Chapter Thirteen – The True Touch of a Lover
The usual light pollution of the city made it impossible to see the stars, but things were different here on top of the building where Danny lived. After Vince and Jack had left, Ryder had waited patiently for his host to go to sleep. Listening to the soft sound of Danny's breathing brought peace to his heart, but at the same time, lying so close to the one he desired so much against the fate destined for him transformed quickly into pure torture. Ryder would have to chalk it all up to being some sort of curse standing in the way of getting to Theodore and claiming his mate, but in his heart, his desire for Danny rang true.
Curses worked like that, too, intent on making the cursed one believe poison was as sweet as honey. Ryder breathed in the night air, tipping his head back. The moon seemed even farther away here, showing the world just a small part of her face, like a shy maiden. Once she turned her round, beautiful face for everyone to see, his fate would already be written. His pack's survival depended on him, and he was no closer to his goal than he had been when he left Pinemoor behind for Glasstone and its fake promises of happiness.
He felt nothing toward Theodore, or at least he didn't feel anything he should feel toward a wolf who was supposed to be his fated mate. It had to be because of that cursed incense he had tried to destroy when going to the scent shop with Jack. If Theodore had an endless supply of that foul concoction, Ryder would never be able to make his mate see him for who he truly was. Nor would he be able to look at Theodore and experience the jolt of pleasure and longing he was only feeling now when Danny was close to him.
The plan they had come up with had some chance of success because it was unlikely that Theodore would bring that incense with him when he came to meet with Ryder. Even if he did bring some, as long as the incense wasn't burning its effects would be limited. Since he'd had the chance to test it on Jack by accident, and the clairvoyant disliked that poison less when it was inactive, that meant that Theodore would no longer be as deeply under its foul influence when seeing Ryder again.
Ryder searched his heart for the slightest hint that he looked forward to meeting his fated mate again. There were plenty of signs he desired that meeting, but the reason for it was wrong. He longed to challenge Theodore Pembroke to a fight and defeat him. It had nothing to do with the longing to embrace his strong body and mark him as his mate. There was no sense in what he felt. The curse was truly powerful.
If everything went well, it would be over soon. He would leave Glasstone and its wiles to the people who enjoyed living like this, and he'd be back to Pinemoor with his mate. They would save the pack and then live together in blissful happiness for as long as their lives stretched into the future.
He would leave more than that behind, he couldn't help thinking. Glasstone had at least one person in it that Ryder didn't want to abandon to the cesspool of evil that was this city. Danny was a good man, and even if he couldn't be the only one, he was the only one Ryder knew.
And wanted.
That was how he felt right now as he looked at the moon and wished for her guidance. The more time he and Danny spent together, the more his heart did what it wanted. Theodore's rejection hadn't hurt him; it had only surprised him, because his fated mated was supposed to be as enthralled with him as—
But Ryder didn't feel enthralled with Theodore at all. He wanted nothing to do with that big tower built upon vain cravings such as the imagined needs for fame and gold. At the end of it all, they couldn't replace the true touch of a lover. Theodore appeared to know nothing of such things. Ryder had the conviction in his heart that fated mates were bound to believe in their bond and, essentially, in love.
Love and Theodore were worlds apart. Ryder couldn't ever see them coming together; he wouldn't. He sighed again, as the destiny already traced for him hung heavy on his shoulders. It would all come to pass. Once he did his duty, he would love Theodore with everything he had. And then, he'd forget Danny and this small place on the roof where he could see the moon even in the heart of a city that believed in nothing he believed in.
***
Danny touched the place by his side gingerly. Ryder was no longer there, which made him sit up straight right away. Did he leave? Without saying goodbye? He could tell, and Ryder had been direct about it too, that the honest man from the country didn't want to put him in any danger. Danny hoped it wasn't something like that at the root of his absence. Maybe he just needed a bit of air, although it would be tricky to go outside, even at night.
He decided to check, so he got out of bed and put on a pair of fluffy slippers. He'd pretend that he couldn't sleep either if he ended up knocking heads with Ryder in his small apartment.
After a short investigation, he convinced himself, although he had known it already, that Ryder was nowhere inside. One great thing about small places was that no one could hide in dark corners to spook you.
Why had he thought of that sort of thing, out of the blue? Danny shrugged. Ever since he had taken a closer look at Theodore Pembroke on TV, a feeling of unease had settled in his heart. It had to be sadness.
And envy. Theodore was awesome; he had it all: looks, riches, you name it. And he could have anyone, but was destined to have Ryder, which wasn't fair. Who cared about fairness in this world, anyway?
Well, Danny cared, for a change. Ryder was the first guy to say such astonishing things to him; how Danny smelled great, how he was irresistible and things like that. And he couldn't forget to mention he was gorgeous. Gorgeous people had to be with other gorgeous people. Right?
There's your fairness, Danny told himself. Still, it didn't feel fair at all that the one time Danny found someone, that someone had to be in an arranged marriage situation. If Ryder had been crazy about Theodore, he would've understood that there was no place for him in that equation. One plus one always equals two, and not two and an Average Joe.
But Ryder in his directness and honesty hadn't said one thing about liking Theodore. He'd been open, instead, with how he felt about Danny, and where did that leave him?
Absolutely nowhere. Danny opened the front door and peeked outside. Only when he looked up, he noticed that the trap door leading to the roof was open. That meant that Ryder was there, he realized while his heart filled with trepidation. Ryder hadn't left. Of course, he was too polite to leave without saying goodbye and right now he didn't even intend to say goodbye at all since he had only gone up on the roof for a bit of air.
Did Ryder want to be alone? Danny debated with himself about what he should do. Although his good upbringing suggested to politely let his guest be, he decided in favor of looking for some blankets to bring them to Ryder as a pretext. The real motive behind his offer was different. He wanted to be close to Ryder now, while he still had the chance. Once the differences between Ryder and Theodore Pembroke were resolved, there would be no place for Danny in Ryder's life.
Maybe he'd get invited to the wedding, he thought, trying to cheer himself up. If Vance knew what he was thinking, he'd most likely scold him into doing what his heart desired, like snatching Ryder from Theodore and making him his.
As if that could ever happen, Danny snorted. If he got an invitation to the wedding, he'd just pretend that the thing had been lost in the mail. Stuff like that happened all the time.
He climbed the ladder slowly, careful not to drop the two blankets he had grabbed. What if Ryder was in the mood for a midnight snack? Damn, he should have thought of that earlier. Now it was too late or maybe, if neither of them was sleepy, they'd just make some popcorn and watch TV until morning.
Danny sighed, as he believed such images of domestic bliss were meant to remain nothing but fantasies. Ryder would most likely find him strange for even thinking of such things.
***
"I thought you might need a blanket."
Ryder turned his head at the sweet sound of Danny's voice. Lost in his thoughts as he'd been, he'd missed someone sneaking up on him. But Danny hadn't been sneaking, and Ryder was too relaxed around this human to maintain his usual level of alertness.
"I didn't mean to wake you," he said politely.
Danny, as he seemed encouraged by his words, moved closer with the blankets in his arms. "The view is something from up here, right? Especially at night."
Ryder took the offered blanket and offered his hand to Danny to help him sit by his side. He'd done that on impulse, and Danny appeared surprised but took his hand without commenting on it. His hand was smooth and pleasant in Ryder's bigger one. He could see himself walking hand in hand with Danny, wherever the human wanted them to go.
Such thoughts had been the reason why he had come to the roof. And now the temptation that seemed likely to make him stray from his path was by his side, and there was nowhere left for him to run.
"I don't mean the city," Danny added, although Ryder hadn't said anything. "From here," he said while looking up, "you can really see the sky. How many people look up at the sky, at least from time to time?"
Ryder remained silent. The light of the moon caressed the curve of Danny's cheek, making him look like an apparition from a fairytale. Danny called himself Average Joe, an idea that had been reinforced by Jack the clairvoyant as well. Yet Ryder saw nothing average about his person when he looked at Danny. In a world of harsh faces, his was kind. In a world of dull eyes his shone, even now in the dark.
He leaned forward and cupped Danny's cheek. Without thinking what doing so would mean for his fate, he brought their lips gently together. The moon was shining more brightly above him, and he knew it even without looking. So many thought the moon to be a cold celestial body, unworthy and incapable of producing a light of her own, but Ryder knew better. Her silver touch could be warm, too.
Danny gasped, pulling him out of his unspoken desire.
"You are going to marry Theodore Pembroke," he said.
"I will," Ryder replied grimly. His only hope lay on the lips he looked at now. They invited him to touch them with his mouth again, a forbidden fruit meant to take him down a road that would cause him to lose everything.
"But you kissed me."
"I cannot help it," Ryder admitted.
Danny let out something between a moan and a sob.
"Are you hurt somewhere?" Ryder asked and grabbed Danny by the arms now. An irrational need to ensure that the human before him wasn't hurt engulfed all his senses.
"Unless you count my feelings, no," Danny replied.
"Your feelings?" Ryder murmured as he moved closer. The call of Danny's warm body couldn't be denied.
"Argh, I'm an asshole, right? To come up here only to… only to--"
"Only to what?" Ryder asked, hungry for the words that remained unspoken, leaving him waiting.
"Only to tell you that I like you," Danny breathed out. "You will marry someone else. And this is just attraction, right? Physical attraction, nothing else. I mean, we might be good for a one-night-stand--"
"No," Ryder growled, deep in his chest.
"Okay, okay," Danny whispered, "I didn't mean to offend you by suggesting that we should have a one-night stand. Oh, gosh, I'm terrible at this. I mean, you told me I was irresistible, and then I just jumped to conclusions--"
Ryder couldn't help himself anymore. He wrapped himself around Danny and kissed him. Words were wasted on them. The moon above them approved and the clouds that obscured all the other stars from view couldn't stop her gentle glow from being showered upon the two people below her.
"I don't understand," Danny complained when Ryder let him breathe. "You kiss me like you want to have a one-night stand with me. Can we afford to indulge ourselves like this? Don't you have Theodore to think of?"
Ryder felt his blood rush hearing the name of his fated mate. "I don't love Theodore," he growled.
"You will love him, though," Danny said sadly.
What was Danny talking about? Ryder could see himself taking Theodore apart, and not in the throes of desire. He hadn't even known desire before meeting this human who was now trembling in his arms. The life that had happened to him before seemed to be nothing but a wan memory, nothing worthy about it that he should recall.
"I will never love him," Ryder said. "Touch me, and I will show you how much I don't want anyone else."
***
Although direct and filled with passion, Ryder's words sounded enigmatic and difficult to unravel in Danny's ears. The situation had escalated before he had even had time to wrap his head around his hidden intention of spending a night on the roof with his guest, before he went to meet his destiny.
Why were they caught in a drama that seemed to belong to a different century? If Theodore Pembroke didn't exist at all, they'd be free to enjoy their one-night stand or maybe even something more. Danny knew he was enjoying whatever was happening right now because it went beyond his wildest dreams concerning Ryder, or any other man to be exact.
Ryder's hands were on his back, caressing him through his t-shirt, but without showing any desire to sneak underneath it and touch his naked skin. His lips devoured Danny's, his tongue went even crazier and explored Danny's mouth little by little as if there was something there to be discovered and every little spot marveled at.
There was always the possibility that Ryder was a player, one who was great in the sack, obviously, but also a guy who knew how to get what he wanted. Danny kept trying to convince himself of that while every little shred of rational thinking was stripped away from him and ripped to pieces by Ryder's actions.
No, it wasn't possible. Under the light of the moon shining above, on this roof where the AC was noisy and the only reason why Danny's studio apartment had been such a steal, he knew that whatever he was trying to tell himself to belittle this situation held not one grain of truth.
Ryder wanted him. His lips, his hands, his entire body were honest. And Danny wanted him too. Ryder was going to be forced into loving someone else for the rest of his life – since he talked about fated mates and whatnot, he most likely didn't believe in separation or divorce – and then this moment would remain nothing but a regret to relive over and over for years to come.
Very lonely years. But Danny knew he wasn't doing it for Ryder when he hugged him back. He was doing it for himself, for all the years during which he had denied himself every occasion that might involve putting himself in danger. Not in danger-danger, he was plenty cautious to avoid those situations, but the danger of falling for someone who wouldn't be worthy of his affection in the end.
That ended tonight.
"I am selfish," he whispered as he moved his hands to touch Ryder's chest beneath his t-shirt. "I want you for myself even though you are promised to someone else. Stop me any time you get tired of hearing me talk like the heroine of a cheap historical romance."
"I can't ever be tired of you," Ryder said against his lips. "Forgive me for doing this to you, but I will die if I can't have you now."
Wow. Danny tried to shake his head to get rid of the intoxicating sensation of hearing such unequivocal declarations from a guy who could definitely do so much better than the man he was currently holding in his arms.
"You are also talking like we're in a swoon-worthy movie. I suppose we make quite a pair," Danny said.
"I speak the truth," Ryder replied while catching Danny's bottom lip between his teeth, tugging at it. There was nothing playful or calculated in how he did that; there was nothing but naked desire there, making Danny tremble from head to toe. "My life is in your hands tonight."
Tonight. It was good to remember that part. After all, this was a one-night stand, one that they would both remember for a long, long time.
At least Danny would. He couldn't imagine how anyone would be able to come close to the guy who was now all over him, eager to devour him piece by piece.
TBC