––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
If you liked the story and want to read more
or just to support me, copy the link below.
You will find a special membership for:
3 chapter
and another one for:
7 chapters.
patreon.com/zakx205
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Blade burst out of the building, sprinting down the street, looking left and right until he spotted a taxi parked by the curb. He yanked open the back door and jumped inside quickly, making the driver glance at him in confusion through the rearview mirror.
"Hey, did you see Batman's car pass by here?!" Blade asked excitedly, pulling out his wallet in a hurry.
"Yeah, it passed by a few moments ago, chasing a stolen taxi driven by some lunatic!" the driver replied, still trying to process the situation.
"Perfect! Listen, follow it right now, and I'll pay you $500!"
Before Blade could even finish his sentence, the driver slammed his foot on the gas, launching the car into Gotham's streets at insane speed, blowing past traffic lights like it was a NASCAR race.
"Oh, this guy isn't messing around!" Blade muttered, gripping the seat as the car rattled from the reckless driving.
Then, he turned once again to the reader, flashing a sarcastic grin:
"You know… I could've stolen a car… I could've jumped from rooftop to rooftop… or found a way more dramatic entrance… But nope! I went for the easiest option… a taxi! Because nothing screams 'chaos' like a high-speed chase!"
The car kept gaining speed, and the driver was laughing as if he was enjoying the thrill of the challenge. Blade, meanwhile, peeked out the window and saw the Batmobile closing in… and the Joker still driving his stolen taxi like a madman. Smirking, Blade muttered to himself:
"Time to enter the scene!"
As the taxi sped wildly through Gotham's streets, Blade grabbed his wallet and tossed it onto the driver's lap, saying:
"Here's your $500, plus a bonus for not killing me… yet!"
Before the driver could even respond, Blade flung the car door open and leaped onto the roof with reckless agility, holding on with one hand while the other stretched out in the air like a professional surfer.
"Alright, time for an upgrade!" Blade grinned as he spotted the Batmobile approaching fast.
He glanced at the driver and shouted over the roaring engine:
"Get me closer to Batman as fast as you can—but, uh, try not to kill us… Or rather, try not to kill yourself, 'cause I don't think you'll survive!"
The driver, now fully embracing his action movie moment, pressed down on the gas even harder, swerving crazily as he got dangerously close to the Batmobile. And when the timing was just right, Blade pushed off with all his strength and launched himself toward the armored black vehicle.
"WOOOOHOOOOO!" he yelled as he soared through the air for what felt like an eternity—before landing perfectly on the Batmobile's roof, gripping onto its edges to keep from falling.
Inside the car, Batman raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"What the hell is this now?"
A loud knocking came from the roof, followed by Blade's voice shouting:
"Open up! Let me in! I don't wanna be a car ornament!"
With an exasperated sigh, Batman pressed a button, partially opening the roof—only to have Blade dive inside and crash onto the seat next to him. Turning to him with a blank expression, Batman coldly asked:
"Why are you here?"
Blade took a deep breath after his thrilling leap, then looked at Batman with a grin and said:
"Oh, nothing… I just got bored and thought I'd join you in this beautiful adventure. The Joker, a chase, cars exploding… Man, what a fantastic night!"
Batman closed his eyes for a brief moment, then refocused on the road, while the Joker continued driving his stolen taxi like a madman in front of them.
As Batman increased the Batmobile's speed, trying to close the distance between them and the stolen taxi, Blade sat back, enjoying himself like he was in a top-tier action movie.
Then suddenly, the Batmobile's roof opened, and without hesitation, Blade leaped recklessly toward the taxi, which was swerving wildly under the Joker's chaotic driving. He flew through the air for a moment before landing hard on the car's roof, gripping tightly as he began crawling toward the side window.
Inside, the Joker was laughing hysterically, fully enjoying the chase. He slowly turned his head, only to find Blade hanging onto the side of the car, gripping the metal frame, looking at him with a sarcastic smile.
"Ooooh, hello there! I've got a delivery for Mr. Joker, is that you?" Blade said in an official tone as if he were a delivery service employee.
The Joker blinked twice, then suddenly burst into maniacal laughter, screaming:
"Oh, you're fantastic! I want to kill you and hug you at the same time!"
The Joker then tried to shove Blade away with his hand, but Blade swiftly grabbed his wrist and playfully said:
"Whoa there, buddy! Don't touch me! I have personal space issues, and you're not handsome enough for me to ignore them… unless you're wearing a wedding dress!"
At that moment, the Joker suddenly slammed his foot on the brakes, trying to throw Blade off. But instead, Blade leaped up onto the roof, then dropped down onto the hood of the car, gripping onto it tightly as the vehicle continued to swerve wildly.
"Awesome! Now I feel like I'm in a scene from Fast & Furious—but without the budget!" Blade shouted as the Joker cackled hysterically, trying to shake him off the car.
At that moment, the Batmobile sped closer, and Batman's voice boomed through the speakers:
"Blade! Get off there!"
"Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my own insanity while I cling to my life!" Blade shot back sarcastically before he started moving toward the front windshield, trying to reach the Joker directly.
The windshield shattered under Blade's powerful punch, shards of glass flying in all directions as his fist smashed straight into the Joker's face, sending him crashing back into his seat. The car swerved violently, while Batman, trailing behind, observed the chaos, anticipating any insane move either Blade or the Joker might make.
But the Joker wasn't going to let that slide so easily. In a flash, he pulled out a gun, and without hesitation, aimed it at Blade and pulled the trigger!
"Bang!"
But just as the bullet should have torn through Blade's body—there was no one in front of the gun. The door was wide open.
The Joker blinked in confusion, then slowly looked up—only to see Blade lying casually on the car's roof, grinning smugly.
"Shooting inside a car? Really? I expected a higher level of creativity from you, Prince of Crime!" Blade teased, waving at him mockingly.
The Joker immediately started firing wildly, trying to hit Blade, but the latter began swaying left and right at high speed, pretending to dance to the rhythm of the gunshots. Every bullet that hit him made him let out a dramatic, exaggerated groan, as if he was enjoying the situation way too much.
"Oh! That one got me in the shoulder! Nice! Oh, and this one in the chest? Classic!"
The Joker looked at his gun, blinked twice, then burst into hysterical laughter.
"Hahaha! Are you serious? You're actually enjoying this?"
He fired his last bullet, but Blade suddenly vanished from sight. The Joker glanced around, confused, then heard a voice behind him. Slowly, he turned—only to find Blade sitting comfortably in the back seat with a wide grin.
"By the way, I love the car's scent. Is that a mix of gunpowder and insanity?"
At that moment, the Joker suddenly jumped out of the speeding car, making a run for the nearest building.
As the taxi barreled toward a wall at full speed, Blade looked at the reader and let out a deep sigh.
"Well, I guess this is the end for me… Oh, wait, I have regeneration! Never mind, keep reading!"
The car slammed into the wall with tremendous force, completely wrecking itself—but it didn't explode, making Blade sigh in relief as he lay among the wreckage.
"Oh, thank you, writer! I would've complained if you made me crawl out of this thing on fire!"
Blade struggled to push himself out from under the crushed car, his body already regenerating as he muttered some sarcastic curses.
"F*** you and your mother, you damn scriptwriter! Looks like you had a rough childhood."
He lazily stood up, inspecting his torn jacket before letting out a long exhale.
"Great… Now I have to order a new one… ?!"
Just then, Batman's car screeched to a sudden stop near the wreckage. Batman stepped out, stared at Blade for a moment with a look that screamed, Are you actually this stupid?, then immediately turned his attention to the top of the building where the Joker had fled.
Without saying a word, Batman pulled out his grappling gun, fired the hook, and launched himself toward the rooftop.
Blade watched him go, then glanced at the reader, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, of course, he goes after the Joker while I'm down here picking glass out of my face… Great, thanks for the help, Bruce!"
He started plucking shards of metal from his body, thinking about how to chase the Joker without a fancy grappling hook.
As Blade ran into the building, he stopped for a moment, placed his hands on his knees, and panted.
"Oh, man… Why do villains always pick tall buildings?! Does the Joker have a height complex or something?"
He looked at the elevator but saw that it was already in use. Letting out a long sigh, he muttered:
"Of course, the Joker takes the elevator, and I'm stuck with the stairs… This is so unfair."
He scanned the area quickly, then started sprinting toward the staircase, taking the steps two at a time. But by the third floor, he was already huffing.
"I have regeneration, but that doesn't mean I don't hate stairs!"
He kept climbing, and when he finally reached the tenth floor, he stopped for a moment, wiped the sweat off his forehead, then looked at the reader.
"Am I the only one who thinks superheroes should get free gym memberships?!"
Then, he continued his way up, determined to catch the Joker before he reached the rooftop where Batman was waiting.
When Blade finally made it to the top of the building, he was gasping for air, leaning on his knees, while Batman had the Joker by the collar of his purple coat. The Joker was laughing hysterically, his head tilted back, eyes gleaming with madness.
"Oh, Bats! Do you really think you stopped my plan? The barrels filled with laughing gas will explode any moment now, and Gotham will have a night of uncontrollable laughter!"
But before the Joker could finish his sentence, Blade raised a tired hand, still panting heavily.
"I-If those barrels were yours, sorry, but my mom told me to do good… even if I'm a villain who likes older women—uh, I mean, women in their forties."
The Joker froze in place, blinked twice, then looked at Batman, then at Blade. Silence filled the rooftop for a moment. Then suddenly, the Joker placed his hands on his hips and burst into laughter, both amused and frustrated at Blade.
"Hahahaha! Man, are you serious?! I swear, I'm going to snap your neck!"
Blade, still catching his breath, tilted his head to the side and looked at the Joker.
"Oh, sorry, did I ruin your super evil plan?! You should've texted me first so I could give you a fair chance!"
Batman, his expression unchanging, tightened his grip on the Joker's collar.
"It's over, Joker."
But the Joker, despite being caught, kept laughing.
"Oh, but Bats, you know me… It's never over!"
Before he could finish, Blade delivered a strong punch to his face.
"Yeah, yeah, we've heard that a million times, chalk-face! Now, should we take you to jail, or would you rather I hang you in the middle of the street with a sign that says Free Hugs?"
Batman shot Blade a brief side glance but said nothing, simply tightening the restraints on the Joker. The Joker kept laughing, but this time, there was a little less arrogance in his tone.
"You heroes always ruin the fun… Fine, I'll let this slide—but you, the one in purple pajamas, we'll be having another chat soon!"
Blade placed his hands on his hips, still slightly out of breath.
"If I have to chase you again in the future, I hope the building is shorter next time."
Standing on the rooftop, Blade watched as Batman disappeared into the night, carrying the tightly restrained Joker like a trash bag full of failed comedy.
Before Batman jumped, he turned to Blade and said in his usual serious tone:
"By the way, the elevator? The Joker sabotaged it…"
Then, he fired his grappling hook and vanished, leaving Blade standing there, staring into the void for a moment.
"Oh, great! Just great! I helped you stop a crazy plan, saved the damn city, almost died under a car—that was excessive, by the way—and now you're forcing me to take the damn stairs?"
Blade looked at the reader and raised an eyebrow.
"Well, at least he didn't tell me to jump. That's progress in our relationship, right?"
He turned toward the stairwell door, opened it, and looked down… 30 floors of pure suffering.
"Oh god… Is this revenge because I beat you yesterday? I admit, this is a genius revenge plan!"
Blade reluctantly started descending, but after only two steps, he suddenly stopped and smacked his forehead.
"Wait a second… Why don't I just jump off the roof? I have regeneration—I won't die… right?"
He thought for a moment, then glanced at the reader again.
"Alright, maybe I'll test it and see what happens… Either I reach the ground faster, or I become a human pancake for a few moments before coming back to life… Both sound fun!"
Taking two steps back, he took a deep breath… then sprinted at full speed and leaped off the rooftop, shouting with extreme enthusiasm:
"For you, Goooootham!!"
As Blade plummeted at lightning speed, fully prepared to become a "deluxe human pancake," he suddenly stopped midair.
He felt a strange force pulling him upward before he slowly floated toward the ground. Flailing his arms wildly, he yelled:
"What?! No! Nooo! I was ready to hit the ground like a cartoon character! This ruins the dramatic moment!"
Looking around, he saw Raven standing there, arms crossed, a black aura surrounding her as she held him in midair. She looked at him coldly and said in a calm yet sarcastic voice:
"Are you insane? You were about to turn into a human pancake and traumatize every pedestrian in sight."
Blade, still suspended in the air, raised his hands in surrender and smirked.
"Oh, sorry! I didn't realize I was part of an educational safety program! Thank you, my wise mentor. Now, can you either lower me down gently or let me test my crash-landing abilities?"
Raven didn't move—she just narrowed her eyes and said flatly:
"Gladly."
And in an instant, she released her magical grip, sending Blade crashing straight into the ground. However, thanks to his regeneration, he quickly stood up, rubbing his head and muttering:
"Okay, that was unnecessary… but I admit, it was a perfect landing!"
Raven raised an eyebrow and replied sarcastically:
"You're an idiot."
Blade gave her a confident smile as he dusted himself off and said:
"I know, but I'm a very handsome idiot, aren't I?"
Raven sighed, shook her head, and walked away, while Blade followed her with a grin, thinking that his day wasn't completely bad… even if he wasn't allowed to crash like a low-budget action hero.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
If you liked the story and want to read more
or just to support me, copy the link below.
You will find a special membership for:
3 chapter
and another one for:
7 chapters.
patreon.com/zakx205
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––