Daily Meme
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As we headed back to the lockers, everyone was talking about the training exercise. Bakugo was still fuming. Sero and Kaminari kept nudging him, making side comments, and Todoroki had said just enough to piss him off without actually trying. I tuned most of it out, stretching my arms as we walked.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mineta.
He was standing suspiciously close to the wall, his stubby little fingers gripping a slightly misaligned poster. Behind it, a small hole. A hole that led directly into the girls' locker room.
Shoji saw it at the same time I did. He was already rolling up his sleeves.
I put a hand on his arm. "Wait."
Mineta, the dumbass, was whispering to himself. "Girls' locker room… Beyond this hole is the girls' locker room…"
Shoji stopped, looking at me. I waved him to take it easy. "Let Jiro handle it. She is listening already."
He glanced toward the wall, then nodded. His arms relaxed, but his eyes stayed on Mineta. I crossed my arms, waiting.
Mineta, still oblivious, pressed his face closer to the hole. His fingers twitched, the perverted gremlin probably thinking he hit the jackpot.
Then it happened.
A sharp scream. A crackle of electricity. Then, a sudden SHINK.
Mineta howled, yanking back from the hole, hands clutching his face. He stumbled, legs flailing, and fell onto his back. "MY EYE! MY FUCKING EYE!"
Jiro's voice carried through the wall. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, CREEP!"
Mineta rolled on the floor, feet kicking uselessly. "I CAN'T SEE! OH GOD, I SEE NOTHING BUT PAIN!"
Kirishima blinked. "Damn."
Sero tilted his head. "He kinda deserved that."
"No 'kinda' about it," Kaminari said. "That was karma in real-time."
Shoji crouched down, prying Mineta's hands away. His eye wasn't bleeding, but there were a small puncture on his eyelid, slightly red. Not deep, but definitely enough to make him regret existing.
Shoji stood back up. "He will live."
Mineta groaned. "No… this is the end… I see the light…"
Todoroki stared. "You're looking at the ceiling."
Mineta weakly reached out. "Tell my future wife I love her…"
I crouched down, pushing his hand aside. "You don't have one."
Aoyama sighed dramatically. "Truly, a tragic downfall."
"Tragic?" I scoffed. "That dumbass thought he could peep in the middle of a hero school full of people with super senses and still get away with it."
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Fucking dumbass."
Izuku looked at Mineta, then the hole. "How did he think this was going to end well?"
"He didn't," Jiro said from the other side. "Because he's stupid."
Hagakure added, "And disgusting!"
Yaoyorozu's voice followed, sharp. "You do realize we could report this, right?"
Mineta shot up. "WAIT, NO—"
I grabbed him by the collar, dragging him back down. "Shut up. You're in no position to argue."
Iida adjusted his glasses. "Midoriya, I understand you want to handle this, but should we not take this to a teacher?"
"We could," I said, "but then we have to sit through another lecture about 'class unity' and 'forgiveness' and all that nonsense."
Kirishima scratched his chin. "So, what? We just let it slide?"
"Oh, hell no," I said. "We're dealing with this our way."
Mineta paled. "Our way?"
I clapped his shoulder. "Oh, don't worry. We won't do anything extreme." I turned to the others. "Gentlemen, I think Mineta here needs some hands-on experience in why being a pervert is a terrible idea."
Kaminari grinned. "Like a lesson?"
"Exactly." I cracked my knuckles. "But an interactive one."
Mineta swallowed. "H-Hold on, let's talk about this—"
Too late. Sero and Shoji grabbed him. He flailed, but resistance was useless. He was five feet of nothing.
Iida sighed. "I will pretend I do not see this."
Todoroki watched. "Are we making an example out of him?"
"Oh, absolutely."
Kirishima crossed his arms. "As long as it's not too much, I'm in."
Bakugo smirked. "Tch. As long as I get to blow something up, I don't care."
We carried Mineta out of the locker room and straight to Ground Beta. He kept struggling, but the moment Shoji lifted him into the air, he gave up.
"Please, I am but a fragile boy! Have mercy!"
"No," I said. "You lost mercy privileges when you tried peeping."
We stopped at an open field. Mineta was still suspended by Shoji, his little legs dangling.
I turned to the group. "Alright. Ideas?"
Sero grinned. "How about some target practice?"
Mineta screamed. "WAIT—"
Todoroki shrugged. "Ice slide. Send him down and see if he learns balance."
Kirishima nodded. "Ooo, or push-ups with a time limit! Every time he stops, we add more."
Kaminari snapped his fingers. "Electric tag."
Mineta kicked. "PLEASE, I LEARNED MY LESSON!"
"No, you learned what getting stabbed in the eyes feels like," I said. "You haven't learned not to be a pervert."
Bakugo cracked his knuckles. "Drop him in a river."
Iida sighed. "That's attempted murder."
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Tch. Fine. Drop him in a dumpster."
Mineta sobbed. "YOU GUYS ARE MONSTERS!"
"You are the monster," I corrected. "We're just the consequences."
Shoji finally dropped him. He landed face-first in the dirt.
I crouched beside him. "Alright, let's make this simple. You're running laps. You stop, Bakugo blasts you forward."
Mineta whimpered. "This is inhumane."
"Oh, you think this is inhumane?" I gestured to Bakugo. "He wanted to drown you."
Bakugo shrugged. "Still do."
Mineta yelped and scrambled up.
Kirishima clapped. "Alright, ready?"
"No," Mineta said.
I grinned. "Go."
Mineta ran.
Bakugo grinned, lifting his hand. "I'M STILL GONNA BLAST HIM."
And he did.
Several times.
By the end of it, Mineta was lying flat on the ground, wheezing. "Please… no more…"
Sero leaned down. "You done being a creep?"
Mineta coughed. "Yes… never again…"
I patted his head. "Good. Now, if you ever try this again…" I glanced at Bakugo. "I'll let him drown you next time."
Mineta sobbed.
Punishment complete.
Back in class, Aizawa announced that summer was coming up, and none of us were considered human enough to enjoy it. Instead, we were getting dumped in a forest for a "training camp." Most of the class seemed excited—probably because suffering in the wilderness still beat dealing with their parents.
"Forest lodge, huh?" Kaminari leaned back. "Bet it's gonna be chill vibes, bonfires, s'mores—"
Aizawa didn't even look up. "No."
"Aw, man."
Yaoyorozu clapped her hands. "A summer camp sounds productive! We can refine our abilities in a controlled—"
"Not controlled," Aizawa interrupted. "You'll be in the wilderness."
Hagakure wiggled her sleeves. "Like, actual wilderness? With bugs and stuff?"
Jiro elbowed her. "And you're invisible. They'll crawl all over you."
Hagakure gasped. "That's evil."
Sero stretched. "So, what, we're getting thrown into the woods and told to get stronger?"
"Pretty much," Aizawa confirmed.
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Tch. Long as we get actual combat training, I don't give a shit."
"Does this at least come with food?" I asked. "Or are we about to be living off nuts and berries?"
Aizawa looked at me. "Meals will be provided."
"Yeah, but good ones?"
"Depends on how well you perform."
Kirishima grinned. "Sounds like survival training!"
Mineta groaned. "Sounds like suffering."
"As if you were gonna survive anyway," Tokoyami muttered.
Izuku scribbled in his notebook. "This could be a great chance to see how much we've improved since internships."
Todoroki nodded. "As long as the training is effective."
Iida adjusted his glasses. "And we will have pro heroes supervising, correct?"
Aizawa crossed his arms. "Yes. But don't rely on that. This is meant to push you."
Ojiro tapped his desk. "So we're fighting… what? The wilderness? Each other?"
Aizawa paused just long enough for it to be ominous.
"Both," he finally said.
Kaminari groaned into his desk. "We're gonna die."
Mina leaned toward me. "How do you think this'll go?"
I shrugged. "First day's easy, second day's worse, third day's hell, fourth day's a near-death experience, and the last day's some bullshit endurance test."
She blinked. "Damn, that was specific."
"Experience."
Uraraka perked up. "Oh! Do we get to swim? Since it's summer and all?"
Aizawa raised a brow. "If you finish training early."
"Neat," I said. "Can't wait for that whole five-minute break before we're thrown back into suffering."
Sero scratched his head. "Man, I just hope we don't have to fight, like, wolves or something."
Tokoyami nodded. "Nature is unpredictable."
Shoji added, "It won't be just nature. If they're pushing us, they'll set up controlled challenges, too."
"Great," I muttered. "So it's not just hunger and exhaustion. We're fighting the teachers too."
Kirishima grinned. "Makes it more exciting!"
"That's one word for it."
Mineta raised a hand. "Question! Sleeping arrangements?"
Aizawa stared at him. "Dorms."
Mineta frowned. "That's not what I meant."
Aizawa sighed. "Boys and girls will be separate."
Mineta groaned. "Boooo."
Jiro threw an eraser at his head.
Aizawa continued, ignoring him. "This camp is meant to push your quirks under harsher conditions. Expect to go beyond your limits."
"Define 'limits,'" I said.
Aizawa met my eyes. "The point where you think you can't keep going."
I nodded. "Ah. So pain."
"Yes."
Sero tilted his head. "And if we tap out?"
"You won't."
"Neat."
Bakugo grinned. "Tch. Sounds like a real challenge.
Yaoyorozu was already making a list. "We'll need to pack efficiently. Limited space means only essentials."
Mina tapped her chin. "So… no hair curlers?"
Yaoyorozu looked horrified. "Absolutely not!"
I leaned toward her. "So I should leave my entire wardrobe of silk pajamas at home?"
She looked even more horrified. "Why do you even have that?"
I shrugged. "I enjoy luxury."
My bastard brother chimed in from the side, then grimaced like he had seen something horrible. "He is lying. He sleeps naked."
I turned and stared at him. "You absolute snitch."
Izuku shuddered. "It's a curse, Ryuu. A curse."
Mina gasped. "Wait, wait—like, full-on naked?"
Iida, horrified, adjusted his glasses. "Midoriya, this is highly inappropriate!"
Jiro deadpanned, "Yeah, no one needed to know that."
Sero leaned back. "Bro just rawdogs sleep? That's wild."
Todoroki looked up. "Doesn't that get cold?"
"I have blankets," I said.
Yaoyorozu still looked disturbed. "But what if there's an emergency? What if you need to evacuate?"
"Then I'm making the news for a different reason."
Bakugo scoffed. "Tch. What's wrong with you?"
"Plenty."
Mina was still stuck on the first part. "So, like, every night?"
"Yes, every night."
Jiro sighed. "I regret asking."
Mineta looked way too interested. "Wait, does that mean you just walk around your room—"
Shoji slapped a hand over his head and shoved him aside.
I shrugged. "Look, man, some people sleep in pajamas. I sleep free."
Izuku groaned. "Don't say it like that."
Ojiro tapped his tail against the floor. "Yeah, that's not normal."
"You all sound very concerned about my bedtime routine."
Hagakure huffed. "Because it's weird!"
I turned to her face, or where I assumed it would be. "Lady, you are the last person who should be criticizing my sleep attire. You are a certified exhibitionist. Just that no one can see."
Hagakure gasped. "Excuse me?! I wear clothes!"
"Do you?" I gestured at her uniform floating in the air. "Because last time I checked, your hero costume is just gloves and boots. That's public indecency with extra steps."
"It's strategic!" she shot back. "You think I'm just running around naked for fun?"
"Yes."
She sputtered. "I—I have a uniform!"
Jiro leaned back. "Yeah, but if you ever wanna go full stealth, you just strip."
"It's for hero work!"
"So, what I'm hearing," Kaminari grinned, "is that Ryuu sleeps like he's a professional stealth operative."
I pointed at him. "Exactly. See? Someone gets it."
"That's not what I meant," Hagakure groaned.
Kirishima scratched his head. "I mean, you kinda just confirmed it, though."
Hagakure waved her arms. "That is completely different! I am invisible!"
"And that makes it better?"
She froze. "Wait."
Kaminari's grin widened. "So, theoretically, you could be naked right now, and no one would know."
"I'm wearing my uniform!"
Mineta sniffled. "Why am I being punished for appreciating the female form when we have a literal—"
Shoji flicked him. He collapsed.
Yaoyorozu sighed. "Can we move on?"
Sero nodded. "Yeah, we got it. Ryuu sleeps naked, Hagakure fights naked, and Mineta's probably gonna die soon."
Mineta whimpered from the ground. "I hate this class."
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Shut the hell up already."
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