"Ohhhhh, this girl, eh! Dem born you, born lateness?" I shouted to her as I stood by her door, I had already knocked a few times. This girl was slower than a snail in a race with a slug.
"Chelụ gọdụ na! Ah ah! Haba! This girl you too dey do o, you too like school bịkọ, Tụfịá!" Wetin dey this school self wey you... Abeg, enter come help me clip this stuff joor," I shake my head as I head over to go help her.
"Abeg do fast na, you dey wear red inside white shirt, wahala no dey ever finish for you my sister," I say as I move outside, "Fast abeg."
"Forget that thing, jare, this school uniform sef, e no dey ever disturb you? Guy, white shirt with black and white polka dot skirt, it's bound to get a bit of dirt, I hate it. But you're right, sha, I'm going to go change, wait o, in short come help me again."
I roll my eyes as I move inside, "na Onyebuchi high, leave them jare, you sef no be you dey do yourself? Today you're on Ebube's laps stroking his beard, I dey pity am dey call am beard sef, his one string, next, you're on Chiedozie's laps in the A class kissing his forehead, let me not talk of Kuami that Ghana boy in ss1..."
"What's your point now, Ngozi?"
"My point is that when you're jumping from one guy to another, including your juniors, why would your white not stain..."
"It's like you don't know how to talk, na?"
"Ahh, Chi, na today you know? even Obieze, nna m told me..."
"Ngozi, enter and do something for me, joor, ịnọdụ nọ ịná kọyelị, you'll be comfortable talking nonsense this stupid child,"
"Why you dey date your junior, you old pass am o!"
"Ehen, age is just a number!" I stare at her a while, shake my head, and enter to help her out with her stuff.
"I don dey go o abeg Chidera," I say as I use the door.
"Ehyaaa, wait for me na baby, see I'm just wearing my last socks, wait!" She runs out and signals at me as she begins forcing her legs into her socks and school sandals. I'm almost at the gate when she, grabbing her stuff in a haste is after me, I turn to her and hiss. I like to be out of the house by 7:30 am, the second hour of the day.
"Aunty principal, Órí akụ nwaanyị anyị, I'm sorry, it won't happen again o?" She teases as she catches up with me.
I hiss and try to walk even faster, I forgot she was a lot faster than me in walking but not in running, for some reason.
Soon enough, we get to school, asides the cleaners performing their paid duties, the buildings were relatively quiet, we were that early, all thanks to yours truly.
We quickly make our way to the classroom to drop our bags, do our assignments, and chill, waiting for the morning assembly.
"Omo Ngozi, you don do your biology assignment?"
"No naaa, na wetin I tell you say I wan do you forget?"
"Na true," she says as she clings to me, "I don tire o."
"Chi, people talk about things especially new and unusual for like max, two to three weeks before they eventually get bored and move on to something else, unfortunately getting used to it immediately even if it's to their detriment. It is simply the reason why those at the top, the elites, the powers that be, those who are substantiated by the religious texts as the fallen angels, hmhm, so they invest a lot of money on propaganda for self aggrandizement and service and even more on poisoning us and our foods mentally and physically... So what am I saying? People no really too send you for here..." I burst out laughing as she gives me "the look."
"E be like say you no sabi talk?" She remarks.
I smile, "You, e be like say you no like this small morale I dey locate come your side... Oya I don dey go inside."
"Na Amadioha wey go soon senge menge you now," She says as she bodies me out the way to head inside the class but suddenly halts to a stop.
"See, dey well o... Wetin be dat, what's in there...?" I move to the door and equally halt at the sight of what was before us.
"Urm hm!" Chidera scoffs, and the two girls shocked, rearrange themselves, straightening up.
"I don't even... I don't even know... I don't even... Ah!"
"Nne, girl, calm down," Chidera says, leading me to a seat and turns to face them.
"Ehm, Nneka," Nneka barely looks at her face as she's clearly shaken. Her partner is chewing gum with reckless abandon, I smirk with my fists tightly clenched, "Jess, Jessica, how far una na? You babes are in Naija o, na Naija una dey o, how far una na?"
I spring up sharply, "Omo, see who we dey follow talk, she dey do like say she no really send us, eh Chidera?"
"Funny enough, I'm not acting like it, I really don't care," We stare at each other eyeball to eyeball for a while."
"See, I hate people like you! You think your dad will save you every time? Like see this babe o, Jess, you dey fuck up o!"
"Like for crying out loud, if it was someone else the principal for don hear am... Nne, you girls are kissing? This is Nigeria. Did you forget about the 14-year imprisonment sentence implemented by Ebelechiukwu Goodluck Jonathan against the LGBTQ community? See, the prison system of the regions no be here make una dey nice o."
"Please, girls, biko, calm down for us, eh? Na mistake, it's a mistake, I'm serious, please I don't want no one to expell me abeg," Nneka goes on her knees before Chidera and proceeds to move to me, "Girls please, abeg!"
I look to Jess who arises with her bottle of water and jejely sipping it, moves to the window overlooking the next compound. "See Jess, Nneka, look, I got no problem with whatever you were doing, we all got freedom of choice I know so and all but do not forget that there are haters all around, had it been it were someone else who had entered in the process, it will be a whole different story right now, Nneka bịkọ stand up, I'm not your ancestors abeg," I turn to Jess, "Jessica, arrogance, it ain't nice..."
"Which one be arrogance?" Jess attacks me.
"Jess, calm down!" Nneka calls at her.
"Abeg!" Jess cautions and walks out the classroom nonchalantly. I shake my head slowly as Chidera stands disappointed and Nneka arises remorsefully.
"Guys, please, don't mind Jess, I'll get to her later," Nneka assures us, "And most importantly, guys, please, I'm sorry, thank you."
"No wahala abeg," Chidera says.
"See, no wahala, your body, your choice, and whatever but most importantly just... we're not in boarding school system or anything. This is day school, you guys can do whatever in y'all's rooms at home, abeg!"
"Ok, I've heard, dáàlụ nụ, let me go and check up on her abeg."
"Ok o, be careful o, the prison system is nothing to write home about," I say, and as Nneka races after her, I continue, "It's disgusting that humans in the name of criminals and offenders, valuable human resources as they are, are locked up and are busy rotting away while the people are hungry and starving and the economy is steady dwindling and diminishing," Chidera sits down on the desk and pulls out her phone as I continue, "It would be to our benefit if we as a region chase aggressive agrarian policies instead of depending on crude oil alone, the people won't drink just the oil, they gats chop on a steady and yes, since there are people are with the belief that 'rules were made to be broken' those people who will intentionally or unintentionally commit these crimes are put to good use to the benefit of the communities, yes! And instead of locking them up, you turn the prisons into something of a lodge or a hostel securely and heavily protected by our top notch law enforcement agents, with free feeding and healthcare as they are now treated as workers of the community, they will be top beneficiaries of their own human labour, male and lady."
"Hmmhm," Chidera adds as I pause a bit.
"So for the number of years they're sentenced to 'the farm,' yes it will now be referred to as 'being sentenced to the farms,' so for the number of years they'll be sentenced to the farms by the courts they will work in various farms, industries and other state owned manual labor institutions across the regions like road and building construction, and what not till their release at which they will instantly be handed a permanent job on one of their work sites, you get?" I stare at her a bit as she's focused on her phone. She realizes the silence and looks up to me with a smile.
"What?"
"Chi, you're not paying attention o," She chuckles a bit.
"I'm broke of attention, I broke, I no get money, I no fit pay attention," she says, staring at me a bit till we both suddenly burst out laughing.
"Continue abeg," She says.
"Listen o," I say and continue, "so in that way, their punishment will benefit the people as a whole because remember how our parents used to punish us, na?"
"Hmm, hm, yes na, mpịáwà azụ!"
"No, like when we do something na, we're punished by being told to sweep the house for a week, doing the dishes for like a month alone and all others of similarities, so you see? Things that'll benefit the family or rather the communities as a whole. Not locking them up and giving them free food and free Healthcare of which the service is below the bare minimum as the country and it's citizens are barely scrapping by, then they realize the prison houses or correctional facilities can't hold vast amounts of body no longer and a few are selected, shot, and their bodies are thrown away or burnt so space can be created for more inmates."
"I'm telling you, seriously, like a prison house allocated for 1500 inmates created by the British during colonial rule to house rebellious slaves and revolutionary voices now house three to four thousand inmates at once..."
"Aswear my sister."
"I'm coming, let me answer momsie," She says as she makes her out.
"Ok na, oya na," I bring out my notebooks. "Make I sharp do Ichie Ndọkwa's assignment before that guy go do me anyhow abeg."
"Omo some people dey take risk sha," Chidera says as she reenters.
"I swear, but what did mommy want, na?"
"Oh, she just wanted to check where I had dropped something."
"Ok, sha how far, you don do Ndokwa assignment?"
"Na wetin I wan do, siddon may we run am," She sits down and hands me her book.
"As your slave abi wetin?" She laughs, slapping my shoulder in the process.
"No be you sabi all about the Trans Atlantic slave trade abi wetin?"
"So does that make me...? Abegi, so, wetin you reason about Jess and Nneka?" I ask my friend. She puts down her phone.
"See, I'm an ally."
"Yeah, me too."
"But... see sef, I don't mind whatever they were doing, but at least in their rooms na, abeg, I don't know why these our classmates thrive on controversy."
"I swear!"
"But the bi... forget! I no get your strength, but they gats calm down sha, that one concern them..." As she was still talking, Ogechi hits her stick at the door to get our attention.
"Ladies, it's time for assembly o," She says to us with her usual charming smile.
"Good morning Snr... Oge," Chidera calls out to her.
"Eh, fine girl, how are you doing today na?"
"I'm fine o."
She turns to me, "The historian herself, Imhotep first daughter, Nefertiti's grand mother, Amina of Zaria's god daughter..."
"SP be calming down abeg!" I say to her with a chuckle, she wouldn't stop calling me 'the historian' ever since I performed a history presentation at the morning assembly that one time in jss3.
"But isn't it the truth?" She replies, "I sometimes wonder how two of you's link up even began because your talkative and boring historical..." She turns to me squarely, "How far, you know history is boring to our generation and majority don't like that stuff even though you believe that we all need it," I nod in agreement.
"Painful but true."
"You see? So how she with her gen zness and your 1980sness came together..."
"We can be united in diversity I guess," she equally nods in agreement, "I sure did which we all knew that because that's the problem with Africa, the external forces are using our leaders which they imposed on us to keep us divided in our diversity."
"Abi?, sha so, assembly na," she says hitting her stick on the desk.
"Ok, we're coming, it's like 7 minutes more na," Chidera says over her phone.
"But no forget, the early bird gets the worm I'm sure you've heard," Ogechi says.
"Abi, oya na, we're coming," I say and as Ogechi makes to leave someone approaches the door the hitting his stick twice as thick as hers on the door, narrowly missing missing her eyes.
"Bia Kenechi, I'm very sure eyes don't have duplicate, no scientist so far has been able to make an artificial eye and I'm sure that if they were finally able to, 90% of our citizens won't be able to afford it because of the economic hardship of this region of the motherland despite our vast and rare resources and whatever, so Kenechi, biko! My eyes!"
"Ooooo, because of small SP wey dem manage give you you dey run me big grammar, Abegi, resti joor."
"I'm sure the entire school is aware of how much you did just because of this 'small' SP," she air quotes the small for emphasis as we smile, "If you were given the opportunity, you would suck ori aku's toes just for this 'small' post, so rest joor!"
"What are you guys still doing here, you people should run downstairs immediately!" He diverts his annoyance to us and we quickly pack up our stuffs so we can move but Oge calms us down.
"How far, Kenechi, you're aware that this is the time we're supposed to be studying for the JAMB, WAEC and NECO and we're chasing these ones whom to... soon, they'll take away our positions, our such revered posts and positions and hand it to them, so please let's be nice."
"Sha, them never commot am, so we still have every right to tear their back..." Ogechi turns to us and signals us to go please. She murmurs a 'sorry' at us as we move, and I shake my head with a smile.
This was the reason why at long last, Ogechi Ginika Okpala was our senior prefect, our fuhrer, our duce, our student president, and not the long expected Kenechi whatever his name is.
"Ogechi, abeg wait," I call upon her as she comes from the classroom with Kenechi behind her.
"Be like say una dey craze, no be una I just hala make una go assembly?" He barks at us.
"How far Kenechi be calming down, you're pouring me saliva, rest o," She replies him.
"See Ogechi," he stares at her a bit embittered, snaps his fingers and moves on.
"Like see this guy o, because of small high school post that will soon be taken from us, this guy is really not ok," We giggle under our breath, "So why are you ladies calling upon me?"
"When are they sharing post?" Chidera asks.
"Chidera, how e take concern you?"
"Leave me, jare!"
"That's not my place," She replies.
"How far na, Senior prefect like you?" Ogechi stares at her a bit, "Ehen na."
"It's like you ladies are not serious!" She turns to move, and I grab her arm.
"See, no vex o, this is not the reason we called you abeg, no vex, em, I don't know if you saw what Esther posted yesterday," She stares at us in bewilderment.
"Ahhhh, so it's even you sef Chidera! Ehyaaa Chidera sorry o," She sympathizes with us.
"Yes, that's the reason we called you sef, I don't know if you can do anything about it?" I say to her, she laughs out loud, I believe it's in mockery of us but we can't tell, "Why are you laughing?"
"Because you believe that anyone can do anything to her," She chuckles again, "Her father, commissioner of sports and youth development, and equally senior special advicer to the regional district head. Her father, a top investor in our school and as said, is a very dignified and indispensable member of the schools board of directors, so she's basically and practically untouchable, not even the principal, even the ori aku can't do anything about it soooo, you're request is..."
"So she's like going to get away with it?" Chidera queries clearly hurt.
"Chi, Chi baby be calming down na," I caution Chidera.
"See, Chidera, forget about it. You really can't do nothing about it because of her father and his enormous influence in this school, not to talk of..."She chuckles again, "How far, her mom's scholarships and what not, how far, you can't but I'll try and talk... What am I saying sef, she has never listened to me not that she'll start today, look Chidera, Ngozi, just be steady avoiding her, it's hard I know but that's the only way, after all, less than thirteen months and you'll never be close to her for the rest of your life, ah! No reason the girl abeg, abi her and those her minions, they'll soon meet their Waterloo, no Wahl."
I turn to Chidera, she pulls up her phone as if to check the time and drops it again, "Abi? Chi, see no reason am na, you don hear Ogechi na?" She shrugs and begins to walk away, "Afar, baby," I make to haste after her but Ogechi pulls me back.
"She's clearly upset, give her some space abeg, she'll get over it, see the students are steady arriving in their masses, I think it's time you ss2 learn how to be in charge, after all, it's first term already."
"Abi? No be lie," I reply and proceed to follow her steadily.