Hi, Tanuki chan here, I'm really sorry for not posting a chapter yesterday. My friend broke up with her boyfriend on monday, and I've been supporting her as best I could. I hope she recovers soon. Thanks for supporting the novel, which already has 31,000 views. I really appreciate it. T - T
I hope you enjoy this chapter uwu.
Semiel woke up before the alarm, which was rare for him. He lay there for a while staring at the ceiling, holding his breath, as if moving would break something he still didn't fully understand.
Saval was still asleep at his place. He slept with a slight frown, like even in dreams he needed to stay alert. One hand was halfway out of the blanket, and his lips were slightly parted. None of it was new to Semiel, but it had been a long time since he'd seen him this close, this calm.
He stepped away without making a sound, walking carefully across the cold floor. He put on an old sweatshirt and went to the kitchen. He turned on the coffee maker while running a hand through his hair. His neck ached a little. He hadn't slept badly, but he hadn't exactly been comfortable either.
The coffee maker started making noise, that bubbling sound that always felt a bit too aggressive for the first thing in the morning. He cracked the window open just a little to let in some air. The sky was half-cloudy — typical of those May mornings where you don't know whether to wear a jacket or go out in short sleeves.
He placed two mugs on the table. He hesitated for a few seconds, then added sugar to only one. Saval's.
He went back to the bedroom in silence. Saval was still asleep. Semiel sat on the edge of the bed and watched him for a while longer, with no intention of waking him yet.
But Saval woke up.
—What time is it? —he mumbled, voice rough with sleep.
—A bit past eight —Semiel answered—. I made coffee.
Saval rubbed his eyes with a slowness that felt almost childlike. It took him a while to sit up. He did it slowly, like his body weighed more than usual.
—Thanks —he said.
Semiel stood up and left the room without a word. Saval followed him a few minutes later. His hair was a mess, and he shuffled his feet as he walked.
—You slept —Semiel commented, pouring himself a little more.
—Yeah... I hadn't slept like that in a while.
—Why?
Saval shrugged.
—I don't know. I guess I felt... safe.
Semiel glanced at him. He didn't want to smile, but a part of him did anyway.
—Weird that you feel safe in my place —said Semiel.
—It's not weird —Saval took a sip of his coffee, then looked at him—. What's weird is that you woke up early.
Semiel lowered his gaze. He took a few steps and leaned against the wall, arms crossed.
—Sometimes I think we ruined something that was so simple —he said—. That if I hadn't said anything, we'd still be fine.
—Fine? —Saval raised an eyebrow. —You think we were fine?
—I don't know. Maybe not. But… I had you close.
Saval didn't answer right away. He looked at his cup, turning it in his hands as if searching for something at the bottom.
—I had you too —he finally said—. But I didn't see you. Not… not like I do now.
—And how do you see me now?
—As someone I don't want to lose.
Semiel took a deep breath. His eyes burned, but he didn't cry. He walked over to the table and sat across from him.
—I don't want to lose you either —he said—. And I don't want you the way I did before… but I also don't want this to ruin us.
Saval nodded slowly.
—I… I don't know if I can give you everything you expect, Semiel.
—I'm not asking for everything. I just want you to be here.
A long silence settled between them. Not uncomfortable, but full. Like the words were floating around, unsure of which one to land on first.
—What are you doing today? —Saval asked after a while.
—I've got class at ten. Then I think I'll see David. You?
—Library. Ethics is killing me.
Semiel smiled.
—Mia would be proud.
—Mia is always judging my study habits.
—Because she cares.
—I know.
Another silence. This one lighter. Less heavy.
—Hey —Semiel said—. Do you feel comfortable staying here? I'm not saying move in or anything. Just… if you ever need a place. The old man wouldn't say anything, you know he likes you.
Saval looked at him with a mix of tenderness and pain.
—Thanks. Really. But I think I need to go back to my space for a bit. Clear my head.
—I get it.
—But… I don't want this to go cold again.
—Then let's not let it.
Saval nodded. He finished his coffee in silence. Then he got up, went to the bathroom, and came back with his hair somewhat combed. He put on his sneakers and grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair.
Semiel walked him to the door. He didn't hug him. Didn't touch him. But they stood there for a few seconds looking at each other. And in that look, there was something that, while not a promise, felt a bit like a bridge.
—See you —Saval said.
—Yeah —Semiel replied.
The door closed gently. No slam. No rush.
Semiel went back to the kitchen, picked up the cups, and washed them slowly. Then he leaned against the counter and let the sound of the water clear his thoughts a little.
There was something in the air. Not hope, but a kind of calm he barely recognized. As if, for...