The world snapped into grayscale. Cheerful trumpet music blared as the group stood in a pristine 1950s suburban living room. Floral wallpaper, a crackling fireplace, and a laugh track looping on delay. The air smelled like lemon polish and existential dread.
System Alert (rebooted):
[New Zone: Leave It to Eldritch]
Objective: Survive the sitcom. Bonus points for wholesome family values!
Alex's cybernetic arm glitched, static crawling up their shoulder. "Oh, this is bad."
Kairo adjusted his grip on the Admin Blade, its neon edge clashing with the monochrome room. "Stay sharp. The Storyweaver's here."
Finn poked a porcelain figurine on the mantel. It hissed, revealing needle teeth. "Yep. Definitely haunted by capitalism."
A door creaked open.
@Storyweaver_Prime (Sitcom Dad Mode):
"Honey, I'm home!"
He stepped inside, his sweater vest pristine, face a distorted blend of Callum's tired eyes and the Beta's void-like grin. Behind him, a June Cleaver-esque monster floated, her smile stretching to her ears, hands clutching a meatloaf oozing black sludge.
"Dinner's ready, kids!"
The laugh track crescendoed as the group was forced into chairs. Alex's Beta Reader's Glasses flickered:
- Meatloaf:Sanity Damage (100% lethal)
- June Cleaver:Nostalgia Hypnosis (In progress)
Alex's Move:
They slammed their fist on the table, Fourth Wall Break (Tier 3) shattering the dinnerware. "We're not playing house!"
Kairo's Move:
His blade sliced through June Cleaver's ladle, spilling sludge that burned holes in the linoleum. "Finn, the laugh track—disable it!"
Finn's Move:
He yanked a vacuum tube from the wall, hacking the Golden Age Hack into the radio. Static screeched, warping the laugh track into a death metal growl.
Nyx's Move:
She scrawled "NO THANKS" in crayon across the meatloaf. It writhed, dissolving into pixelated maggots.
Sync Rate: 8%
The screen flickered to a vintage detergent ad.
Announcer: "Tired of STAINS? Try VOID-BANE™!"
The detergent bottle exploded, spewing Sentient Bubbles that latched onto Nyx.
System Alert:
[Nyx's Sync Rate: 6% – CRITICAL]
Alex's Move:
They rewrote the ad script with Author Mode, turning bubbles into Comedic Relief Balloons. "Pop them, Finn!"
Finn's Move:
Stabbed a balloon with a fork. It screamed, "Whyyyyy?!" before bursting into confetti.
Veyra materialized atop the TV, crushing it under her heel. "Cute aesthetic. Let's renovate."
Mirror Mode activated, reflecting June Cleaver into a Tentacled Housewife Horror.
Veyra: "Better, right?"
The sitcom loop restarted.
@Storyweaver_Prime: "Honey, I'm home!"
Alex: "We're stuck. Unless—"
Kairo: "Combine our strikes. Now."
Alex + Kairo Combo:
- Alex's Heart-Eater Debuff: Targeted the Storyweaver's fear of obscurity. "You're a has-been."
- Kairo's Lyra's Melody: Played a discordant note, cracking the set's facade.
The walls peeled back, revealing Callum's decayed form chained to a typewriter.
Callum: "I just… wanted to matter…"
Nyx unleashed a Silent Scream, sync rate dropping to 4%. The typewriter exploded, freeing Callum.
Veyra snatched a shard of the Beta's code from the wreckage. "Ta-ta, heroes! My spin-off's gonna slay."
The sitcom world dissolved. The group stood in a void, Nyx's hand trembling in Alex's grip.
Finn: "Did we just… cancel the apocalypse?"
Kairo: "Temporarily."
Alex: "Good enough."
The System dinged.
[Achievement: Best Supporting Cast]
Reward: 24hrs of narrative peace (Terms and conditions apply).
Veyra perched on a neon throne, scrolling through Scion's Clone Army.
"The next phase needs drama. Let's give them a love triangle."
Nyx's crayon glowed faintly in the void. Alex didn't let go of her hand. Kairo didn't mention it. Finn smirked. The System? Well, it was already loading the next disaster.