"Harry James Potter!" Hermione screeched throughout the Head Boy and Girl common room.
In all the years that Hermione had known him, he thought, when had using all three of his names worked to get his attention? For the past several months, the tension in the common room had been getting worse and worse to point where Harry had decided to keep a series of privacy and silencing spells in play at all times. He was only too sure that Hermione was going to yell his name a few dozen more times.
"Hmm...?" Harry made a non-intelligent noise while ignoring his bushy haired friend who was screeching at him. It had something to do with studying. He was sure of it. If only he would listen, but then that would negate what he was doing. Which was not listening at all. It's not like she had much to say anyway...
"Don't 'Hmm' me!" she replied hotly.
"Hmm..."
Hermione sighed and looked down at the floor, her arms dropping to her sides in resignation. Then her eyes and hands went up as if beseeching the almighty for some guidance.
Ever since Harry had defeated Voldemort three and a half months ago he had become withdrawn and silent. Her eyes brimmed with the raw events she had witnessed on February 14th. Many people had died in that very battle – fortunately the greater majority of them had been death eaters. Harry's parents' last friend had died: Remus Lupin. However it wasn't Remus that made Harry withdrawn, it was Ginny Weasley. Ginny had died that day also.
And to make matters worse, it wasn't just any day that she died. It had been the day Harry had proposed to her – Valentines Day. The dozens of red roses he had given to her that morning laid with her later that night in her coffin.
Hermione had seen a big shift in her friend since then. After that day she had noticed that Harry was afraid of getting close to people again.
Harry had felt the changes himself. He seemed to shut down when his heart skipped and the cold pit of his stomach ached like he never knew it could. So many people wanted to be friends with him, but he didn't want any new friends. He especially didn't want a new girlfriend like the ones that kept throwing themselves at him. They had a bad habit of dying.
Harry still had current friendships, but the one he had with Ron went downhill within days of Ginny's death. Ron was using the fame as the buddy of The-Boy-Who-Lived to his advantage. Interviews, parties, events that needed someone famous to show up. He was in demand only because Harry didn't want it. And Ron wasn't going to let that ride slip him by. True, he missed his sister but he had told Harry that he'd grieved for her already and it was time to move on. After all, that's what Ginny would have wanted.
Harry kept replaying those memories over and over in his head. That's what Ginny would have wanted. How the hell did he know? He hadn't been as close to her as Harry had been. He didn't know what thoughts kept her awake at night, nor those that scared her during the day. He was a brother that had gone off to school and never looked back at his family unless he needed something. But Ron had been right about one thing: Ginny would have wanted Harry to go on with his life. Of course, he needed to properly mourn for her for about a decade, but that was to be expected, he smiled at the thought of her sharp tongue. She had been joking when she said she would mourn for him for a decade if Voldemort did him in, and she expected the same of him – and he knew his mourning for her would be over when it was over – but he had no idea when that was.
After all, he missed her. He really did. She was the first person to show him what it was like to be loved.
Harry thought back on his friends to get off that morbid topic. All three of the trio was powerful: but Harry was extremely powerful for his age. He had been nicknamed like Dumbledore had been in his youth. However unlike the Headmaster (whose nickname had been Mr. Goats), Harry was officially labeled 'The Hero of Light,' or 'Lighty'. Unofficially, he was called 'Mini-Dumbledore.' It was magical binding title when he was given with his Order of Merlin 1st class in which they didn't tell him until he accepted his award. He knew he should have skived off going to that ceremony but couldn't ditch the damn award afterwards. It had a homing spell on it. Bloody useless government officials.
He hated that title. More than anything these days, Harry hated it. He blamed it on Arthur Weasley who was now the Minister of Magic. His father-figure just waved it off and told him he should be proud of his title. As for Ron and Hermione, as a trio, they were known as 'The Powerful Three' when they had battled against death eaters. Now, they were three remaining students finishing up school. Harry had some anonymity with the rest of the student body as they already knew him, and knew to not bother him. But that wasn't going to be the case when he graduated. He was not looking forward to it at all.
Harry was lonely. He wasn't depressed; he knew he should continue living without any regret, but his gut told him that something was about to happen in the near future. Something big. He ignored his gut instincts telling him to skip that lousy award dinner, so there was no way he was going to ignore it again. Harry wasn't sure if it would be bad or good. Knowing his luck, it would be bad. What was that old saying? If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
While everything had gone back to normal for the Wizarding world following Voldemort's downfall, Harry couldn't go back to an easy life. His nerves were still on edge. His senses were always heightened to the point he just couldn't get comfortable in any setting unless he was by himself. In a secure room. He would still wear his battle robes and conceal all his weapons on him. He grew up every year with something bad about to happen, so he was going to be prepared in life.
Life was odd with peace. No worries about Voldemort, just peace. And that was odd.
And more importantly, it was beginning to annoy Harry. He had nothing to do. Absolutely infuriating!
He already knew all the NEWT level material. Following his godfather's death, following the first bout of grieving for a family member, he had been tutored by Dumbledore, the Flamels, and several Order members independently. He easily rivaled Hermione in knowledge and practical. Harry was now Head Boy and Quidditch Captain. Harry had overheard several girls talking about him the other week saying that he was one of the hottest guys in school. He was sure they wanted to be overheard but after Ginny, he had no intention of dating anyone for the foreseeable future. The pain was still too fresh.
"Harry..." Hermione started again, quietly.
"Hmm...?" Harry was writing inside his journal. He had always kept a written journal as long as he could remember. He'd never had a friend until he was 11, so he had written a journal to keep him company somewhat. It wasn't the same as a real friend, but it did the trick at the time. And it wasn't just any journal either. It was Harry's journal. It was his. His thoughts, his feelings, a piece of him. Hopefully not like Riddle's twisted diary, but instead a source of healing emotion written down where he could remember it at a later date.
He even wrote down some of the things he learned on it – what actually happened in all of his battles, how he arrived at the decisions he made, and even some of the research that had gone into the final list of spells that did in the dark wanker.
Of course, no one would read it; Harry had enchanted it so it was unnoticeable to all but those of Potter blood. Maybe he'd leave it in a vault one day and his descendants could read it. Or they could have had Ginny... no! Don't think of that again!
"Would you please say something? You've been like this for months now!" Hermione pleaded. She was finally starting to crack. Her best friend Harry Potter was just too silent for her tastes.
"Hmm..." Harry replied.
"Harry James Potter!" Hermione screeched again, her voice cracking.
There were several minutes of silence... Hermione was about to start yelling again until Harry spoke up.
"Don't waste your breath, Hermy, I just don't feel like talking," Harry said calmly.
"Harry! Don't call me that! And gosh! You're talking! Oh my god, that's the first time I heard you speak outside of clubs and head boy duties!" she said mocking him to get a rise.
He didn't fall for it.
Another moment of silence...
She huffed and stormed to her room in anger. She was probably going to go talk to Ron later. Not like he cared.
Harry just rolled his eyes and finished his journal. After he was done, Harry then left to make his rounds around Hogwarts. Harry had to admit, life is so boring without adventure. Ron was now dating Hermione, at times. They were dating on and off even though Ron cheated on Hermione due to the fame that went to his head. That's probably what helped him get over Ginny's death so soon. But Hermione was just as forgiving as usual. It bothered Harry that Hermione was so forgiving, especially when she started yapping about it in the common room as if he was listening instead of doing his schoolwork.
Harry had loved Hermione, first as a friend, then as something more... but he never researched those feelings as he saw she had feelings for Ron. He then caught Ginny and it was nothing like he thought it could have been with Hermione. It was so much better. Harry figured he must have simply been infatuated with Hermione but he was never sure. What he was certain of was that he did not want to forgive either Ron or Hermione's accusations that Harry was turning dark.
It had been last November when they caught him in the Room of Requirement practicing spellwork against life-like dummies of known death-eaters. The spells had not been classified dark mainly because no one knew they existed. They were customized spells that Harry had developed for his next meeting with Voldemort and his prancing minions. Harry knew that while strength was with him, the numbers facing him would not be, so he needed an advantage. Harry had started a year earlier on illusion spells and was now considered a virtual master of the field. He could create visual illusions like most other wizards and witches, but his specialty was in creating full illusions – those that mixed visual, sound, feel, taste, smell, and in some cases, sensory depravation to achieve his goal. These illusions were so good that they often allowed opponents to think they were being attacked by unforgivables and their own imaginations took care of the rest. The best part of it was that while unforgivables took a lot of energy to cast, his illusions took next to no power and next to no time to charge up and send them shooting.
So now enter his two sidekicks who saw him practicing his "dark" spells. True, some were more than illusions. Once a fiend was down, Harry intended for them to stay down. For good. Ron of course immediately accused him of turning dark and while Hermione was at first unconvinced, she ultimately sided with Ron and expressed her opinion of her not wanting to see him turn dark and that he should talk to Dumbledore about all this. Maybe find a way stop his soul turning black.