Mazikeen, still grinning, tilted her head as she eyed the redhead in front of her. "So," she said, crossing her arms, "what's your name?"
The woman—who Lucifer was quite sure was enjoying this far more than she let on—remained perfectly neutral as the men behind her started pushing the civilians outside.
"It's polite," the redhead replied smoothly, her voice even, measured, "to offer your own name before asking someone else's."
Lucifer saw it immediately.
A controlled deflection, a tactical shifting of power in the conversation.
Oh, very good.
Mazikeen glanced back at him with a delighted smirk.
"Oh, she's manipulative," she mused, her eyes gleaming with admiration. "How perfect."
Lucifer sighed, dramatically adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves.
"Yes, yes," he muttered, "a warrior with a manipulative streak. I see why you're interested."
Mazikeen gave the woman another slow, appreciative once-over before nodding in approval. "You're a spy, aren't you?"
The redhead didn't flinch. Didn't react at all.
Mazikeen's grin widened. "A deadly one."
Lucifer chuckled under his breath. Oh, Maze was enjoying this immensely.
Mazikeen finally offered a name.
"Mazikeen," she said simply. "The one behind me is my boss."
Lucifer arched a brow at that introduction.
"Who can also introduce himself, Maze," he muttered dryly, rolling his eyes.
The spy turned her attention to him now, studying him in that way predators study other predators.
Lucifer tilted his head, watching her with equal amusement.
She was calculating.
Trying to place me, are you? he thought. Go on, darling. Try.
After a beat, she gave her name.
"Natasha Romanoff."
She said it with intent—not quite a warning, but not far from one, either.
Lucifer smirked.
And then, he decided to make this fun.
He took a deliberate step forward, his presence shifting—subtle at first, then undeniable.
The air grew heavier, not oppressive, but charged, like the atmosphere before a storm.
He was no mere man. And it was time they felt that.
His golden eyes gleamed, amusement flickering like candlelight behind them.
"Ah," he said, his voice silk-wrapped steel, rich with something ancient, something deep. "Where are my manners?"
He spread his arms, his very presence settling over the room, something unseen yet impossible to ignore.
"I am Lucifer Morningstar," he declared, voice smooth but carrying weight. "The Devil. The Stan, the King of Hell, and my personal favorite, Old Scratch."
He let the words settle, let the weight of his name press into the room, not with force, but with certainty.
For just a moment, the shadows stretched toward him, bending at the edges of reality, a whisper of what lay beneath the façade.
Lucifer smiled, slow and deliberate.
"Pleasure to make your acquaintance."
There.
A reaction.
It was small, but he caught it.
The faintest, briefest twitch of Natasha's fingers—a movement so minute it would have been imperceptible to anyone else.
But not to him.
Lucifer chuckled softly, his smirk lingering as Mazikeen practically purred in delight at Natasha's reaction.
"Only a twitch of fingers?" she murmured, clearly impressed. "Boss, can I keep her?"
Lucifer tilted his head, feigning consideration.
"Now, now, Maze," he said smoothly, his voice a velvety murmur, "let's not frighten our new friends. Yet."
Before Natasha could respond—
A new presence entered the conversation.
Or rather, dropped into it.
THUD.
A figure in gleaming red-and-gold armor landed between Lucifer and Pepper, shoulders squared, repulsors humming with barely restrained energy.
Lucifer sighed dramatically.
Ah. And here comes the self-proclaimed knight in shining armor.
The armor straightened, positioning himself directly in front of Pepper, arms raised, repulsors locked onto Lucifer and Mazikeen.
Behind him, another suit of armor touched down heavily, more military-grade, the metal dark and bulkier.
Ah. Two of them.
War Machine stepped up beside Iron Man, his helmet scanning between Lucifer, Mazikeen, and the confused but unharmed civilians still standing around.
"Okay," Iron Man said, voice casual, but firm, "I know I just got electrocuted a lot, so someone tell me I didn't just hear what I think I did."
Lucifer arched a perfectly sculpted brow. "That depends," he mused. "What do you think you heard?"
Iron Man's helmet disengaged, metal plates shifting away to reveal the deeply unimpressed expression of the famous billionaire Tony Stark.
"Oh, you know," he said, making a vague motion with his free hand. "Just some guy calling himself the literal Devil while making the room do… that."
He gestured at the spot where Lucifer had stood moments ago, where the subtle, lingering distortion of shadows still clung unnaturally to the floor.
Lucifer offered a dazzling smile.
"Ah, good," he said cheerfully. "Then you did hear correctly."
Tony stared. Then blinked. Then exhaled sharply, turning toward War Machine.
"Well," he muttered, "that's new."
War Machine, not lowering his weapon, let out a dry, unimpressed sigh. "We don't have time for this, man."
"Yeah, yeah, demon sighting goes on the list, somewhere under 'ex-girlfriends' and 'still being electrocuted.'"
Lucifer, mildly amused, watched as Tony turned back toward him, repulsors still primed.
"So, what's their deal?" Maze asked, tilting her head briefly to the robots. "You two government types, or just really dedicated cosplayers?"
"Government?" Tony muttered to War Machine. It made Maze know she made an error in judgement.
"Lucifer, who are they?"
Lucifer shrugged because, while he had seen a brief history of this world, he didn't have the specifics of it. So he knew of Iron Man and Tony Stark, but not that they were the same, for example.
Mazikeen glared at him.
"What is the point of omniscience," she hissed, "if you don't actually use it?"
Lucifer sighed dramatically.
"Oh, but Maze," he said, gesturing grandly, "where's the fun in knowing everything all the time? Better off with it."
Mazikeen narrowed her eyes. "What are you talking about?"
Lucifer offered her a charming, lazy grin.
"I may have sealed that particular… annoyance from myself."
Mazikeen snapped her attention fully to him now, finally distracted from her new spy obsession.
"You sealed something?" she repeated. "What did you seal?"
Lucifer smirked. "Only the boring parts of myself."
Mazikeen frowned. "Define boring."
Lucifer sighed, shaking his head as though the answer should be obvious.
"The big O's," he said simply.
Mazikeen's eyes narrowed further before pinching the bridge of her nose.
"So… omniscience and omnipresence?" she asked dryly.
Lucifer spread his hands in an elegant shrug.
"One must learn to live in the moment, Maze."
Tony slowly turned back to Rhodey.
"Yeah, okay," he said, rubbing his temples. "I'm not drunk enough for this."
War Machine grunted, lowering his weapon slightly. "Not nearly."
Lucifer simply smiled, watching them all with pure amusement.
This vacation?
Was going to be spectacular.
Maze didn't seem to think that as she, still irritated, gave Lucifer a pointed glare.
"If I could," she muttered, gritting her teeth, "I'd wring your neck until you passed out."
Lucifer, delighted by the very idea, chuckled as he tilted his head toward her.
"Ah, but Maze," he mused, golden eyes glinting mischievously, "I don't need to breathe."
He leaned in slightly, lowering his voice as though sharing a delightful secret.
"But," he murmured, a slow smirk curling at the edges of his lips, "if this is something you'd like to explore as a kink, I'm more than happy to oblige."
Mazikeen rolled her eyes so hard it was a miracle she didn't strain something.
Tony Stark, who had absolutely not signed up for this conversation, made a vague distressed noise in the back of his throat.
Rhodey, not paid enough for this bullshit, simply exhaled sharply and muttered, "I hate everything about this."
Natasha, stoic and ever the professional, did not react.
Not visibly, at least.
Meanwhile, Lucifer continued as if nothing was wrong.
"Besides, my dear," he added, straightening his coat, "a vacation is meant for relaxation. And how, pray tell, would I find any joy if I already knew everything?"
Mazikeen muttered under her breath, something low and sharp in Lilim, before sighing loudly.
"I hope Amenadiel finds you quickly," she grumbled. "At least he'd annoy you properly."
Lucifer's good mood faltered, just slightly.
His smirk dimmed, just for a fraction of a second.
Ah. Amenadiel.
Right.
His nagging older brother would inevitably track him down, deliver a self-righteous lecture, and demand he return to his so-called responsibilities.
Except—
Lucifer suddenly remembered just how difficult it had been to find this universe.
How it had been buried, hidden, severed from the usual threads of reality.
And that meant—
Lucifer brightened again.
"Oh, no need to fret about that, Maze," he said cheerfully. "Considering how exceptionally difficult this place was to find, I'd say we have at least a couple of years before dear Amenadiel stumbles his way here."
Mazikeen perked up at that.
"So, no annoying big brother?" she asked, hopeful.
Lucifer grinned. "Not for quite some time."
That seemed to satisfy her.
For now.
The two of them continued their back-and-forth, their attention entirely on each other, seemingly forgetting about everyone else.
Tony, who had just fought a metal-armed maniac and was still processing the whole 'actual Devil' thing, gestured vaguely at them.
"Are they—" he started, turning to Natasha. "Are they just… ignoring us now?"
Natasha sighed.
"Looks like it."
Pepper, who was still processing everything, exhaled sharply and rubbed her temples.
Rhodey shook his head, muttering, "I swear, if one more weird thing happens tonight—"
Meanwhile, Lucifer and Mazikeen were still entirely absorbed in their own conversation.
Mazikeen huffed, finally making her declaration.
"Alright," she said, throwing up her hands, "I won the bet, so we're going drinking."
Lucifer visibly soured.
Mazikeen grinned.
"And I've already decided," she continued, watching him like a cat watching a trapped mouse.
Lucifer narrowed his eyes. "Maze…"
"We're going to the cheapest," she said, enjoying every moment of his suffering, "crowdiest dive bar I can find."
Lucifer clutched at his chest, horrified. "Maze, no."
"Oh, yes."
"Not one of those bars," he whined.
"The ones that play sports?"
Lucifer visibly recoiled. "Sports?" He let out a tragic sigh, dramatically rubbing his temples. "Maze, you wouldn't."
Mazikeen smirked. "Oh, I absolutely would."
Lucifer weakly attempted to sway her.
"Now, darling, let's not be rash," he said, turning his most charming smile on her. "Surely, we can find somewhere a bit more refined—"
"Nope."
"Somewhere with aged whiskey and decent lighting—"
"Nope."
"Perhaps a lounge with—"
"I won," she cut him off, grinning widely. "So I get to pick."
Lucifer groaned.
Mazikeen patted his shoulder. "Suck it up, boss. You're drinking cheap beer tonight."
Lucifer pouted, genuine misery creeping into his expression.
This was cruelty.
Tony, watching all of this, finally snapped.
"Okay, enough," he said loudly, rubbing his face. "I am so done with this conversation."
Lucifer, still suffering, turned toward him with a sigh of long-suffering patience.
"Ah, yes," he drawled. "The genius billionaire finally speaks."
Tony leveled him with a flat stare. "Yeah, and I've got questions."
Lucifer grinned.
"Well then," he said smoothly, "by all means—ask away."
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