MALACHAI
I lay there, my body sinking into the soft mattress, the scent of Ezra's hair filling my lungs. He was warm against me, his breath steady, his fingers curled lightly on my chest as if he didn't want to let go, even in his sleep. If only this moment could last forever. If only we could stay like this, untouched by the cruel world outside that waited to tear us apart.
I lifted a shaky hand and traced the delicate curve of his cheekbone, committing every detail to memory, the way his lashes fanned over his bruised skin, the faint crease between his brows even in sleep, as if his body had learned to never fully rest. I hated that. Hated that Lucius had carved fear into him so deeply that even now, in my arms, he couldn't truly relax. I wanted to erase all of it. I wanted to take every scar, every wound, and make it mine instead. But it was too late for that, wasn't it?
I swallowed hard. My body was screaming at me….my shoulder throbbed where the bullet had grazed it, my ribs ached from the relentless beating I took earlier, and my vision blurred at the edges. I knew I should get up. Should check my wounds, clean myself up before I bled all over the sheets. But I couldn't move. Not yet. Not when Ezra was right here, curled up beside me, safe…for now.
I brushed a strand of his silken hair behind his ear, my fingers lingering, tracing the shell of it. He stirred, murmuring something incoherent, pressing closer to me as if seeking warmth. My chest clenched painfully.
"I love you," I whispered. The words spilled from my lips before I could stop them, raw and desperate.
I hadn't meant to say it aloud. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But the moment it slipped out, I knew it was the truth. And fuck, it scared me.
Because love meant weakness.
Because love meant giving Lucius something else to destroy.
I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes, pressing my forehead against Ezra's, listening to his steady breathing. If Lucius found out… No, when Lucius found out… What would he do? I shuddered to think of it. I'd already seen how far he was willing to go to break Ezra. I couldn't, wouldn't let that happen again. But how was I supposed to protect him when I was barely holding myself together?
The room spun, the edges of my vision darkening. My body was shutting down, drained from the blood loss, the pain, the weight of everything I had endured tonight. Still, I fought against the exhaustion, forcing my eyes to stay open. Because if I let go now, what if I never woke up again? What if this was the last time I ever got to hold him?
No. I couldn't think like that.
I reached for Ezra's hand, intertwining my fingers with his. His skin was soft against mine, a stark contrast to my calloused, bloodstained hands.
"I'll keep you safe," I mumbled, barely above a whisper. "No matter what it takes."
I wasn't sure if I was speaking to him or to myself. Maybe both. Maybe it was a promise, or maybe it was just a desperate plea to whatever cruel gods were watching over us. But even as I said it, even as I forced the words past my lips, I felt my body giving up.
A sharp pain lanced through my chest, stealing my breath. My vision tunneled, the darkness creeping in faster now, swallowing the room, swallowing Ezra, swallowing everything.
No. Not yet. I couldn't leave him. Not now.
I fought to stay awake, but my body had other plans. My grip on Ezra's hand loosened, my head tilting back against the pillows as the world around me faded into nothing.
And then….
Everything went black.