Daily Meme
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I sighed, tilted my head back, and yelled, "Get the fuck back into your rooms before I go medieval on your asses!"
With a loud swish, swish, swish, every curtain in the building slammed shut like a synchronized performance. The curtains shut so fast, you would think I pulled out a flamethrower.
Mina laughed beside me. "That was hot."
I deadpanned. "Everything I do is."
She grinned and leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek before pulling away. "See you, lover boy."
I smirked. "Sure, Bubblegum."
She gave me a little wave, sauntering off toward the entrance like she hadn't just given the whole class enough gossip fuel to last a semester.
I sat on the steps outside the dorms, pulling a cigarette from my inventory. Didn't smoke often, but sometimes it was good. The kind of good that came after a long day, when everything had been too loud, too much, and you just needed a minute.
I rolled it between my fingers before lighting up. The first drag hit like a slow exhale after holding your breath too long. The smoke curled up into the night, disappearing like it had better things to do.
The door behind me clicked open. Someone stepped out.
"The hell are you doing?" Bakugo's voice, sharp as ever.
"Thinking," I said, taking another drag.
"Tch." He stepped closer, standing just off to my side. "Since when do you smoke?"
I exhaled through my nose. "Since it pisses you off, apparently."
Bakugo clicked his tongue but didn't say anything. He didn't leave either.
The door opened again. Kaminari and Kirishima came out, still half in whatever conversation they were having before they noticed us.
"Oh shit, Ryuu smokes?" Kaminari snorted. "Damn, I didn't know we had a cool guy in the dorms."
Kirishima squinted at the cigarette. "That shit's bad for you, man."
"No shit." I tapped the ash off the end.
Bakugo crossed his arms. "Like it's gonna do worse than all the other dumb shit he pulls."
Kaminari plopped down next to me. "Man, what a day."
"You barely did anything," I said.
He held a hand to his chest like I stabbed him. "Wow. I was emotionally invested."
"Uh-huh."
Kirishima sat on my other side, resting his arms on his knees. "Still, provisional licenses, man. We can actually do real hero work now."
I flicked my cigarette. "We could always do real hero work. Now it's just legal."
Bakugo scoffed. "Doesn't change anything."
Kaminari leaned back on his hands. "I dunno, man. Feels different. Like, before, if we stepped in, we were just kids helping out. Now, it's official."
Kirishima nodded. "Yeah, it's kinda crazy. Just a few months ago, we were taking entrance exams."
I pressed the cigarette to the ground and flicked it toward the trash can. It missed. Whatever. Not my problem. I got up, stretching my arms over my head. "Let's go. Tomorrow's the Opening Ceremony. Nezu's probably gonna bore us to death. That sadistic rodent would enjoy it too much."
Kaminari groaned, rubbing his face. "Dude, if it's another four-hour speech, I'm dropping out."
Kirishima snorted. "You wouldn't last a week outside U.A."
"Oh yeah? I would just become a pro gamer. Easy money."
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Yeah, if getting electrocuted was a viable career."
Kaminari frowned. "Okay, rude."
--
The next morning, everything was too loud. Not because anything was actually happening—just because waking up sucked. My alarm was beeping, birds were too enthusiastic about existing, and someone was already shouting down the hall like we weren't all suffering.
I cracked one eye open, glared at the ceiling, then reached over and slammed the alarm off. Didn't help. The birds were still outside my window, screaming about their bird problems.
I shoved the window open and yelled, "Can you call for mating quietly? Fuck, I know you want to impress, but we are sleeping here!"
The birds didn't give a shit. One of them actually chirped louder. I considered throwing something but settled for flipping them off before shutting the window.
The shouting in the hall didn't stop either. Sounded like Iida was already up and giving some kind of speech, probably about responsibility or being on time. Someone groaned in response. Probably Sero.
I rolled out of bed, cracked my neck, and dragged myself toward the bathroom. A glance in the mirror told me what I already knew... I looked like shit. Messy hair, half-lidded eyes, general aura of 'not awake enough to care.' Perfect.
Brushing my teeth took longer than it should have because I spent half the time zoning out. The only thing that snapped me back was the sound of Bakugo yelling from somewhere down the hall.
"MOVE YOUR ASSES, WE'RE LEAVING IN TEN!"
I spat out the toothpaste. "The hell is this, boot camp?"
By the time I actually got dressed and made it to the common area, most of the class was already there. Some looked awake. Others, not so much.
Kaminari was sprawled over the couch, looking like he wanted to go back to bed. "Who decided morning meetings were a thing?"
Yaoyorozu checked her watch. "Principal did. And it's not a meeting, it's the Opening Ceremony."
Kirishima stretched. "Still feels like a meeting."
Mineta yawned. "Do we really have to go? It's not like we're learning anything new."
Jiro kicked his chair. "Unless you want to be expelled, yeah, you have to go."
Todoroki was already by the door, waiting. Didn't look like he cared about the conversation. Then again, he never did.
Bakugo scowled at the group. "If you extras don't get moving, I'm leaving without you."
I grabbed an apple from the counter, took a bite, and followed them out. The walk to the field wasn't long, but it felt longer with how little energy anyone had.
When we got to yard, Class 1-B was already there, which meant I had to hear them exist. The blonde shit, I never remembered his name, was standing front and center, chest puffed up like he was waiting for someone to acknowledge his presence.
"Class 1-B all passed. What about you?" He was looking at us, probably expecting some kind of reaction.
I kept walking. Not worth my time. But, of course, Mineta decided that bragging on my behalf was the way to go.
"Yeah? Did any of you get 99 points?"
I sighed. Here we go.
A few heads turned. Some of the 1-B students looked over, not sure if Mineta was bullshitting or not. Blonde Guy narrowed his eyes.
"You got 99?"
"Not me," Mineta said, puffing out his tiny-ass chest. "Midoriya."
Blonde's eye twitched, looking at Izuku. "You're saying Midoriya got the highest score?"
Bakugo scoffed. "Not that Deku. This dumbass." He jerked a thumb at me.
A few 1-B students muttered among themselves. Some looked skeptical, some just annoyed. I could already hear the excuses forming in their heads.
Monoma, ah, right, that was his name, huffed, crossing his arms. "Tch. Must've been a mistake."
"Yeah, tell that to the scoreboard," Kaminari said.
Monoma's eye twitched again. "You must've just gotten lucky."
I shrugged. "Believe what you want."
I didn't mind most of Class 1-B, but Monoma was a waste of oxygen. Kendo must've thought the same because her hand was already coming down before he could run his mouth again. A loud smack cut through the air, and he staggered forward, clutching his head like he had just been sniped.
"Why?" he whined, rubbing his skull.
Kendo flexed her fingers. "Because I knew you were about to embarrass us."
Manga, Hairy Iida, Ibara, and Reiko stepped forward, nodding in agreement. Ibara clasped her hands together. "Congratulations!"
Manga's eyes widened. "99 POINTS? THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!"
Mineta, of course, had to make shit weird. He was already motioning his waist back and forth like a degenerate, exaggerating how I insulted Gang Orca's mother. "And then he called his mom a SEA HOE, you should've seen his face!"
"This little shit," I muttered.
Shoji smacked Mineta on the head. "Stop that."
"He's not even lying, though," Kaminari added. "Ryuu was out there acting like he wanted to get murdered."
Monoma scoffed, still trying to find a way to discredit me. "Even if he scored the highest, it just means he was running his mouth the whole time."
I shrugged. "You're right."
He blinked.
I grinned. "And yet, here I am, ranked above you."
His jaw clenched. Kendo smacked him again before he could start. "Nope. We're not doing this."
Jiro sighed. "Can we just go in? I would rather sit through Nezu's speech than deal with whatever this is."
"Yeah, let's get this shit over with," Bakugo muttered.
Nezu raised a paw, all smiles. "Hello! It's me, your beloved tiny mammalian principal!"
Some people chuckled. Most just stared, waiting for whatever speech he had lined up.
"This shit's gonna talk a long-ass time."
"Unbelievably, impossibly long-time?" Kaminari muttered, squinting at him.
I shrugged. "Nezu doesn't sleep. He just plots."
The little bastard kept talking. "A lifestyle thrown out of whack is the worst possible thing you can do for your fur! Be sure to take special care to get enough sleep!"
Mina blinked. "Are we getting a lecture on fur care?"
"I think it's a metaphor," Jiro muttered.
Nezu wasn't stopping. "A well-balanced diet rich in zinc and vitamins is important, but the most important thing of all is sleep!"
"Did we show up to a health seminar?" Sero whispered.
"Well, that was before my lifestyle was thrown away." Nezu's voice dropped slightly. "What's thrown off my lifestyle out of whack is the 'incident' you all know about."
The air shifted. People weren't chuckling anymore.
"The one that happened this summer break," he continued. "The loss of our pillar."
That shut everyone up. A few students shifted, some lowering their gazes. All Might's retirement wasn't exactly fresh news, but hearing it said so plainly still hit hard.
"The effects of that incident have begun to manifest themselves even faster than one could have imagined."
Izuku clenched his fists. No one else spoke.
Nezu went on. "Moving forward, our society likely awaits great difficulties."
No shit.
"For the hero internships that many of you second and third years are engaged with, even more so than ever, it is critical to have an awareness of the crisis and conduct yourselves accordingly."
Tsuyu hummed. "Maybe it's something like the field training we did before…?"
Mina frowned. "Hero internships?"
Nezu nodded toward the hero course students. "Those of you in the Department of Heroes will likely see the most striking effects."
Nezu let out a small chuckle. "My apologies for bringing down the mood with such a heavy topic."
No one responded. What were we supposed to say? 'Nah, it's fine, we love hearing about how society's collapsing'?
His voice carried through the crowd. "But know that right now, the adults out there are doing the best they can to deal with it."
Didn't sound all that reassuring. If they were doing their best, then why did everything still feel like it was hanging by a thread?
"All of you," he continued, "whether from the U.A. staff, the General Department, the Department of Support, or the Department of Heroes…"
His ears flicked. "Do not forget that you are the successors to this society."
Nobody moved. The weight of those words wasn't lost on anyone.
No pressure or anything.
--
Your brain cells hold a roundtable.
Cell A: "They read everything."
Cell B: "They cried at Chapter 75."
Cell C: "They still haven't clicked."
All cells vote to evict you.You now think exclusively in Minions quotes.
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