I can't lie to myself like this. I can't live a life like this.
I have been delt a bad hand. it has twisted my life for too long, only known by the Forefather.
This realm, sometimes. The way life works here is not supposed to be real. Nothing about this should have been real.
I want to go back to simpler times, where things weren't as complicated and overbearing.
I want to go back to Contraband. I need to go back to Contraband.
It is with a damp hand that I write what I can only consider as my last reach for anything conclusive in life. I'm writing a journal, I guess.
It was usually Werdum Clauss that wrote such things. That forsaken bookworm. I used to call him names and embarrass him in front of other knights for doing this. So did our commander Michelle. I was just trying to follow the pack. Demeaning the little man and his little poems seemed like an easy way to get on top of the ladder. I really craved that ladder.
I already start writing all this crap and I haven't even stated my name.
I'm Branda. Because of my marriage I changed my family name for Smith, So Branda Smith it is. Never thought they were doing this kind of practice too in this alternate world. It's funny sometimes how the small details can catch your eye. We perceive many things as huge despite staying lo-qi.
Marriage is one of those things, I guess. From one plane of existence to another, it's all the same. That's bogus, but I'm getting ahead of myself here.
I wanted to write this down because I needed to vent.
Let's start with the obvious part, well for me at least.
My village, my hometown, as sacred as it once was, could not withstand the horrible assault by Dr. Diago.
Samael Daigo, now that's a name I want to erase off my mind. I can't, but hey, didn't stop me from trying. A scientist that was developing marvelous technology for Contraband and landing us a hand in expending our geopolitical and economic power to scales unseen before. For reasons unknown, he betrayed us and ended as a contractor for other kingdoms, until he had enough forces to destroy Contraband.
That is my assumption. That is the Knight's general assumption. Never met the guy. I never will.
No one knows about immediate family or his background beforehand, what the hell was his goal. Samael lives in pure mystery. This mystery drives me insane.
I should have died.
He bombed our entire village and sent us down hundreds of feet below, to what should have been our doom. what we fell upon, however, it was not supposed to happen. It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't-.
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Alright! Back! Had to take a break because I may or may not have gone through a panic attack from just thinking all this stuff! I am not able to describe this without reaching parts of my memory I do not want to reach! Fantastic!
Anyway, I'll try shortening this.
All I'm going to say is that suddenly, after losing my whole family, my job, my town, my security and my community, every member of my squadron suddenly got these bizarre abilities. I know Michelle became extremely enraged with super strength, I think Usain learned how to use lightning and I also know one of us became immortal, but I forgot who it was. It's been a long time ago and since I tried to forget it all, it ended up being a bit blurry.
Me, on the other end, I ended up teleporting, as in generally travelling from one distance to another, or in this case one dimension to the other, in what seems to be a split second.
I cannot stress the feeling of almost dying the second I close my eyes, get this shock aching through my whole body, screaming as my whole being hurts in every way… only to wake up in a completely different environment, flustered in front of weirdly dressed strangers.
I then learn I'm still on earth yes, but in a country called Switzerland. In the English-speaking city of Dal Hallas, well, about as much English speaking as there could be in a placed mostly ruled by German and French. Apparently, people from north America went there and decided to set up an underground city. Why Switzerland? It doesn't seem that interesting, but what do I know. Also, German and French. Those are languages I never heard of in my side of the planet. My sub-universe of the planet? I still can't make sense of any of it.
It might sound like I'm rambling but imagine for a second that you BELIEVE you know your world until the Forefather slaps you in the face and BAM, new setting, new rules, new government, the only resemblance is that there are just more human beings, some animals are back and some of the infrastructure remains similar!
That's it.
I mean for crying out loud, I travelled to the lands of Finguard, nearby volcanoes, the sky city of Bastion! I fought dragons and orcs, made peace treaty with elves, and had to endure the disgusting smell of goblins every time I went near that local bartender's gruesome inn! I had to evade mages that casted ice from a wooden stick and giant man-beasts residing in the iciest of environments! Yes, I fought in the mountains a lot!
To the population here, to my husband and my son, that's the kind of fantasy you read in a book and play in video games (that's the closest thing to magic that they have by the way, I love this). Imagine everything you knew for real, getting tossed around and mocked in a book! They only have technology here. We got both magic AND technology. These "earthlings" are not even as advanced as us. They don't have any city that floats above a construction of rock, metal, and crystals, I can tell you that much!
They sure have weapons of mass destructions, however. I've learned a lot about the countries from their two famous world wars, apparently killing 50 million people.
50 million, gone in the span of 5 years.
That is...
That sounds impossible, but it did happen. I'm sick to the stomach just thinking about it.
That's when I discovered that earth is far more massive here then on my side of the planet, which hurts my brain even more, but I gave up on the science of it all, long ago.
I did mention it already in an off comment but yes, I do have a husband named Anthony, but he called himself Tony. He was a good man, nothing like the men I've encountered in Contraband, but that was for the better. I guess Tony was far more calm, collected and willing to listen. I can't tell, didn't LOVE him like that. I was secured with him enough during the worst of my breakdowns. He was the only one who was willing to shelter me when I arrived impromptu the way I did.
It was awkward at first, but the first few months flew by and yeah, kinda in love. I don't know if it's my trauma, my resistance, my absolute need to shield myself from these experiences. But it was a blessing for me to have him in my life, as much as it was a blessing for him to die in America.
Not only did he look like a hero, which made people appreciate my presence slightly more, because I'm the widow of a man that sacrificed his life for our country, but he also didn't have to endure the worst of me in the end:
Case and point, I found out very recently that I can still teleport.
If that had happened before his death, he would have probably taken our son away from me and send me in some weird laboratory.
I got cold feet, as people say here. No, that's a bad expression. I have nightmares every night about that.
My son. Riley J. Smith. The J. stands for Jeremiah, my grandfather who fought in the civil war to make Contraband into an independent country, in the 591st year of the legion. Tony wanted to name our son Riley so much because "it sounded cool". I found that name alright, so I let it slide. I balanced it out with meaning. I chose the one man that I was very proud of, who represented Contraband the best, in my opinion.
Riley is smart, very curious and attentive. I both love him and despise him. I love him because he's a sweet little angel and I despise him because knowing that I have the power to teleport, he definitely has some kind of ability too. I should have never birthed a child. He's living with such a carefree nature, no matter how many times I try to justify being worried and careful. People think I'm crazy since the death of my husband and that I'm shoving an unhealthy lifestyle down the throat of Riley to cope!
These people, they don't know what the fuck they are talking about!
They didn't see a giant robot smash through their homes, burning their whole town to ashes and killing their loved ones! They didn't have to constantly run through fire and look at the nearby smoke to see yet another person they couldn't save! It was my job to save my city and in the moment that mattered the most I failed!
I am a failure!
I should have never walked out the way I did! I should never have had a second chance! I shouldn't have had the balls to walk on this plane of existence and force an innocent man to birth a child that could potentially endanger his own community with powers he cannot understand!
These people would never understand.
But you can Riley!
If you ever grow old enough to understand the contents of this letter and my predictions end up being reality, please for the Forefather's blessing! Don't get involved in this mess! Stay away from this! You're a good boy with the potential to be a good man that contributes to his community, just like your daddy.
I beg of you, do not show me those kinds of powers again! Don't show me anything! I always wanted to have magic when I was younger, and I got them at the cost of seeing everyone I loved perish or driven to madness! It's not worth it!
I genuinely do not know what I'm going to do if you show me those kinds of powers.
I swear I-
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Specimen name: Branda Smith / Branda Y'letcher
Location: Dal Halls, Switzerland, Earth
Abilities: Dimensional Portal Traveling
Number of people killed: Over fifty thousand people
Threat level: Top Caliber
Comment on subjects: FOUND THIS NOTE IN RILEY J. SMITH'S LABORATORY. THE REST OF THE NOTE WAS DISCARDED, BRANDA RAMBLES ON AND STOPS THE NOTE ABRUPTLY. WE HEARD FROM OUR SOURCES THAT SHE HAD SLAUGHTERED THE CITY OF DAL HALLAS, EVEN WITH THEIR ADVANCED MILITARY FORCES, A COUPLE OF DAYS AFTER THIS NOTE WAS WRITTEN.
LIKE RILEY'S LETTER SUPPORTED, SHE'S GIFTED WITH A TCHEN, SO I HAVE NOTED THAT DOWN. CHANCELOR KEEPS PREACHING THAT I HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM NAMING TCHENS BEFORE STUDYING A SUBJECT, BUT IT'S DESCRIBED WITH SPECIFICS ALREADY. SUCH A BORE THIS GUY.
I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT THE HIGH GUARDIAN DESCRIBED AS A BLESSING OF THE FOREFATHER. FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, THAT'S NO GOOD. WE'LL WRITE IT IN THE DATABASE FOR NOW AND LOCATE HER WEARABOUTS.