I decided to take a quick shower and head out to clear my head and basically be as far away as I can from my mother and that household. I took a walk to the library because it's my favorite quiet place and no one can bother me and I can easily ignore anyone that I don't know, It's my safe space and my own sweet little Heaven plus it's not that far from my house, more or less 20 min walk.
I head inside and quickly went to my favorite section which is filled with romance books. I skim through the random books until my eye caught one book with just a black cover page 'weird' I thought to myself. I wondered who will ever want to read such a book .
"It's a nice book", someone said besides me
My mind was too focused on the book I didn't even notice that there was a whole stranger next to me. I have a tendency of zoning out a lot, ' ADHD chronicles'. I turned to look at the person and it was girl, I thought this was gonna be some romantic type of shit you see in the movies but I got humbled so quickly by reality 'perfect' I said in a sarcastic tone in my head.
"Hello? are you okay? you have been staring at me for a while now", she chuckled.
'great, I zoned out again and now she's gonna think I'm weird or some kind of freak . I wish I had more control over my thoughts'
"sorry, I was just trying to process what you said...uhm you said it's a nice book, have you read it before?". 'of course she has dumbass, what a way to make the first impression', I thought to myself.
" yes, twice. It's more of dark romance, that will explain the whole plain black cover " she said
I'm not the type of person to have small talk with so I needed to think of a way to end the conversation and go read a book in peace
"great, I guess I'll try it out and see". 'Awkward' well that will be my cue to leave her
"I'll just take this and go find somewhere to read... Uhm bye" I waved awkwardly
"wait, do you mind if I join you?", she gave me a shy smile.
I don't even know her yet she wants to 'hang out' with me or whatever that is. I might be a serial killer or something but I guess it's fine since she's also a girl, I mean I don't have many girlfriends let alone 'friends' because I usually either isolate myself or chill with a few guys here and there but other than my best friend and closest friend which are the two people I have in my life I don't have other friends that live nearby me.
I have no other choice than to agree to her and besides I won't die, right?. You know what, on second thoughts I don't wanna pretend to enjoy having a conversation with someone or in the mood to hang out with someone. I just need some alone time right now
"sorry, but I wanna be alone right now so I hope you understand", I say looking down to not see the disappointment in her face
"no, that's alright. I guess I'll see you around" she said
'see me around..' I don't remember seeing someone like her in the neighborhood, not that I'll know or something because I'm always indoors but it doesn't matter, at least I finally have the chance to be alone.
Time went by so fast while I was sitting and reading the book I got recommended for, 'I wonder who she is, I never asked her name' I thought to myself. Oh well, it's not like I'm gonna see her again or something like that. She was right it was a really nice book even though I couldn't finish it therefore I'll be bringing it with me home. I get up to go to the reception to see if I can borrow the book or not, there goes my social anxiety awaking at the wrong time.
"Hi, I was wondering if ..I could borrow this book?"
I nervously asked the lady, she seemed nice, petite with medium length black hair. She must be in her 20s or something because of her facial features and also with the amount of make-up on her face says it all.
"sure, I just need your ID for verification then we are settled" she said with a smile so innocent as a child
I gave her all the details needed and said "thank you" before leaving and started to make my way out the library to head home. It was dusk when I got out therefore there were still people outside some walking their pets and others just doing other stuff.
I never really notice a lot of things, meaning my surroundings because I'm always in my head trying to escape from reality and also I enjoy minding my own business that way nobody will bother me.
While still walking a car stopped on the other side but I didn't pay too much attention to it and continued with my walk home. I was starting to get worried because the same car started to follow me.
'Am I going to be kidnapped or am I just paranoid and the car is not following me'
I asked myself trying not to think of being kidnapped and also calm myself down before I react on instinct and freeze. It would be a bad move if that happened not knowing if the car is following me or not.
I decided to change my pace and walked faster, I just wanted to get home at this point. I kept glancing back to check the car and if it's on my tale and suddenly the car stopped a few inches behind me 'perfect, I can run now and they won't catch me' I thought to myself preparing to run as fast as I can to save my life when suddenly I hear a voice I've heard before.
"Hey, want a ride?"