My suspicions were confirmed when, while Fiona and I were eating breakfast, the elevator opened and a bunch of kids followed by their parents - who I recognized as Heroics Inc.'s PR team.
So he's paid for a business party. Go figure. I thought as I met the first cameraman with a face of serene not-surprise. I figured I'd leave the pretending to Fiona.
Asshole himself brought up the rear, giving encouraging comments straight from his list of PR-approved punchlines.
As he led the chant of "Happy Birthday To You," Destiny brought out a cake divided in two to show off the chocolate/velvet interiors and topped with a pair of 8-shaped candles.
I stayed calm as the cake was brought before us. Fiona enthusiastically blew out her candle, but I reached up and snuffed the flame between my fingers.
No way I'm giving anyone my germs. They're mine. I thought as I noticed little spit droplets on the red-white-blue-gold-themed frosting for Fiona's side. The colors wee the same as Asshole's super suit, emphasis on the gold.
Destiny's smile became a bit strained as I said "Thank you," in a calm voice, causing the strain on her lips to relax a bit.
From there, it was back to the kitchen island to distribute the cake. Despite getting the first piece, I spent my time passing out slices while Fiona copied me, adding a smile. I saved a corner piece of chocolate cake for myself and took it as my prize before sitting on the couch and studying the other kids.
A few short conversations were enough to weed out the ones I wanted to talk to from the ones I didn't. It was good practice for what I'd learned about child psychology over the course of the last year.
For most of them, I asked what they were studying and if the answer was anything unscientific, I switched to basic questions before parting.
Fiona, however, was having the time of her life. She quickly got taken in by the girly girls who were all about rainbows and ponies. Clearly, they'd studied their mark. Mostly they stuck to the kitchen island, slowly or not so slowly gorging themselves on cake.
The most interesting child was the one who already showed his Talent. A humanoid duck whose feathers were oiled to a shine. After a quick check of my tablet for the non-extinct varieties of duck, I had the perfect opener.
"You're a red-breasted merganser, aren't you?" I asked after approaching.
"Y-yeah! Most people think I'm a mallard though. How'd you guess?" His beak opened slightly in what I assumed was a smile.
"I didn't. I cross-referenced your appearance with information online. I'm Aislin. Ash for short. I like your head-plume."
"Jhaydun," he replied nervously, eyes flickering towards Asshole, who was outside hosting the barbecue portion of the party, leaving us kids with only one camerawoman.
"Nice to meet you, Jhaydun, tell me-"
"It's not a corkscrew!" he said in a panicked tone.
Not understanding, I tilted my head to indicate ignorance before finishing, "I was going to ask how you got your Talents. And what they are."
"Oh, uh, I was kind of born like this. I can pretty much do everything a duck can... except fly." He raised his arms, showing feathers that clearly didn't have enough surface area to lift a human being.
"Hopefully when I grow up I'll get flight... or maybe water powers. Durability would be nice, since my bones are kinda hollow..."
I nodded, vaguely understanding. Most Talents followed themes, but there were also "General" Talents that could arise for a lot of people. Flight, durability, strength, and so on. Most of the time they were a side effect of some other power, like a fire-themed person able to push themselves by using their flames like rockets.
"Do you have a Talent? I heard you were some kind of supergenius..."
"Education isn't a Talent. You'd be surprised how boring it gets up here. I haven't been allowed to leave the house since I was born."
"Oh wow," Jhaydun's face seemed to indicate pity. "But hey, we're both eight. Maybe soon you can come visit me. I live in the suburbs..."
That was when I noticed the camerawoman recording our conversation, her little drone hovering like an intrusive little egg with helicopter blades on the top and bottom.
I smile at the camera and make a rude gesture from an old space show, placing my thumb at the middle joint of my forefinger and raising three fingers into the air. It doesn't mean anything to most people, but I appreciated that old show because it was hard sci-fi from an era of actual space travel- even if the main character was a self-righteous jerk with a savior complex. The one good thing he did on his own, in my opinion, was giving up the presidency at the end of the show.
"Say, have you ever watched The Void?" I ask, before launching into a retelling that highlights my favorite characters. The rockhopper engineer, the swears-like-a-sailor politician, the dark-eyed captain, and the sociopathic mechanic.
My time with my memories is interrupted as suddenly I'm lifted into the air and pulled into the elevator along with Fiona, who is screaming. Jhaydun tries to grab me but his handfeathers are too oily and my arm slips free in a mere moment.
We land in the arms of someone invisible, and a moment later the door-close button lights up and we go down one floor, the bottom-floor button lighting as our kidnapper exits the elevator.
Solid work, taking off early to make them think we're going to the bottom.Professional deodorant wearer. Minty breath. Five stars. Would hire.
"Stop struggling!" the man snarls. I won't call him a villain just for kidnapping Asshole's kids. What? He has it coming. Unfortunately, that also means my sister and I are powerless victims.
Looks like I'm going to have to save the day, I think without enthusiasm.