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Chapter 6 - Reason of life and death

There was nothing to grab as he slowly crawled ,reached the small spring and drank the water . It had sweet taste , wait ! Sweet? Normal water has no taste ,Water is poisonous! Before he spat it out , the poisonous water already affected his body since he already lost 99%of his strength

He coughed blood

" Did a poisonous type monster lived below water ? Or did something poisoned it on purpose?"

Ahh i don't want to die , I'm still 16 years old wait , isn't today my birthday?What a tragedy .I haven't returned violet's diary , i haven't said goodbye to daddy .

Wait ....

Why am i looking for a reason to... live ? My reason for living is actually just for other people? Well maybe my attribute , fated to die is right . I haven't felt like living in my whole life I wanted act as ordinary as possible, I wanted to thank my family for being my family, i couldn't start a conversation with someone until they talked to me which is why i loved my sister and fought with her so much because i wanted her to start a conversation so that she wouldn't hate me . Her skill was a precious gift for me. I lived just because of my family, all my achievements, my everything was for them but they aren't here .

Why would I live ?

My heart was empty , was death scary ? Well i don't know I haven't died until now.

I was slowly falling asleep, I looked at my bracelet.

But ... Will mother be alright after I'm gone ?

Maybe i have no reason to be alive , but i have no reason to die , either .

So i want to live my life to the fullest . When i find my reason for living or dying later , I don't want to get held back because of my past , I don't want to regret anything . I don't want to be a disgrace for myself and my family.

I was frail and powerless from the start , i would suddenly cough blood or faint for no reason. My parents were always worried and anxious. They spent a lots of time and money to take care of me, I can't let them hear news of my death on my birthday after all those times . I have debts and grudges to pay for those who cared about me or despised me

I have REGRETS

I have FAVOURS to repay

I have GRUDGES to repay

I have RESPONSIBILITY of taking care of them

I have to look for REASON of my life and death

now so I'm not gonna until I fulfill them

I CAN'T DIE!

No , I'm not letting it happen

I don't care if I am fated to die , I'm alive right now. It's fates fault for not killing me until now .

But what can I do now ? I am dying,I wish i could see the woman in my dreams just one more time .

Drops of water rained from somewhere in this desert , that was the first and last time it rained , in the future it will only rain in his heart and never shown on surface unless he is acting or truly broken.

His eyes were heavy as a bright light shined in the depth of his pupil .

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