I had been rotting in bed for days—no, for a week, I guess.
The world outside moved on, but I remained trapped within the walls of my own grief.
The entire school had figured out what happened, or at least their version of it.
They knew I had lost a baby. What they didn't know—what they could never know—was that the father of my child was my brother.
At least, they didn't know that part yet.
I had missed the court trial.
Dom had been sending me bouquets—
"Get well soon" written in pretty, cute little notes.
Dan had been avoiding me. He was furious, not because of the loss, but because I hadn't told him I was pregnant with his child. The weight of his silence was suffocating.
How could I have told him of something I didn't know of
Selena had been visiting. She didn't say much, but her presence lingered like a quiet promise that she wouldn't leave.
I hadn't gone to see my therapist.
Dad, Mom, and Mrs. May had been checking in on me constantly, their voices filled with gentle insistence.
"You need to get out," they'd say. "The world doesn't stop."
But how was I supposed to face the whole school?
I pressed a pillow against my face and let out a muffled scream.
I had promised Mom I would step out today, at least for a little while. She had been pushing for it, reminding me over and over that isolation wouldn't fix anything.
But the thought of stepping foot into that school, of seeing their eyes filled with pity or curiosity—or worse, judgment—made my stomach churn.
I was sure Sabrina and her clique had spread the news already. Gossip like this didn't stay contained.
I glanced at my phone, scrolling through the messages I had sent to Dan.
Still no response. No call. Nothing.
I needed us to talk. I had just lost our baby.
My fingers hovered over Dom's messages. He had been checking in too, offering to take me somewhere, somewhere nice.
A distraction.
He'd been sending me funny reels, the kind that might have made me laugh,
Selena had done the same.
But I wasn't ready to see either of them right this moment.
I had a feeling—
a thought—that wouldn't leave me alone. A weight pressing against my ribs.
And I needed to let it out.
Saint wasn't around to drive me. She was out with Dad, I assumed. So I ordered a ride.
I caught my reflection in the mirror as I waited. My eyes were red, swollen, haunted. I barely recognized myself. My body felt foreign, empty in a way I couldn't explain.
And the only,
One person who mattered most to me was avoiding me.
I sighed, pulling my hair into a messy bun and slipping on dark shades. A flimsy shield against a world that felt too sharp.
As I reached the bottom of the stairs, Mrs. May's voice startled me.
"Helen?" She looked at me in surprise. She hadn't seen me leave my room in days.
"I'll be back soon," I muttered, brushing past her before she could ask where I was going.
I stepped into the Uber, keeping my eyes on the world outside as we drove through the city.
When the car pulled up to the "Mind is Wealth" center, I hesitated for a moment before stepping out.
Inside, the receptionist greeted me with a polite smile.
"Dr. Dave is available at the moment."
I nodded and walked into his office.
Dr. Dave smiled as he saw me. "It's been a while, Helen."
I studied him, my body tense.
"Didn't my parents say anything?"
He sighed, shaking his head. "This—" he gestured between us, "—is between you and me, most especially it's about you and Not them."
I watched him, still unconvinced.
"So is that a yes or a no?" I asked bluntly.
"What do you think?" He crossed his legs, waiting.
I grabbed a bottled water from the fridge, gulping it down, and then, before I could second-guess myself, I said it.
"I was pregnant."
Dr. Dave's expression barely shifted, but I could tell he was processing my words carefully, trying to measure his response.
"That sounds like a lot," he said finally.
A wave of frustration bubbled up in me. "Why do you always do that?" I snapped. "Why do you give me these robotic responses?"
His lips twitched like he was holding back a laugh. "Helen, I'm trying to understand. I recall you once saying I couldn't relate to you, so I'm making sure I don't assume anything."
I barely registered his response before I dropped another bomb.
"And it was for my boyfriend," I said. Then, almost immediately, I corrected myself. "I mean—my brother."
Dr. Dave nodded slowly, letting the words settle between us.
"That's a lot to process," he said. "Are you okay, though? Or do you want to talk more about it?"
I exhaled deeply.
"My brother—the boyfriend—he's been avoiding me ever since I told him. My best friend and Dom haven't brought it up. And I don't know who else to talk to about this."
Dr. Dave nodded, his voice steady.
"Let's talk about Dan. Tell me about him. How does he treat you?"
"I love him," I said immediately. "And I know he loves me too. This is just… a lot. For both of us."
Dr. Dave studied me.
"Helen, I know this is overwhelming. But how does Dan treat you? How do you know he loves you?"
I went silent.
"He does," I said after a while, my voice softer. "I know he does."
But even as I said it, I felt the need to convince myself.
"When I call, he comes around," I continued. "He's always tried to protect me. Ever since… everything."
Dr. Dave tilted his head.
"What do you mean by 'everything'? What are you talking about?"
I hesitated. "I don't think I can speak on this."
"Helen," Dr. Dave said gently. "Whatever is said in this room stays in this room."
I stared at him, my hands clenched into fists.
Then, before I could stop myself, I said it.
"Dan has known for a while that he was kidnapped. And he knows he's my brother. And before you judge him—"
I rushed to add, "—he just didn't want to lose me. I mean, lose what we had."
Dr. Dave watched me carefully.
"Why did you think I'd judge him?" he asked. "That thought never even crossed my mind. Are you projecting that onto me?"
My brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you think I'd judge him? Or are you already doing that yourself?"
His words settled like stones in my chest.
And for the first time, I didn't have an answer.
I begin slowly, carefully choosing my words.
"Maybe I did judge him then… maybe not,"
I say, my voice uncertain, as if I'm trying to convince myself rather than him.
Dr. Dave doesn't respond right away, just watches me with that steady gaze of his, waiting. His silence is unsettling, forcing me to sit with my own words.
I shift in my seat.
"Yeah… sometimes, I ask myself why he didn't tell me. Why did he keep it from me?" I admit, staring at my hands.
"Did you come up with an answer?" Dr. Dave asks, his voice calm, measured.
"Maybe he didn't want to break us up," I say, almost like an excuse, but deep down, I know it's the truth.
Dr. Dave exhales, his sigh carrying a weight I can't quite place.
"And why do you think he hasn't returned your calls since you told him about the baby?"
I look away, shrugging. "I don't know… maybe he's still processing it. It's a lot."
Dr. Dave leans forward slightly, his eyebrows pulling together. "And you aren't?"
I blink. "I don't follow," I say, frowning.
"Why are you making excuses for him, Helen?" His voice is gentle, but there's something firm underneath.
"Why do you keep feeding yourself these excuses?"
I stare at him, confused. "I'm not making excuses. Dan would never intentionally hurt me,"
I say, standing up, suddenly feeling like I need to be anywhere but here.
I had come to find clarity, but instead, I feel more lost than before.
Dr. Dave watches me but doesn't try to stop me.
"Ponder on this, Miss Helen. We'll continue in our next session," he says without looking back as he writes something down.
I storm out of the office, slamming the door behind me. But my frustration turns to shock when I see Saint sitting there, waiting for me.
She stands up as soon as she sees me, arms crossed. "Took you long enough," she says.
I swallow hard, my mind still spinning from the session.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, my voice quieter than I expected.
Saint tilts her head, studying me. "Knew I would find you here," and gives me a little smile.