Time Skip 2 years later.
Or at least, that was the plan. The scene was just about to shift forward when, suddenly, a gloved hand shot out from the darkness and grabbed the camera lens, halting the transition mid-motion. The screen shook violently as the unseen figure wrestled control, yanking the view toward himself.
A red mask, black patches around the eyes, and an unmistakable smugness radiating from the figure now staring directly at the audience.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast! Where do you think you're going? Time skip? Pfft, boring. How about we take a little detour, hmm?"
Deadpool adjusted the camera, giving it a few theatrical taps. "Much better. Now then, let's talk."
He leaned back, dramatically placing a hand on his chin. "I know what you're thinking. 'Wade, what the hell are you doing here? This is supposed to be a serious story about mages, time travel, and emotionally stunted billionaires.' And to that, I say… meh. Everything's better with me in it."
He gestured wildly. "I mean, come on! You've got magic, explosions, broody protagonists! But what you didn't have—until now—was a total wildcard that breaks the fourth wall and makes life infinitely more chaotic. But don't worry, folks. I'm not here alone. Oh no. I brought a friend. A very special friend."
Deadpool removed his glove in a grand flourish, revealing an intricate set of glowing crimson command seals on the back of his hand. He wiggled his fingers playfully. "Fancy, huh? These little beauties mean I got to take part in the Holy Grail War! And you know what that means? That means I got to summon my very own Heroic Spirit! A legendary warrior bound by fate and history to serve me."
He turned his head slightly, raising his voice. "Alright, Crimson Fucker, get your undead ass over here!"
From the shadows, slow, deliberate footsteps echoed, each step carrying an ominous weight. The air itself seemed to tremble with his presence. Then, with a predatory grin and a low chuckle, he stepped into the light.
Alucard. The real deal—or at least, the most unhinged parody version to ever grace the multiverse.
His crimson coat billowed dramatically as he tilted his hat just enough to reveal his sharp, predatory grin. His glowing red eyes gleamed with amusement, filled with untold carnage and centuries of boredom.
"Well, well, well… if it isn't my new Master," he drawled, voice dripping with sarcasm and delight. "Tell me, Wade, do you have any idea what kind of monster you've just shackled yourself to?"
Deadpool gasped theatrically, placing a hand over his heart. "You wound me, Count Chocula! I thought we'd be best buds! Partners in crime! Batman and Robin! Pinky and the Brain!"
Alucard chuckled, sharp fangs peeking out. "Ah, but which of us is which?"
"Well, you do have the whole 'insane megalomaniac' thing going on, so I think that makes you the Brain."
"Oh? And what does that make you?"
"...Pink. Wait, no! That came out wrong—"
Alucard waved a gloved hand, already losing interest. "It doesn't matter. What does matter is that I have been dragged into yet another ridiculous war, this time at the behest of a regenerating, masked lunatic. You do realize I was enjoying my eternity of murder and mayhem before you yanked me into this?"
Deadpool shrugged. "Look, buddy, I needed a Servant, and you seemed like the kind of guy who'd make this whole thing way more fun. Plus, you know, I figured you'd get a kick out of shooting things and making people explode."
Alucard smirked. "Hah. You do know me well. But let's get one thing straight, Pool Boy—this isn't going to be one of those Master-Servant dynamics where I hang on your every word like a lost puppy. I do what I want, when I want, and if I listen to you, it's either because I feel like it or because you've bribed me with something interesting."
Deadpool tilted his head. "Define 'interesting.'"
Alucard held up a finger. "Mass murder."
Another finger. "Wanton destruction."
A third. "Messing with stuck-up idiots who think they're better than me."
He put up a fourth finger, then paused. "Oh, and high-speed internet. You have no idea how hard it is to get a decent connection in the coffin."
Deadpool snapped his fingers. "Say no more, my man! We'll get you the best WiFi package money can buy! AND unlimited access to Netflix!"
Alucard raised an eyebrow. "Does it include Adventure Time?"
"DUH! What do you take me for? A pleb?"
Alucard grinned. "Good. Then we have an accord."
Deadpool clapped his hands together. "See? We're already bonding! I mean, yeah, I may have doomed the world by summoning you specifically, but that's a problem for Future Me to deal with. Right now, we gotta figure out our game plan! Step one: Find and kill our competition. Step two: ??? Step three: Profit!"
Alucard's smirk widened, his posture relaxed yet predatory. "Ah, but first, tell me, Master—which of these poor fools should we eviscerate first?"
Deadpool scratched his chin in thought. "Hmm… I could go after the usual suspects—some angsty teen with a sword, a tragic knight, or some overpowered king with daddy issues—but where's the fun in that? Nah, let's just wing it! We'll improvise!" He turned back to the camera. "Hey, audience! You wanna see us just completely wreck some poor bastard's day? Stay tuned!"
Alucard cackled. "Oh, I like you, Wilson. Let's make this a bloodbath they'll never forget."
And just like that, the scene finally cut to black, returning us to the main timeline.
.............
......................................yeah we are still doing that time skip.