering darkly, her lips curled into an excited smile.
— I think I could use a glass of water — I tried, attempting to stand up.
In response, Elis pressed down even harder.
— No! You're not sneaking out this time. You're going to watch this damn flash drive.
— As the current ruler, darling — Clara said in a soft voice that hid a razor-sharp will — you really ought to know a thing or two about the angelic governance system, about the archangels, and how the worlds function.
— More precisely — Elis cut in, cynically but with a strange kind of sweetness — we're trying to beat some sense into you—since clearly you couldn't manage that on your own.
— But you've already taught me so much… — I tried to argue.
— But not enough — Clara snapped. — You still know far too little about the ruling family. And the higher beings.
— You never told me. See? Not my fault — I blurted out with a feeble attempt at defiance.
— We didn't — came a muffled laugh — because we didn't know you were going to be the Almighty around here.
— Haha. Hilarious — I said, giving her a look.
Clara made an elegant gesture.
— Girls. Quiet. The recording is starting.
The screen lit up first with flashes of light, then shapes began to take form. Clara stepped beside the projector and switched to her presenter's tone.
— These are the archangels. There are seven in total, each embodying a different aspect, and they represent the highest levels of the angelic realm.
— First, Michael, the Flame of Truth, Commander of Hosts. He brings judgment upon the worlds and is the greatest warrior.
— Gabrielle, the Bearer of Visions — the voice of prophecy, the one who conveys divine messages.
— Raphael, the Light of Healing — he brings salvation and recovery, both physical and spiritual.
— Uriel, the Fire of Knowledge — guardian of libraries, bearer of divine wisdom.
— Raguel, the Keeper of Order — protector of harmony and justice, the upholder of divine balance.
— Saraqael, the Path of Souls — the guide who leads souls across the thresholds of life and death.
— And finally, Zadkiel, the Angel of Mercy — who carries the power of forgiveness, even when the world doesn't deserve it.
— Each is bound to a world of their own, but they all stand above mortal laws. They do not simply rule — they maintain balance within the higher dimensions — Clara's voice swelled with reverence.
— The foundation of angelic governance is not ambition — she continued — but purpose: to preserve divine order across the worlds. Every ruler born into this system must first learn how to serve — and only then, how to rule.
She smiled faintly then, glancing sideways at me.
— Now comes your favorite part — she said with a hint of mischief. — Take a look.
A woman appeared on screen — surrounded by a dark, flickering aura, with a piercing, cold stare.
— This is Dahlia. A Being of Truth. Not an archangel, but a high-ranking entity. She was once the archangels' aunt, and even now, she's treated as such. Though not part of their circle, her power rivals theirs. She lives by the principle of truth and knows no mercy.
— A scratch on Heaven's map — Elis added mockingly, earning a stern look from her mother.
— We don't speak like that about any of our kind — Clara said sharply. — Dahlia has her own kind of charm. Even if you sometimes have to dig for it.
— She's Lydia's sister — she continued. — Lydia is the Angel of Love, the heart of the heavenly realm. Everything that is light, warmth, and understanding flows from her.
She paused for a moment, as though the weight of memory had settled on her words. Lydia's image appeared on the screen, and it felt as if light itself bowed before her.
— Everything that is Heaven — Clara whispered, as Lydia's form bloomed entirely from light — can be found within her.
— So now I finally get it — Elis spoke up again, the sharp edge in her tone as familiar as ever. — Why only hell ever found its way into Lydia's heart.
Clara's gaze snapped toward her like lightning — the kind of look that could make even the painted angels on the ceiling lower their eyes.
After that, the girl — Elis — lowered her head and stayed silent. Perhaps, for the first time, she was truly reflecting on the words. Or maybe she just didn't want to look at her mother again.
But I couldn't restrain myself. Too many questions were swirling inside me.
I looked at Clara — openly, honestly, with curiosity.
— If the archangels possess such power, and each one is so… exceptional — I began cautiously — then why is Uriel the chosen ruler?
I didn't wait long after voicing the question. The words just poured out of me.
— And why is it that even though he's not here now, and Gabriel rules in his place, everyone knows with absolute certainty that he'll return? As if the position belongs to him alone. As if no one else could ever be considered.
Clara's lips started to move, but I cut in.
— And I also don't understand why, if according to the Bible Michael is the chief archangel, he isn't the ruler. And why is he living here, among humans, in this mansion? Why isn't he with the other archangels, in their own dimension?
I fell silent. Then came the final question, the one that rose up from deep within. The most important one.
— Uriel… what makes him so special?
That's when Clara finally spoke. Her voice wasn't scolding or dismissive. It was more like that of a storyteller tasting the edges of a memory — gentle, yet serious.
— Michael is the angel of angels. The fact that he lives among humans — that was his choice. He wasn't exiled. He chose to remain among them. Just as Dahlia and Lydia protect the fallen, Michael leans toward humankind, because he knows how fragile they are. And how precious.
Clara looked around slowly.
— This city is full of fallen angels. Ones who have not yet been allowed to return to Heaven… even though they deserve to. The archangels' dimension is distant — but still near. The world they live in moves to a different rhythm, but even from there, they watch. They protect.
— Then why aren't they all here? — I asked softly.
— Because if they were all here — Clara replied — the balance above would falter. To maintain the order of the heavens, they must remain there. But for balance to be kept in the earthly dimensions too, there has to be someone to mediate. Someone who crosses the boundaries. Someone who understands both worlds.
Clara paused, then closed her eyes, as if the next name could only be spoken in a whisper.
— Uriel is that. A little good. A little bad. Or maybe… whole.
I shivered. The canvas was still dark. But even its shadows seemed to be listening.
— By "bad" I don't mean evil — she added. — I mean that he knows Hell. He knows what it is to fall. Not just from the outside — he's walked through some of its gates.
Her voice grew quiet. Yet all of us were focused on her.
— Uriel is also the Guardian of Hell. An ally of Lucifer. Not a friend, not an enemy — a man of accord. He was the one who made Lucifer accept that even Hell must have order. That there are souls who don't belong there, and yet still end up there. He watches over them, so they aren't lost. Just as he watches over those who've been there far too long.
My breath caught in my throat.
— He… watches over everything — Clara said at last. — Everything and everyone. Even if he doesn't act when or how others would find logical. He holds together worlds that no other angel could even touch — and he's done so unwaveringly since the beginning of existence.
My fingers tapped soundlessly against the carved post of the bed. A small movement, barely audible, yet it sounded like the end of a lingering thought. Months had passed. Clara's words, spoken weeks ago about the ruler, still echoed inside me. But it was his scent that surfaced more vividly in my memory.
These things circled my existence as my thoughts drifted inward—until Elis's voice tore through the silence, just as she entered my room again, like every morning.
– We moved here – she said, softly, but her words struck the air like a sharp wind – so we could be by your side. So you wouldn't feel alone. But you talk more to the doorframe these days than to us. And I'm sure, even now, all you can think about is being a hero, rescuing your friends from beyond the fog.
She paced the room like a desperate advisor who had run out of strategies. Eventually, she stopped.
– And what if Chloé isn't even there anymore? What if she's no longer alive?
– Elis – I looked at her, my voice barely more than a whisper. – You have to understand… doing nothing, that's not who I am. Ever since I've been here, I've been walking around in gowns more beautiful and fine than I've ever imagined, like some porcelain doll in a shop window. Sure, I'm learning. Angelic laws, selfless love, gratitude, forgiveness – all lovely, wonderful, uplifting things. But they're not my world. – I took a deep breath. – I need to fight. I need to do something. I can't sit and wait for miracles. In my world, miracles are fought for, not waited on. I know silence can be stronger than the sword. I know what Lydia and the others are doing is worthy of admiration. But me… I'm different.
Elis stopped. For a moment, her eyes bore into mine, as if she were reading the insides of my soul.
– I know – she said with a tired smile. – You've always been a bit clumsy… but you always needed to be doing something. Either saving someone or getting into trouble. Sitting still? That's not you. But this is different now. You're no longer part of the shadow-dressed fighters. And you definitely can't just go off on a solo mission just because you feel like you have to do something again. This isn't just about you anymore, Avarka.
– Elis…
– No, let me finish. They still haven't accepted that you're here. That you're Gabriel's wife through the Twin Flame marriage. The old shadows still stir. And you… you just keep tightening the strings. And you know what happens when a string gets too tight? It snaps. I think it would be better if, just this once, you were simply… grateful. And stayed put. Because you've already brought change to this city. The kind no one else could have. – She took a deep breath as well. – You know philosophy isn't really my thing – she tried to return to her usual tone, but her sea-blue eyes were far too serious now.
– And you know I don't even like lecturing people. But I love you, Avarka. Like a sister. I see it, and I know this marriage… it wasn't the best decision. You two aren't happy. But it was the only path. And still, even so, together you've done amazing things. If you weren't meant for each other, none of it would've happened.
I listened silently, then spoke in a quieter but resolute tone:
– Elis… there are things you don't know. I feel something. Here, inside – I placed a hand over my heart. – I want to find Chloé and Zack. But there's something beyond the fog. Something I need to know. Someone I have to bring back. And I need to know if it's really him in my dreams. If Uriel is truly the one calling to me. Maybe it's just an illusion, and he could return anytime if he wanted. But even so, I need to know why he affects me like this. Why my heart still burns for him. I feel like there's a black sphere in my past, a huge, dark sphere, and I have to shatter it to let the darkness out.
– Hey, hey, hey… hold on a second! – Elis raised her arms. – What kind of dream? What Uriel? Our ruler Uriel? You only just learned about him, remember?
– I know. And I've spoken to him… multiple times, since he left. But he hasn't appeared to me for a while now. This helped – I pulled the monogrammed handkerchief from my pocket.
– Oh, great. So now we're at the point where the ruler is courting you, while you're officially married to another archangel? This is better than a soap opera! – she jumped off the bed. – My apologies, I wouldn't have scolded you if I'd known you were already living in Desperate Housewives!
– That was truly reproachful – I looked at her, a bit hurt.
– Of course it was! Do you even know what a Twin Flame marriage means? This isn't it! – she shouted, pointing at me angrily. I'd never seen her so upset. Proof of how quickly life can turn tense. Elis lives by her own set of laws, and for her, angelic marriage is rare and sacred. So her reaction was understandable.
We stared at each other in silence, the room vibrating with emotion. Then she was the one who broke it.
– Look… let's try something. Together. Let's try… to summon him. If you can. The ruler.
I looked at her silently, with a faint smile. Wordlessly, I lay back on the bed. Elis sat down beside me. Silence. Only our breathing could be heard. Then she turned into an impatient alarm clock.
– Well? Did it work? – she asked softly.
– Excuse me, but if you keep going like that, I won't even be able to summon a flower, let alone a whole meadow – I muttered, eyes closed.
– All right, all right, Sleeping Beauty. I'm just curious. Are you sure that thing… the handkerchief is the key?
– Yes. I'm holding it tightly.
– Then… hold it even tighter – she whispered like an encouragement.
– Elis… you still don't believe I'm communicating with the ruler, do you?
– You know I stand by you in everything… my dear friend. But this is a different category. Surreal. Even more surreal than your marriage. This… this is…
Her voice trailed off. – Hello? Avaaar… hellooo… – I felt her summon little breezes, fluttering them in front of my face as if trying to pull my focus back. But I was no longer there. I had disconnected.
Yet I didn't arrive where I wanted to.
Instead of the flower-filled meadow, I stood by a freezing lake. There was no reflection on the water's surface. The trees stood motionless. The silence was more chilling than any scream.
And the footsteps approaching were firm. The face that met mine was more striking than anything I had imagined. The slap of recognition hit hard.
I was staring at myself.
Seeing myself from the outside… it was a startling feeling. The color of my eyes, the fall of my hair, the contours of my face – everything was exactly as I knew it. And yet… not quite. Something was off. Because while the body was mine, the gaze… gave it away. It was different. More confident than mine. More resolute. More purposeful. Someone I always wanted to become – or perhaps once already was.
– I understand why you chose humanity – she spoke, my other self. Her voice was clear, and strangely enough, it didn't frighten me. It calmed me. – Truthfully, it's what I wanted. Or rather… what you wanted.
She pointed at me. Not with hesitation, but with full conviction.
– I am you. Just from another plane. From a life you've already lived. I'm a fragment of your soul, returning to you now… after I've said what I must.
– So this dream… I'm causing it myself? – I asked. I looked at her as if she might vanish any moment, leaving only my questions behind.
– You could say that – she nodded. – Against your will, you triggered a form of soul migration. You're seeing into your past lives. Your soul remembers. The gate doesn't only reside in stones and places—it's within you. Sure, there are magical objects that amplify will, but true power… that's already inside. Most things you've accomplished, and those you will yet achieve, stem from one single desire: to know. To feel.
I listened in silence. I drank in every word, because deep down, I felt she was telling the truth. My soul whispered with her.
– You've done so much. Thousands of good and bad things. We don't always understand why we choose human life again and again, but when we're here… we always remember.
She began to walk toward me. Her movements were so natural, it was as if the barrier that once divided us had never existed.
– It's no coincidence that the highest beings—archangels, higher spirits, divine entities—are what they are now – her voice softened – …they all walked long, pain-filled paths. Because the soul hungers. For feeling. For pain and joy alike. And still, we receive more suffering than we ever asked for… and yet we endure.
I trembled. It was as if something had begun to stir deep within.
– Please… don't speak in riddles like this – I looked at her, desperate. – I want to understand. Finally. Truly.
– You've always wanted to – she said gently. – But when the moment comes, you always turn away. That's the human mind. It gets what it was searching for… and doesn't know what to do with it.
And I… I just stared at her. Helpless.
– You've longed for many lives. Many roles. A queen, a beggar, a lover, a murderer. But no feeling ever settled in you fully. That's why you couldn't fulfill that purpose… the great, true purpose you came for. In the end, you always became just another pebble in the ocean. Adrift.
I didn't breathe.
– You've always sought meaning. Reasons. The whys. But when you didn't find answers, you convinced yourself there had to be one. Even though there isn't always. And if there is… it's one you created yourself.
What she said hurt. And still… it was true. Somewhere deep inside.
– If something breaks in life, and it wasn't your fault, that's fate. But if you break something… then it's your words, your actions, your reactions that are to blame. Every decision… paints the soul. If you stain white paper black, one attempt isn't enough to make it white again. You can layer the good… but the soul still remembers.
I think that's when I finally understood what she meant.
– Are you speaking to me now? Or… to my consciousness?
– You are your consciousness. It doesn't need memories to exist. The soul knows where it's been. It knows where it is now. Look at yourself in this life. It's heading for chaos. Not because you're special, or because you're connected to higher beings. But because you're walking into the same trap again. A marriage you don't need. A tangle you can't untie.
Her voice quieted. And I knew… what she was saying now was more than a warning.
– You've set off an avalanche for yourself. You can't stop it. But you can still choose how you survive it. The rest… the Pillar will tell you.
– Wait… – I pleaded. – Please, don't go yet.
But she had already begun to fade. Her silhouette dissolved into mist, her voice drifted away like a memory scattered by the wind.
And I just stood there. Empty. Alone. But somehow… more than before.
Something had changed. I felt it.
Now I knew.
My soul was far more than I'd ever believed. And I'd made far more mistakes than I'd ever dared admit.
A thousand lives. A thousand restarts.
And now… this one.
Maybe the last chance to not just survive… but to arrive.
I awoke. The cool breath of the dream still lingered on my face, like a dewdrop on a razor's edge.
The other me was gone, but her presence, what she said… it remained. Her dissolving face hovered like a memory in the void for a while longer, and a strange calm settled over me.
Elis wasn't in the room.
That's okay, I thought. If things turned out this way, if I know this much—or at least sense it—then I won't drift anymore. I'll strike. I'll ride the waves, and let them carry me where I need to go.
These past months, I haven't been myself. I wasn't living. Just drifting.
I got moving.
Between the plain, orderly walls of the academy, the lieutenants greeted me with respectful nods, as if they already knew something.
— Where is Gabriel? — I asked. They answered readily.
The general, they said, was still at the border. He hadn't returned since morning.
By the time the convoy left with me, it was already getting dark.
The last rays of the sun scattered at the edge of the mist like a dissolving memory.
In the border zone, the work still continued.
People leaned over tents, weapons glinted under the evening lamps, commands cracked through the air.
But beyond that, past the edge… a nearly empty expanse stretched to the horizon.
That's where he stood.
Gabriel.
His black combat suit blended into the deepening hues of dusk, but his presence stood out even from afar.
He was like a quiet storm: calm in appearance, but wrapped in an unshakable force.
His gaze, when he noticed me, was cool – not dismissive, just distant. Like someone who had seen too much… and now only watched.
I walked toward him like a confused, lost little dog.
– It's been a while since we spoke – I said when I reached him. My voice was soft, but held everything I hadn't said.
– Yes – he replied simply. His voice was deep, straight as a blade. – But you always stayed silent when I would've spoken.
I didn't answer right away.
The wind brushed across my face, and I just looked at him.
His armor tensed at the shoulder as he moved.
He looked as though war itself had been engraved into him.
But now, there was no anger in him.
He just watched.
Me.
– How are you? – I asked at last. It seemed like a foolish question, yet… it mattered.
– Not bad – he shrugged, then looked to the side, as if he wanted to show me something. – See that part at the edge of the mist? That's where you first entered. It's part of the first boundary.
He fell silent. I thought that would be it. But then he looked back at me.
– I don't mind that sometimes… you fall into the dreams of the ruler. Or anyone else's. Just… if something happens, tell me. Don't keep it to yourself. I want to know if you're setting out, if you're breaking down, if… anything. I want to know if your soul trembles.
My heart shivered. He didn't say he was worried. He didn't say he loved me. But it was all there. Everything that hurt… that I couldn't return it.
– You think I didn't want to be a wife – I said softly, like I was confessing something to myself – but when I became one, I didn't regret it. It's just… later I understood it wasn't right. There was a time when all I cared about was the fight. Or the change. But you… you were different. With you, I didn't want to endure life. I wanted to live it. You don't deserve this.
I didn't know what else to say. I just looked at him, and my heart buzzed and recoiled at the same time. Something began to melt inside me, slowly, like frost in spring. Our hands didn't touch, but the space between us was no longer foreign.
– What's it like, when someone… feels they're in the right place? – I asked quietly.
– Like I do now – he said, and for the first time, I saw a faint, barely noticeable smile at the corner of his eyes.
The stream echoed in the distance, its deep rumble brushing the edge of the mist. For a moment, I forgot where I was, what I wanted. I just stood beside him and looked at the boundary.
– Even if you don't remember – he said suddenly – there was a life we had, where the world lay in ruins. And still, every morning, you planted flowers in the midst of the destruction.
– That was me too?
– It was always you – he nodded. – The one who keeps building, even when everyone else is only destroying.
Silence followed. No more words were needed.
We stood at the edge of the mist. Behind us, the camp; before us, the unknown. And something inside me shifted.
Maybe, for the first time, I didn't want to be anywhere else.
Maybe… I wanted to be next to Gabriel. Not in theory. Not in a dream. But here. Now.
Or maybe I'd once again let myself be swept away by emotion and was too afraid to make a change? To end a clear mistake?
I don't know.
I only know that the man I once knew as cold and stern always slipped a little care, a little joy into my presence here.
And no matter how much of a drowning failure stood between us—or rather, nothing at all—he was still the one who cared. Who protected me.
Our lips struck like lightning.
Was it hormones or some tiny, previously unknown desire that drove us up into the border guard building, straight into a room? I don't know.
Only that we were unstoppable. Tangled into each other.
I didn't want to see, hear, or speak—just to kiss and be kissed.
Though the protective gear wasn't made for seduction, he tore it from me with ease, like a hunter finally reaching his prey.
My body moved on its own, ahead of every thought, craving contact, unity.
The only thing I forgot was that when I want to be in control—and even think I am—that's exactly when an uninvited guest appears to prove me wrong.
One moment I existed in Gabriel's embrace, between his lips—
The next, sunlight burned my eyes, as if to tell me: this is your reality now.
I didn't need to think about what had happened—the scent of flowers, the brush of grass gave it away quickly.
I sprang up, startled, instinctively covering myself to keep my clothes in place—
But that's when I realized: there wasn't even a tear in them.
– This is your astral body! Those clothes haven't been ripped off yet. – I heard a firm, cold voice.
– You have no right! – I snapped at the man, storming toward him in fury, not caring about the consequences.
With a single, fluid move, he pinned me down into the grass, then lay beside me.
He looked deep into my eyes, and that tingling sensation returned—
Not just in my body, but in my heart too.
But what he said next surprised me even more.
A surprise—especially coming from him.
Finally, I felt a sense of action, of determination.
– I'll help you get your friend out…