On a plain that led to Svel, eight men were facing off against a crowd of over thirty monsters. The hero Haruto swung his katana—-a sword gifted to him by the king—cutting down a beast that jumped at him.
It was a monster that looked a lot like a hyena from Earth, only with poisonous-looking purple and cherry-blossom-pink fur. The monster, called a 'hur,' tended to be around level 20 and wasn't too hard for a trained knight or warrior to defeat. But that was only when there were small numbers of them. With a pack this large, they were undoubtedly a troublesome foe.
"Yah!"
But Haruto didn't feel any significant amount of fear, and he swung his sword calmly. Having already witnessed the two most feared people in the world gave him some resistance to it. No matter what enemy or monster Haruto was faced with, he just ended up thinking, This is still better than those two last bosses.
On top of that, Haruto's weapon was strong. The weapon, which had been found in the Grave of the Black Empress, was fearsomely sharp and made up for Haruto's inexperience.
Haruto glanced around and saw that Mitokado was skillfully supporting people with heaven-arts. Cardin and the others were each using their own weapons to wildly attack the monsters. Teuchi took a single swing with his claymore and cleaved through several monsters at once. And Plue shoots himself at multiple hurs like a torpedo, piercing them with his sharp nose.
…What? Use your sword, you Sword Saint!
"PUUN!!!" The Sword Saint roared, scaring the monsters. Wild animals were sensitive to strength, so they probably sensed the difference in strength between themselves and Plue. The monsters scattered, and the fight waned into stillness.
"…Urp…"
Once the fight ended, so did the sense of tension. As his tension eased off, Haruto was assaulted with an intense nausea. Haruto quickly covered his mouth with his hand and somehow fought through the urge to hurl.
He'd gotten much more used to it, but Haruto still felt some resistance to killing living things. Even if he was a hero now, he'd lived in a peaceful world just a little while ago, where even the food he ate had been processed and was readily available in stores. The only things Haruto could remember killing himself had been bugs. He hadn't really thought anything of squashing mosquitoes in the summer, but Haruto felt it was only natural to feel resistance towards killing something like a dog or a cat.
This was the same thing. But no matter how natural it was, Haruto still didn't want to show other people such an unsightly scene as him throwing up.
I already know I'm a joke of a hero. To those two, I'm probably just a bug, something so small it's not even worth paying attention to. But I still have some dignity to preserve. No matter how weak or unworthy of the title 'Hero' I am, that doesn't change anything. I've already answered the call, so I have a duty to act as the hero.
There are people who look at me with expectation and call me a hero. So I can't let them down. They all have hope, a hope so faint I could just blow it all away. But there's no way I can do that. I can't show them how weak I really am, even if it means putting on a paper-thin mask.
At the very least, I'll keep putting up this front. I have a responsibility to do at least that much, as the person who answered their call.
Haruto forcibly swallowed the contents of his stomach back down.
"Hey, now. You're still not used to it, Haruto? You gotta at least be able to cut down a monster or two without throwing up, or you won't last."
"…You… might be right."
Haruto inwardly rejected what Cardin, one of his allies, said even while outwardly agreeing. There was a part of him that thought, I'm fine like this.
True, I won't last if I keep hesitating to fight monsters. I know that. I know that I need to get used to it. It's selfish to not want to get used to it. I know that, too.
But, still. I don't want to be the kind of person who kills things and feels nothing.
I'm contradicting myself. I don't want to look shameful by throwing up. But I also don't want to become so used to killing I feel nothing.
Haruto continued to hold on to both opposing feelings. He never wanted to stop feeling the weight of taking a life. If he did, he would be going against his own sense of justice.
Japan, the country which Haruto would eventually return to, was a constitutional state. That meant its laws were there for the people. There were morals and common sense. Haruto didn't want to return there having lost his resistance to killing.
The police arrested bad people. And it was true that sometimes they had to shoot and kill them. But no police officer would happily point their gun at someone and pull the trigger nor would a police officer feel joy over having killed someone. Anyone who did that would just be a murderer who hid behind the law, using it as a shield.
But in this world, that was considered justice. Those who could bravely stand on the battlefield and reap the lives of monsters without a second thought were great warriors and heroes. While it was close to the image of his father's back which Haruto had set as his goal, it was also far off the mark.
It's obvious, but I'm really not suited to being the hero in a game, am I…? I know I'm naive. Not just kind. Naive.
I haven't resolved to do what I need to, nor am I prepared to try. Even though I answered their call for help, I'm still not quite here.
While his body was in Midgar, Haruto still felt as if his heart was left in peaceful Japan. That was why he kept causing trouble for his friends; he couldn't help but prioritize his morals and common sense from Japan.
It would be simple to just charge forward recklessly. Haruto could just move as his sense of justice dictated. But he lacked the power to make that course of action possible. He wasn't mentally prepared to follow through with that, either. Haruto wasn't brave, but rash. It hadn't even really sunk in that he was the hero.
I just don't think, do I? As I am now…
Haruto had been asked to defeat both the Grimm King and Black Empress. But such a feat would be impossible for him right now. Actually, are they even people who can be fought by normal living things?
Even though Haruto knew it was impossible for him at the moment, he still kept going forward with his journey. That was the definition of recklessness.
I'm not a hero. I'm not worthy of being called one.
But people still called him a hero and pinned their hopes on him. Haruto couldn't betray their expectations, so the first thing Haruto had on his to-do list was to become a worthy hero. The first step to doing so was to fix his backwards attitude. Haruto wanted to go from being reckless to heroic, at least.
Instead of trying to ignore the fear and keep walking, Haruto wanted to keep walking while accepting it. If he didn't, Haruto was sure that he'd become unable to tell right from wrong. Would a person who simply ignored everything inconvenient to them be able to make good, correct decisions? Of course not.
We're all afraid… We don't even try to look at other possibilities. Lunaru Fenris is too strong and too fearsome. That's why people decided she was evil. They wanted to defeat her. They wanted to make her go away.
…I'm the same. If possible, I don't want to see her ever again.
But… But still…
Haruto held a single bit of doubt. It was something he couldn't discuss with his allies, something that he could only keep to himself. Haruto had a theory, one that only he could come up with because he was originally from another world and thus had no preconceived notions about anything.
—Is Lunaru Fenris really an enemy?
It's almost strange how much everyone dislikes her. Even the conversation between her and the Grimm King was just taken as some random exchange between two villains. They didn't dig into it at all. But that conversation sounded different to me. The Grimm King even said that the fight one thousand years ago was something plotted by the Goddess.
…Then wouldn't this one be a plot, too?
There's also the unnaturalness of the fact that the Seven Maidens of Midgar, who should have been Naru's friends, all betrayed her. Were they mind-controlled? Did the Goddess heighten their feelings of fear? I don't know how she did it, but wouldn't it make sense for her to be doing the same right now?
The reason why Haruto and the others were traveling to Svel was to meet the Witch Princess Juvia and try to gain some hint towards defeating the Grimm King and the Black Empress. There was also the hope that she would know of some method for strengthening the hero. After all, she'd once managed to reach the peak, level 1000, herself. It was likely that she knew of some way to train that'd been lost to the people of this age.
But Haruto alone had a different objective. He only wanted to see Juvia to find out just what had happened one thousand years ago, not for some way to defeat the Black Empress. He wanted to listen to a firsthand account from the Witch Princess herself about those events and build a more complete picture of Naru's circumstances.
I won't be able to move forward if I don't know. I won't be able to fight. It's not good to simply narrow your vision and be ignorant of everything.
You can't just say, "Whoops, sorry. I was wrong," after shooting someone.
That was what his father, who was a cop, used to tell him. More specifically, he used to say, "Make sure you never point your gun at the wrong person."
The police were backed by the law. They had the authority to arrest criminals. That was why the police needed to look at everyone fairly and not just listen to one side of the story. They had a responsibility to consider both sides and all the facts before making a fair and correct decision.
"Your father made a mistake… I arrested someone innocent and took away fifteen years of their life, and in the end, that person committed suicide. Listen, Haruto-kun. Your father isn't an ally of justice anymore. So… don't become like me. Never become a man who charges forward with only their sense of justice and ends up making a mistake."
That was what Haruto's father had said while drowning himself in alcohol after the feelings of guilt and stress.
Haruto's father used to be on the side of justice. He'd wanted to help the weak, and he'd wished for the happiness of kind people. For that purpose, Haruto's father had gone to work every day. Haruto himself had been very proud of his father back then.
Haruto wanted to become like his father some day. Haruto admired him. And those feelings hadn't changed.
I'm okay Dad… I'm still calm.
No, actually, I'm panicking quite a bit. But I still think I'm all right. Definitely. Probably. Yeah.
I just have to figure out the right person, right? I know that. I can't decide things just off of one side's story. And I can't point my gun at the wrong person.
…Uhh, I'm using a katana right now, though. Actually, I have no idea what this katana is doing in this world. It's a complete mystery. But that's all right.
…I'll never point my gun at the wrong person, resolved the young man who was called a hero but was aware that he had yet to become one. He desired to never become a merciless reaper of justice.
I know I'm not powerful enough to become the hero this world wants. But the pillar I've built in my heart will never waver. The justice I've inherited from my father still lives. So I'll find it. I'll find my own brand of heroism. I won't just become the hero that everyone wants, someone who only defeats their enemies for them. I have a weapon called justice within me, as well as just cause and the backing of a country. So I won't make a mistake. I can't make one.
A hero isn't someone who just blindly fulfills justice as dictated by someone else, but someone who bravely pushes forward to come to the correct answer. I think that's the true form of a hero.