"What is your feeling right now?"
Kai asked him curiously, as he turned his gazes towards the beautiful woman, though she's beautiful before but right now she even become much more beautiful to the point anyone could think that she's like a person from an illusion.
The woman looked back at Kai, and she smiled lightly, but her smiled contained a piece of helplessnes, pain, sorrow,sadness, grief, agony, relief and solace. Then a tears slowly dripping from her eyes, like a tears of falls that she kept hidden for many many years.
She put her hands in her face, trying to hide the beautiful face of a young woman who's crying uncontrollably, I could feel a lot of emotion flowing in the surrounding and all of that emotion is coming from the woman who's crying,it's complex and unexplainable like she experience something extremely dreadful at the same time, she also experience a salvation.
Then the woman slowly spoke, her voice is full of sadness, like a young woman who lost everything she loves.
"I-i-i experience a dream or maybe an illusion?, in the illusion I-i was reincarnated in a body of 7 years old kid and the family is full of love and everything, as for a person like me who doesn't feel the loves of her parents, it's like my life long dream and my deepest desired, but I remember my past like or my life here I tried to think everything is just an illusion because of my memory from previous life or my life now"
She stopped absurbly, I feel her pain while trying to remember everything that happened in the illusion, her voice is trembling because of pain? Or relief? Or regret? I don't know.
"B-but my parents in that illusion or dream gave me the love I always wants to feel from my true parents, even though, I said in myself or promised myself, I would never feel anything from this world so if the trial was done, I wouldn't feel anything but ,but the love and cared they put on me is extremely real to the point I start to think, is my previous life are true? Or perhaps it's just a nightmare? I start to doubt my memory at the same time, I'm slowly embracing my new life.
I-i-had a two big brother and one s-sister, all of them is like my siblings in this world, their personality, looks, everything, our family is also quite rich with high status so we really didn't feel any suffering or anything.
T-then my memory of my previous life is slowly vanishing, as I feel more and more attached in to the family illusion, then I reached the point where there's no such a thing as going back or turning back.
At that time, I seriously think that my memory in this world, is just a distant nightmares, a nightmare I got when I was a kid and I fully embraced my new life.
Everything is going great, I got a handsome and kind fiance basically a perfect man for me, our family business is striving steadily both my brother was married and got a child.
Our life is like perfect.
Until.
Everything goes wrong, when my father die, he die because of sudden invasion of other country, he fought bravery until his death, then my mother because of grief and lost of her most important person, my mother die in the same day as my father buried, no one really knows how did she die but my mother just lost consciousness and die.
My 2 brother and their family die because of an accident even as for my sister, she also die in an accident when she's going back from another country, bacause my mother and father die, however the ship where she's on sunk in to the deepest part of the ocean.
When that news reached me,I-i-im on the verge of breaking/collapsing fortunately my fiance is still there for me, comforting me and he does everything just to make me feel comfortable.
Then in the next day he also die, no one know the reason behind his sudden death. As a result of losing every single person who I loved, I totally pushed into the limit and forced to commit suicide.
Then I woke up, I woke up in the same day/months/years when I reincarnanated, in the same place or in my bedroom, while my memory of the future is still there intact, at first I was wondering how did I go back in time? But of course no answer comes to me but I'm sure of one thing, I'll be able to change the fate of our family.
I was full of confidence at that time, then all of it crashed because I was able to saved them from the same events that killed them before however, in the same day, they also die because of another reason.
Then all of thing happened before repeat itself.
But at that time, I also die in the same day as before because of assassin.
Then like what happened before, I regress again.
Then I die again, and again, and again, i repeatedly die and repeat the cycle of my life for countless times, I don't even know how many times I die and regress just to saved them, probably it's countless however nothing happened, nothing change, nothing improves like their death is enevitable and will always be, they still die no matter how much effort and struggle I make, it's helplessness.
I tried countless approach, countless different plan, scheme and anything that can saved them but everything I does is always end up futile and pointless, I watched them dying for countless times without being able to do something like their fate is always set to die at that exact same day.
I think before, if I the fate doesn't allowed it, then I, myself would allow it, what can a fate do on a person who can regress? So I said in myself, if you don't allowed it then it's better for you to be destroyed right, if I can't destroyed the fate with one strike, what about tens? Hundreds? Thousand? Hundreds thousands? Million? Tens of million? Hundreds million? Billion?
I start to change the fate of everyone, not just my family or friends but 'everyone' every living creatures in the world, let's see what will happened on the fate if the fate of everyone had change?
But instead of changing, their fate had change into 'death', that is the time I realized something, The Fate is like a record, a record of someone's life from the beginning until the End, and if the Fate of that person change, there's enevitable fact.
If I were to describe the Fate, we can me metaphorically as a book where the life of everyone is recorded from the beginning until the end.
If we tried to change to words written into book, then that words would gone however there's a twist, we cannot write something on the book even if we can change it.
And if the Words written on the book vanished it means the end become nearer and nearer, if I completely changes their fate right now, then tomorrow,they are fated to die or to end.
So I lost all of my hope, The Fate is absolute if you don't want to followed it, then it will take the script of your life.
But why-why does I need to go through this suffering? Watching every single one of my loves one to die, one by one, I don't know the reason nor would I want to know.
I also tried to leave the problem, escape the enevitable fate, however, Fate is absolute, when I tried to leaves it, she/he take every script of my life from that point until the end.
W-why? Why does the Fate doesn't do that when I'm trying to change the Fate of my family?, is it because Fate is cruel? and will always be, it likes to watched and play with someone's life?.
Do you know?, I experience all kinds of suffering in that countless cycle of life , I was betrayed, killed,tortured,abandon,etc.
Until, I completely lost every emotion and attachment of myself in that illusion.
How did I escape the endless cycle of life? And break the illusion, you may asked? It's very simple, I just have to destroyed the illusion or rather, my dream life with using my owned hands.
The Dream of happy family,loving parents, perfect life, perfect fiance, with my siblings,etc."
For a moment, kai was momentarily stunned, he cannot really feel empathy before he transmigrated into Kai von azik body, but right now, he feels it, an indescribable feeling of sadness and pity for the woman Infront of him.
The woman or rather Sumian were still crying, then Kai pulled him into his shoulders and let him rest in it while patting her head, his left hand was holding sumians slim waist, it's like they are a couple now, he slowly said I'm gentle toned.
"Just cry into your heart content, I may not be able to help you from relieving the pain but I at least can lend you my shoulders and pat your head"
Kai frozed for a moments, but he doesn't stop what he's doing though he really doesn't know why does his body just casually pulled Sumian into himself and said comforting words well probably because of muscle memory, after all, that guy is known as womanizer so it's probably a natural instincts of this body.
As for Sumian, she was startled at first but the warm and comforting voice of the person make her rest her head completely on his shoulders, the shoulders of young man is filled with muscles while the scent of him is really pleasant.
The maid, which is Marie looks on his young master and on the girl who just enter the room while ago, she smirk a little then.
"Ehem, I think young master should restraint yourself from doing that, The princess, Lady Arianna would be extremely angry with you if you keep doing that with a lot of woman"
"It's not like she would cared right?"
Kai asked, trying to measured how high does Ariana seeing him. After all, there's no piece of memory he can used to estimate it.
"Can I be frank young master?"
Without waiting on Kai respond, she continued.
"Certainly, Lady Arianna wouldn't really cared about such a trivial things, especially if it is you who make it but she still value her reputation and you know what I mean right? Young master"