Daily Meme
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By the time we made it back to the agency, Ryukyu was already waiting. Arms crossed. Disappointed mom stance fully activated.
Nejire whispered, "Uh oh."
Mirko strolled in like we hadn't just caused problems. "Sup, girl!"
Ryukyu inhaled slowly. "Would you like to explain why I just got a call about a civilian getting bodyslammed in broad daylight?"
Mirko waved a hand. "First of all, he wasn't a civilian. He was a criminal. Second, I didn't bodyslam him. I strategically intercepted him."
Ryukyu pinched the bridge of her nose. "Strategic interception."
"Yup."
I chimed in. "To be fair, it worked."
Ryukyu turned to me. "And you. You were supposed to be shadowing."
I nodded. "I was! I shadowed the hell out of her."
Mirko fist-bumped me.
Nejire giggled. "He did keep up!"
Ryukyu groaned. "You are all insufferable."
Mirko stretched. "Aww, c'mon, lighten up. No one died."
"A BENCH DIED."
Mirko clapped a hand on her shoulder. "RIP to the bench, but I am built different."
Ryukyu closed her eyes, muttering something to herself. Probably regretting every decision that led her to this moment.
Finally, she sighed. "I am filing a report. You..." She pointed at me. "You are staying out of trouble."
Mirko and Nejire snickered behind me.
I grinned. "Define trouble."
Ryukyu walked away. "I need a drink."
Nejire beamed. "Soooo, what is next?"
Mirko cracked her neck. "I dunno. Another patrol?"
I rolled my shoulders. "You planning on tackling another dude?"
"Depends. You in?"
Nejire pumped a fist. "Ooo, me too!"
Ryukyu's voice rang from the office. "NO."
Mirko smirked. "Ah well. Worth a shot."
Nejire poked my arm. "Hey, you still haven't told us how your friends are doing!"
I shrugged. "They are alive."
Mirko snorted. "That's a low bar."
"They are still applying for agencies. I started a couple of days early."
–
That night, we got stuck with cleaning duty.
Ryukyu spent three hours on the phone, probably explaining to the police why Mirko had gone feral in the middle of the city. It wasn't exactly rare for her, but apparently, my return had "excited" her into causing extra damage.
Nejire hummed as she wiped the windows. "So, did Chief Tsuragamae yell?"
Ryukyu, still rubbing her temples, sighed. "He asked why Mirko was suddenly more destructive than usual. Then he asked why you were back in the city. Then he sighed for about thirty seconds straight."
I snorted. "He is still mad about the Cum Stain incident, huh?"
Nejire burst out laughing. Ryukyu pinched the bridge of her nose. "That is not what we call it."
"It is what I call it."
Mirko, sweeping broken glass into a dustpan, smirked. "Pretty sure the dog is still pissed you dunked on his whole aesthetic."
I grinned. "What, he didn't like the 'Bark if you hate paperwork' joke?"
"He did not," Ryukyu muttered.
Mirko chuckled. "Man, I should've been there when you sent that meme to him."
"You say that like you wouldn't have just started a fistfight with him."
She shrugged. "Same outcome."
Nejire giggled, floating upside-down to clean a higher window. "Sooo, Ryuu, are you planning on pissing him off again, or is this a rare moment of peace?"
"Depends. Is he still answering my calls?"
Ryukyu shot me a warning look. "Do not call him."
Mirko grinned. "Ohhh, call him."
Nejire clapped. "Yes, do it!"
I pulled out my phone.
Ryukyu sighed.
Mirko and Nejire crowded around as I hit dial. It rang twice before clicking.
A deep, exhausted voice answered. "...What?"
I grinned. "Hey, old man."
There was a long pause. Then a deep inhale. "...Midoriya. Why are you calling me."
"Just wanted to check in. See how you are doing. I worry, you know?"
"You do not."
Nejire was already struggling not to laugh. Mirko covered her mouth, shaking.
"You sound stressed," I continued. "Maybe you should take a break. Have some water. Go for a walk. Chase a car or something."
Mirko lost it. Nejire wheezed.
There was another pause. Then, "Mirko is a bad influence on you."
Mirko grinned. "Aw, thanks, Chief!"
Tsuragamae sighed. "I do not have the energy for this. Do not cause problems while you are here, Midoriya."
"No promises."
The call ended.
Nejire wiped a tear. "That was beautiful."
Ryukyu shook her head with a hidden smile. "You are going to give that poor man a heart attack."
Mirko leaned on the broom. "Eh. He'll live."
We got back to cleaning, the occasional snicker breaking the silence. By the time we finished, it was late.
Ryukyu stretched. "Alright. You are all dismissed. Try not to cause chaos tomorrow."
Mirko clapped a hand on my shoulder. "We will see what Universe cooks."
I grinned. "Translation, we will see how Mirko is feeling."
Nejire yawned. "Alright, bedtime! Night, everyone!"
I waved, heading toward my room. Mirko called after me. "Rest up, brat. We are sparring tomorrow."
Oh, great.
I shut the door behind me, already regretting my life choices.
The next morning, my phone started buzzing way too early for my liking. I groaned, blindly reaching for it and answering without checking the caller ID.
"Whoever this is, you are on thin fucking ice," I muttered.
"Ryuu!" Uraraka's voice rang through the speaker. "Did you escape so you wouldn't have to take me on a date? It is my turn."
I blinked, barely processing before Tsuyu's voice joined in. "Kero. That is true, Ryuu. You promised."
Shit. I forgot about that.
I cleared my throat. "Nah, girl, I was just preparing something good." Total lie.
Uraraka hummed. "Mm-hmm. You better not be running."
"I don't run. I strategically reposition," I shot back, rubbing my eyes. "Why the hell are you two calling me this early?"
Tsuyu got straight to the point. "We want to join Ryukyu's agency."
I sat up. "Oh? And why is that?"
Uraraka answered first. "Well, Ryukyu is amazing, and I think she would be a great mentor! Plus, her focus on rescue work is exactly what I want to improve on."
Tsuyu added, "She is also one of the most experienced pro heroes taking interns. It makes sense to learn from the best."
"Yeah, yeah, all valid reasons," I muttered, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "But why call me? This is something you can handle yourselves."
There was a short pause before Uraraka spoke. "You are working with her, and I figured you would put in a good word."
Tsuyu backed her up. "You know how she is, Kero. She is selective. If you recommend us, we will have a better chance."
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "So, you want me to pull strings."
"Basically!" Uraraka chirped. "C'mon, you owe me."
I frowned. "How the hell do I owe you?"
"You ruined my snacks last week."
I scoffed. "I saved you from eating expired chips."
"I WANTED TO TAKE THAT RISK."
Tsuyu cut in before we got sidetracked. "Will you help or not?"
I sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I will talk to her."
Uraraka cheered. "Nice! Okay, now back to the important part... our date."
"Jesus," I muttered. "You are really keeping track?"
"Of course! I am not letting you skip my turn."
Tsuyu hummed. "Kero. You should be careful, Ryuu. She might take you to the most expensive place she can find."
Uraraka gasped. "I would never... actually, wait, that is a good idea."
I groaned. "I fucking hate you guys."
"No, you don't!" Uraraka sang.
Before I could hang up, Tsuyu spoke again. "Text us when you talk to Ryukyu."
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, ending the call.
I flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. One day off, and I was already getting roped into shit. Great.
When I showed up at Ryukyu's office, she was already at her desk, reviewing reports. She barely looked up when I walked in.
"If you are about to ask me for something outrageous, the answer is no," she said.
I smirked. "That is crazy, 'cause I wasn't even gonna ask for anything."
She finally looked up, raising a brow. "Really."
"Yeah," I said, sitting across from her. "I was gonna tell you something."
She sighed. "What is it?"
"Uraraka and Tsuyu want to intern here."
She didn't react right away, flipping through a few more papers. Then she glanced at me. "And?"
"And I think you should take them," I said.
Ryukyu pulled open a cabinet, grabbed a thick-ass binder, and dropped it onto the desk. The cover said U.A. Current Students in bold letters.
I blinked. "You got a whole dossier on us?"
She flipped it open, found the Class 1-A section, then traced her finger down until she reached Uraraka and Tsuyu. "Of course. Agencies keep records of potential recruits."
I leaned forward. "Can I see my file?"
Without looking up, she said, "I burned it."
I stared. "Damn. Not even a shred left?"
"Nope." She turned a page. "It had a whole section labeled 'Red Flags.'"
I leaned forward. "How many?"
Ryukyu sighed. "Double digits. There was a footnote from Tsuragamae. Something about 'recommending immediate psychiatric evaluation.'"
I grinned. "Man, the dog really loves me."
"That's one way to put it." She didn't look up, skimming through the files. "Uraraka and Asui..." She tapped her fingers on the desk. "Both strong candidates. Their past work with Selkie and Gunhead gives them solid experience in combat and rescue scenarios."
"Yeah, they are solid," I said. "And they won't cause as many problems as me."
Ryukyu gave me a look. "That is not a high bar."
I shrugged. "Still a bar."
She flipped another page, reading over their evaluations. "They are both adaptable. Level-headed. Good teamwork skills. And neither of them have made a pro hero seriously consider retirement."
"Yet," I added.
"Yet," she echoed dryly. She leaned back in her chair. "Honestly, I would've considered them even without your input."
"Then it is settled?"
Ryukyu didn't answer right away, tapping a pen against the desk. "I will make the final call after meeting them."
I frowned. "You got doubts?"
"It is not doubts," Ryukyu said. "I need to be sure they fit. I take interns seriously. If they come here, I want to make sure they grow. Sticking them somewhere just for experience means nothing if it is not the right place for them."
I leaned back in my seat, letting that sit for a second.
"Yeah," I said. "That makes sense."
She glanced at me, eyes narrowing slightly. "You are actually listening?"
I scoffed. "The audacity. I always listen."
Ryukyu didn't even dignify that with a response. Instead, she closed the binder and set it aside. "I will set up a meeting with them. If they fit, they stay. If not, they will have to look elsewhere. But I don't take half-measures. If they join, they commit."
"That's all I ask," I said. Then I stood, bowing slightly. "Thanks, Ryukyu. I know I cause you a lot of shit, but I appreciate what you've done for me."
Ryukyu's eyebrows lifted slightly, like I had just said something that didn't quite compute.
I grinned. "Not admitting I said any of that to anyone, though."
She tilted her head toward the corner of the room. "Too late."
I followed her gaze.
There was a camera. A little red light blinking.
She smiled. "Making memes out of your bending ass."
I stared.
She stared back.
"Motherfucker," I muttered.
--
Barbie: "Hi Ken! Did you vote for Ryuu today?"
Ken: "I… I thought someone else would!"
Barbie: slaps him "You absolute background extra."
Meanwhile…
Oppenheimer stares into the void.
"I have become Death… reader of fanfics… destroyer of authors."
You had the power to prevent this.
All it took…
Was one click.
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