It had been a week. Only one week since Christian traveled and I'd stayed locked up in this house. I was losing my mind. I couldn't do it anymore.
At first, I thought breakfast every morning with his parents would be the worst part of my day. But after only two days, I started to enjoy having at least one meal a day with people around. It broke the silence, and the routine now felt almost normal. Until it wasn't anymore. After four days, I began to skip lunch. Eating alone made me lose my appetite. The house had started to feel like the prison I feared it was. Quiet and cold, suffocating.
And Christian, he'd not called or sent any messages after the second day. I had no idea what he was up to. And I was starting to resent the isolation more than I cared to admit. I needed to step outside of this cage I called a home. It wasn't doing me any good. The solitude made my mind wander, and when it wandered, it went to places I wished it wouldn't.
So what if they had a relationship? I told myself it was probably in the past. Christian was married now, and he wouldn't cheat on me.
It's a contract marriage.
I hadn't forgotten. But sometimes, I shoved the thought so far down, it took me a second to remember.
Still, it wasn't right, contract or not. I'd pledged to be faithful, to not see anyone the first two years of our marriage. Unfortunately, I was the only one. I'd been naive to think that Christian was celibate.
Fuck! Now that I thought about it, my naivety was beginning to look more like foolishness.
The man smartly hid his entanglement, and I'd interpreted it to mean that he was abstinent. Of course, he had women. Christian was a powerful man with options, not to mention the very obvious fact that he had needs that had to be met.
Because the tabloids had never portrayed him as promiscuous, I'd deluded myself into believing that he was not. So, I signed a contract that bound me to celibacy, while he had no such obligations to me.
Double fuck!
It couldn't be right. Paper or not, I was still his wife in the eyes of the world. I won't allow him to disrespect me like that. At least that's what I told myself was the reason for my anger and sleepless nights since that day.
I needed a break from all of this, a break from thinking about him, about us, about every wrong decision I believed I had taken.
I strode into the living room. I'd woken up earlier than I usually did. Elizabeth was cleaning. I was happy to see a friendly face.
"Good morning, Ma'am." Elizabeth gave me a warm, friendly smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
"Good morning, Elizabeth." I settled on the single armchair, my view, the garden. Ernesto was at it again, trimming the hedges as he did every other morning.
"Do you need anything?"
I shook my head at her. "I can get coffee myself, thank you."
She continued on with her work. Elizabeth was an African American woman who was in her early forties. She had long curly hair she'd waxed into a tight bun at the back of her head. Our eyes briefly met when she looked behind her as she cleaned the large glass wall that separated the living room from the outdoors. She quickly averted her gaze. I noticed a charm bracelet on her wrist. It had a small dog charm dangling from it. I watched her work for a moment, grateful for the quiet companionship she provided.
When she was done cleaning she left, disappearing through the backdoor.
It was just as she stepped out that Clara walked in, a small frown tugging at the corners of her lips. I didn't hide my discomfort when I saw her. In fact, the sight of her did more to unsettle me than I ever cared to admit.
"Would you like to see a movie tonight?"
My brows furrowed as I looked at her. Today's running outfit was a white Nike top and leggings set. Clara's tone was casual, still it dripped with that air of arrogance that seemed to follow her wherever she went.
"Christian asked me to take you. That is, if you want to. So, do you?"
"With you?" Even though I looked at her like she was spewing crazy words, she didn't lose her cool. She didn't even blink.
"Yes. With me." Her gaze remained steady.
There was no way I was going to spend an evening outside with Clara. Me and her watching a movie, together? That was literally my worst nightmare. But the more I thought about it, the more desperate I became. My eagerness to leave this house grew stronger by the second. Going out with Clara would be hell, but it was nothing compared to being locked up indoors with my thoughts.
"I'll go." The words tasted bitter as they left my mouth.
"We'll leave by six."
***
The day dragged on, each hour slipping by slower than the last. I couldn't control the giddiness bubbling inside me. I could hardly wait for six to come. Finally, I would see outside.
Sometimes, I found it hard to believe that this was my new life. Being locked up, under the control of someone. It felt like I was being tamed, and I didn't like it one bit.
Thirty minutes before six, Clara came to my door.
"We still have thirty minutes. Are we leaving now?"
Her eyes were soft like the first day I'd met her. Her lips fell downward, and she looked apologetic.
"We can't go. I'm sorry. Something came up, and I have to leave for an errand now."
My shoulders fell. My heart sank. I couldn't believe she was backing out. The one thing that had kept me going today, the one tiny glimpse of freedom, had just been ripped away.
"Can't you cancel. Do it another time."
"I'm sorry. I really am. We'll go some other day."
The words felt like a stab to my chest. I wanted to scream, and mentally I did.
I needed this. I had to go out. My mental health was at risk here.
"I could go alone." I suggested, barely able to contain my desperation.
"Christian said you weren't allowed to go out on your own."
Of course he did.
"I'll be quick. And I'll go when it's dark. Nobody has to know."
I hated that I was asking her for this favor. But I was more desperate. My pride would have to take a back seat for this one.
I looked at Clara imploringly. She thought about it.
"I could get in trouble for this."
I found that hard to believe. Which made me feel annoyed. Now was not the time for that though. I pushed the thought aside.
"Okay. But nobody can know. You have to be very careful."
"Oh, thank you." I almost hugged her out of excitement, but stopped myself at the last second.
I changed into a fitted black shirt, a tight blue jean, and a black heel ankle boot. I grabbed a face cap, pulling it low over my head to hide my identity, just in case.
The ride I'd ordered was here. By the time I left the house, it was nearly seven. The air smelled of fresh leaves and wet soil, the crispness of the evening giving me a sense of freedom I hadn't felt in days.
I stepped into the cab that had been waiting outside. The cinema was only a ten-minute drive away. The closest one to home. I understood why Christian had forbidden me from going out. If the paparazzi caught me out, it would be the latest gossip.
Every mood dampening thought left my mind when I stepped into the theater. Inside, the movie started, and I settled into my seat with a bag of popcorn and a smoothie in hand. The lights dimmed, and I allowed myself to relax, sinking into the story unfolding on the screen. For two hours, I wasn't trapped at home. I wasn't a prisoner. I was just me, watching a film, enjoying my moment of peace.
The movie ended, and I stretched, my body sore from sitting for so long. I was feeling better, freer, more like myself. But the thought of returning to that house, my prison, made me sad.
But then another thought flashed through my mind.
Maybe I can do this again. Maybe I can escape every now and then. Until Christian returns.
When I stepped outside the theatre, instantly, flashing lights were in my face. And before I could react, a mob of people surrounded me. My breathing was fast, panic rising from within me. My entire body began to tremble, my eyes getting moist. Questions flew in every direction, the light from the camera's causing a temporary blindness. I bowed my head, praying that someone, anyone could rescue me.
It had only been seconds since I'd been attacked by the paparazzi, but it felt longer. I'd almost given up on getting saved when a hand held my shoulder, pulling me back against solid muscular body.