"So this is what Japanese college girls are like, huh? I'm not cut out for this. Compared to them, high school girls are way easier to fool…."
Suddenly, Shiro thought of something.
"Speaking of idiots, I wonder how that fool Kitahara is doing? By now, he should have met Nanaka-nee, right? Damn it, why is that bastard so lucky?!"
Shiro clenched his teeth in frustration. As expected of a world straight out of anime, fortune always smiled upon the dumbest people. Too bad for him, he had no clue which anime this even was. He probably wouldn't even get a chance to meet the protagonist of this world.
Just then, Shiro noticed a large crowd gathered at the university gates.
"Huh? Did they move the opening ceremony here?"
Shiro muttered, sensing that something big had happened.
As someone with a true millennial soul, there was no way he could miss out on a spectacle!
He carefully chose a spot where the girls were densely packed and squeezed in, nearly losing himself in the softness around him.
Fortunately, his iron willpower kept him focused, and he successfully made his way to the front.
But when he saw what everyone was looking at, his expression instantly shifted from excitement to utter disdain.
That didn't stop him from quickly whipping out his phone and taking pictures, though!
In front of him, three naked men were sprawled across the university entrance in extremely inappropriate positions, surrounded by students snapping photos.
Shiro had zero doubt that these three would become infamous by the end of the day.
The real problem?
He knew every single one of them!
It was none other than the two gorilla senpais from last night and—
Kitahara Iori.
What the hell did you guys even do last night?! Drunken streaking?!
Shiro couldn't bear to look anymore. At the same time, he was immensely relieved that he had left early last night to chase after his runaway luggage.
Otherwise, he had no doubt the scene before him would have featured four people. After all, his drinking level seemed to be on par with Azusa-nee!
"Ugh… my head is killing me!"
At that moment, the main protagonist of the incident, Kitahara Iori, slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he did was grab his phone.
8:54 AM.
"Crap! I'm gonna be late! Didn't I say I absolutely wouldn't be late?!"
Honestly, Shiro kind of admired this fool's steel nerves. Even in this situation, he hadn't realized anything was off.
However, even an idiot had some level of intelligence.
Iori's sluggish brain took two seconds to process his surroundings.
He blinked at the crowd staring at him, then turned his head toward the nearby lecture hall.
Technically, if he only considered the time…
"See? I told you we wouldn't be late."
The blond gorilla-senpai, Kotobuki, had woken up at some point and grinned at Iori.
"YOU BASTARD AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
Iori's face twisted in despair.
What kind of definition of not late was this?! They were practically dead in a social sense!
"I will never forget this betrayal!"
After screaming those words, Iori couldn't take the embarrassment anymore and bolted!
As he passed by Shiro, Shiro carefully hid himself behind the crowd.
He had a gut feeling that if anyone found out he was associated with this idiot, he was doomed.
Silently, Shiro watched Iori's retreating back.
"Tsk tsk tsk. Iori, Iori… looks like you're about to have a very lonely four years in university. How tragic."
Seeing Iori's miserable fate, Shiro almost felt like popping a bottle of champagne in celebration.
As expected, he was the one truly blessed by Lady Luck!
---------------
Izu University, Engineering Classroom
Shiro, ever the opportunist, had managed to secure a seat right next to a beautiful girl.
Although he already knew that the engineering department had an extreme shortage of female students, he was still shocked when he only spotted a handful of them in the entire room.
Still, he had been lucky enough to sit beside the prettiest one.
However, the moment he sat down, he realized something. His current position gave him a perfect view of a certain pervert in the crowd.
Kitahara Iori, First Day of School, Hungover and Wearing Only Underwear to Class—Instant Fame at Izu University.
This led to an interesting phenomenon: in his entire row of seats, only one other person sat beside him.
A man with shoulder-length blonde hair, strikingly handsome, though the magical girl Lalako print on his shirt immediately outed him as a hardcore otaku.
The two men locked eyes, staring at each other in silence.
Shiro couldn't help but wonder if they had just sparked the flames of romance.
"The last thing I want is to get involved with these two weirdos!"
Shiro-chan made a silent vow, these two would definitely be obstacles on his path to success!
To return to his normal life, Shiro decided to chat with the beautiful girl sitting next to him.
Except... she seemed a bit airheaded. The charm that had never failed him back in high school was completely ineffective.
"Alright, that concludes the orientation. Please submit your elective course selections within seven days."
Shiro had to admit, he really liked the flexibility of Japan's university schedules. Plenty of free time for personal activities.
He planned to use this time wisely, to reply to the contacts he collected from the lovely ladies earlier.
Clubs?
That could wait until Kitahara, the idiot, went to investigate. As his debtor, Kitahara should practically worship him as a god. Treating him like a servant every now and then was perfectly reasonable, right?
As Shiro was basking in his genius, that very same underwear-clad idiot walked straight up to him.
"Yo! Chisa, Scumbag, let's go check out the club fair!"
Both Shiro and the girl turned to look at each other, completely stunned.
"You know this idiot?!" x2
=（??? ????)
Things had taken an interesting turn...
"Uh... Kitahara, shouldn't you put on some clothes first?"
Having been exposed, Shiro had no choice but to sigh and remind the fool. He couldn't believe he had been so shocked that he forgot to run away.
"Ah... I guess you're right."
Kitahara acknowledged the point but made no move to leave. The two locked eyes for a few more seconds.
"Don't tell me... you forgot how to get home?"
(-ι_-)
Kitahara clutched his face in frustration. He didn't even remember how he got to the university gate, how could he possibly know the way back?!
"Classic Kitahara Iori."
Just then, the beautiful girl, perhaps to escape the unbearable awkwardness, blushed and turned toward the door.
"W-Well... I'm heading home first!"
"Alright! Let's go back together then!"
Shiro's eyes widened in shock as Kitahara, the shameless fool, casually walked up to the girl—Chisa—and followed her?!
Moreover, he was planning to go home with her?!
SLAP!
A firm hand landed on Kitahara's shoulder.
Shiro's entire face darkened as if he had transformed into a Titan.
"Oi, Kitahara. We haven't seen each other for a while, and you've already evolved from an idiot into a full-blown pervert?!"
"Wait, wait, Shiro, you bastard! Chisa and I live together!"
"Bastard! We're not even close enough for first-name basis! ...Wait, you live together?"
Shiro was even more shocked now. He glanced at Chisa, who was looking at Kitahara with pure disgust, like she was staring at literal garbage.
And yet... she didn't deny it.
Shiro turned to inspect Kitahara again.
The guy was wearing nothing but underwear.
Tears welled up in Shiro's squinted eyes.
He looked at Chisa with deep emotion and said, "If you need legal assistance, I might be able to help."
"That's too much, you bastard! We're cousins!"
"Wait, stop! Don't say it so loudly!"
Chisa finally broke. This was beyond humiliating, there was no need to announce it to the entire university!
"...Cousins?"
Shiro tilted his head in thought.
Kitahara's relatives were from the Kotegawa family. If he recalled correctly, the Kotegawa family had two daughters...
"Sister-in-Law, hello!"