"I am sorry for hurting you."
"Why me?" I found myself asking.
I shouldn't care. I shouldn't want to know. His revenge against Leah and the Callisto's was none of my business. Whatever he wanted to achieve he could do it with somebody else. I knew this. So why was I hungry to know? Why did this man bother me so much?
"Promise me you won't get mad."
I scrunched. We'd been sitting inches apart. He closed the gap, I almost leaped off the bench.
Whispering, he said, "Cause I want you." Then he guffawed.
He must have thought he was pretty funny. I didn't find him funny at all. And I honestly thought his jokes could use some work.
"That's not very funny."
"You should lighten up."
I frowned. Why was I the only one uncomfortable in this situation. It didn't seem fair.
"If you're not gonna be serious, you should leave. You know what, the idea of a walk doesn't seem so bad right now."
The second I was on my feet, the sound of thunder rumbled. I shrieked. My hands flew to cover my ears, my eyes closed, my body fear stricken it chose to sit back down. Except it didn't find the bench, but Christian's body.
I squirmed, mortified. I was about to move when the sky roared again. I hugged Christian, begging my heart to still.
I was still embarrassed sitting on his legs, but I was more scared of the sound of thunder. It wasn't just fear, it was more of an anxiety disorder. I thought I'd dealt with it…
Huge muscled arms wrapped around me. I wanted to fight him, but his scent clouded my nose and I found myself calming in his embrace despite the continuous sound of thunder.
***
We sat quietly in his car. Now that I was no longer afraid, embarrassment clothed me in all its glory. Saying I was mortified at my behavior was an understatement.
I cursed, just under my breath. My mouth refused to stop spitting expletives when the memory of my embarrassment played in my mind like a film on repeat.
God!Iwishedicouldforget.
And sitting here, why did I agree to let him drive me home?
My thoughts didn't stop spiraling even after I tried to encourage myself. After all, i didn't do it on purpose. It did not make it easier to accept though. I couldn't bring myself to look at Christian who was obviously very calm despite what had just happened between us.
"You could have gotten drenched."
I was so in my head that it had been raining for a while and I was only just noticing.
"Whose fault would it have been?" I snapped, my eyes finally coming open.
The moment I turned to look at Christian, his taut hand which was stretched out holding the steering wheel while he reclined, came into my view.
I writhed in my seat, turning towards my side of the window. I must have lost my mind because the picture of his arm with his black sleeve folded began to play on repeat.
Why did he look so good just driving?
"Have you thought about my proposal?"
This was my chance to bite his head off again. I should snap at him and make him regret ever asking me this question again. This was a good opportunity to make him see that I would never be on his side.
And yet, I stayed quiet, the words stuck in my throat.
Was it because I was embarrassed? It had to be. There was no way I was really considering taking him up on his offer.
Fortunately, we arrived at my home. The car had barely stopped moving when I tried to open the door and realized that it was locked.
"About the bus stop…"
"Stop!" I yelled. "We don't have to talk about it. Let's never talk about it. Can we do that?" While I spoke, I averted my eyes, looking everywhere but at him.
"Lora for fucks sake, relax. Having a phobia isn't a crime. You don't have to feel bad about it."
That's what he was talking about? Phew!
I nodded.
"The door?" I said almost mutely.
He unlocked his car door and I ran out.
The door to my house was slightly open. I figured my parents were home, so I just ran in.
My body became motionless, standing in shock when my eyes landed on the scattered and almost empty living room. I scanned the place with my eyes. The television was gone. And so was the old stereo my dad seemed to love so much. The chairs missing were the first thing I noticed when I came in, the single brown armchair that was adjacent to the long white two seater chair, as well as the small glass table that always stood in front of them. Everything that used to be in the small dining area had been cleared too.
As if my body was moving on its own, I found myself in my room. My wardrobe had been ransacked, the few clothes and shoes left behind all over the wooden floor. I rushed out of my room, running to my parents room.
Their room was also a mess. The pang in my heart grew when I noticed that their traveling bags were missing too.
It's not what you think?
I kept telling myself.
I reached for my purse, but it wasn't on me. So I ran to the living room. It wasn't in the open space either.
The door bell rang and before I could respond, Christian was standing in front of me.
"You forgot your…"
His eyes reflected the shock mine had.
I snatched the purse from his hand, fumbling through it.
The pink device came out and immediately I called my mum.
No longer in service?
I called my dad's number and it said the same thing. While praying and begging that this was a dream I would wake up from, I called my younger sister's number.
My phone fell from my hands when the same voice repeated exactly what it had said when I called my parents.
Christian's hands held me as tears flowed from my eyes.
I noticed his mouth was moving, but my ears failed to hear what he was saying.
My biological parents weren't rich, but they were decent people. I thought they had finally accepted me. Even after the switch and Leah had gone to the Callisto's, they still loved her, preferred her to me. Every day I tried to make them accept me.
Nobody wants you.
The Callisto's had so easily accepted Leah. Why couldn't they accept me? Why did nobody want me?
If they wanted to move, why did they leave me behind?