'No. not yet. Not like this.'
The idea gnawed at the fringes of his dying consciousness, refusing to allow him to slip into nothingness. His will, weak and failing, fought to resist the void.
'I can't give in. If I do. I'll never wake up.'
He tried to move his fingers, his arms, his legs anything but his body refused to respond. He was too weak. He could feel himself slipping, the pull of oblivion growing stronger with each passing moment.
Just rest, a traitorous voice whispered in his mind. 'You've done enough.'
'But rest would mean surrender, and surrender would mean…'
When Lucian opened his eyes if he still had eyes to open there was darkness. An endless, choking emptiness enveloped him, lacking light, sound, or texture. It was as if the world itself had ended.
He attempted to shift but felt nothing. His arms, legs his whole body were gone. He didn't know if he was floating or plummeting; there was no reference point, no up or down.
"Where am I?" he attempted to speak, his voice hoarse.
The silence bore down on him, a weight greater than anything he had ever experienced. Panic was creeping in, but it was sapped, blunted by the odd numbness that seemed to permeate this environment.
'Is this what dying feels like? Is this where everybody goes after they die?' he asked himself.
The idea didn't scare him as much as he expected it to. Indeed, there was a weird, creepy comfort in the emptiness.
'It's not that bad', he thought. 'Quiet, even.'
But as the seconds dragged on into what felt like an eternity, other thoughts crept up unwelcome and uninvited.
Why should I return? he questioned himself. Even if I do, those beasts. That Vespralith. They'll just kill me once more. No, by now, they've likely already devoured my corpse.
The vision made him shiver within. 'Being eaten…' he winced.' Gross.'
Nevertheless, the idea lingered, becoming increasingly sinister with every iteration.
"Mom. Dad. Sis." Their faces came into his mind, one after another, uninvited. "I'm sorry."
His words lacked substance, even to himself. He wished he could care, feel the heft of failure, but numbness in the emptiness appeared to drain even his remorse.
"They'll be okay without me," he grumbled.
They're strong.
They'll grieve for a time, sure, but they'll get over it in the end.
But will they?
Even after what they suffered when my brother passed away, what we suffered….will they be okay when I pass away too?
'Am I truly surrendering?'
The query floated in mid-air, unreplied.
"Are you surrendering so easily, Lucian Lunastre?"
The voice broke the silence like a clap of thunder. Deep, resonant, and heavy with mockery, it rang out across the emptiness, from everywhere and nowhere simultaneously.
"Who's there?" Lucian's mind came to attention, the drowsiness momentarily dispelled.
There was no reply, only further questions.
"Is this the extent of the prince of the Lunastre clan? The prodigy among prodigies? The boy who awakened his Sigil years ahead of others even dreaming of it? Is this how it ends? Is this how you quit after promising your deceased brother? Would your brother accept you like this?"
Lucian flinched at the final words from the voice. "Shut up!" he growled. "You don't know anything about me!"
The voice dismissed his tirade, going on with merciless mirth.
"Is this how you uphold your family's honor? Is this how you return the love and trust of those who believe in you? By fleeing? Was your brother also a coward like-
Lucian's temper burned, fiery and bitter.
"Enough!" he bellowed. "You think I haven't considered that? Do you think I don't realize how much I'm disappointing them? And what do you even know about my brother?!? Don't ever try to speak to him with your lips!"
"Then why are you still here?" the voice snapped.
"Do you think I'd want to remain here? I am trapped here and don't know how to escape, that's why I am here you idiot! " Lucian talked back. His voice broke, the rage giving way to desperation. "Even if I could return, what would be waiting for me? A horde of Abyss creatures? A Vespralith? I'd die all over again!
And I don't even know how I am supposed to wake up from here!"
His words poured forth in a spate, acid and unguarded. "And even if miraculously I remained alive, then what? I don't know where I am in the Abyss. It isn't an occupied territory, certainly. If it were, no Vespralith would walk about freely. So tell me what hope is there for one such as I?"
The voice was quiet for a beat as if weighing his words. When it spoke, its tone was gentler but no less resolute.
"You tell me there is no hope, and yet here you are, holding on despite all of this. If you wanted to die, you would have given up by now."
Lucian faltered, the accuracy of the words hitting home.
"You're tired, Lucian. Tired of following in the footsteps of your brother? Tired of trying to act like him, to walk the same path as him. You took it upon yourself, to take the burden your brother once took. But you didn't realize that doing so had burdened you even more and held you back from finding your path. Your brother wouldn't have wanted you to walk the same path as him."
The voice gentled more. " Tell me, Lucian. In your words, what is the most exquisite thing in existence, yet mostly neglected?
The question took Lucian by surprise.
"What?"
"Answer it," the voice commanded.
Lucian scowled, thinking. "I don't know. Family? Love?"
The voice laughed, a rich, booming sound that caused waves in the emptiness. "Life, Lucian. Life is the most precious thing one can possess. And yet so many waste it, burdened by fear, expectations, and regret. They lose sight of living for themselves. But you. you can still alter that."
Lucian wished to say something, but the voice went on before he could.
"Life is a test, Lucian. It will shatter you, warp you, and challenge you in ways you can't even begin to comprehend. But each failure, each defeat, is a chance to come back stronger. You haven't died yet not really. Other failures until death are merely psychological. So I ask you again: will you fight? Or will you give up?" Lucian shut his eyes or whatever the equivalent of shutting his eyes was in a void.
The question weighed upon him, heavier than any shield or sword he'd ever worn.