For example, at first, the system gave him a quest without any choice or punishment!
And now this system deliberately set him up for failure by forcing him into the 'Perverted Sage' route—a route Zhao Yiming never even wanted in the first place?!
'Damn you, God of Richness & Love!'
Zhao Yiming's eyes widened as he realized what he had just blurted out. He gasped and quickly clasped his hands together.
"Oh no, I spoke out of turn! Forgive me, great and merciful God! Please do not strike me down with heavenly retribution! I will burn the finest incense and offer you the best tea, I swear!"
As a superstitious old man in his past life, Lao Chen—now Zhao Yiming—knew better than to anger a deity. If the system was truly created by a god, declining its task might not just curse him, but his descendants, his cows, his crops—everything!
With a deep breath, he resigned himself to fate.
"Alright… let's just pick the easy way!"
The landlord's wife, Su Meilin, had already reached him.
"Mr. Zhao, are you alright?" she asked with concern.
Zhao Yiming didn't even dare to look her in the eyes. He took a step forward and pretended to trip—
—only to actually trip.
"What the—?! Noooo!!!"
His foot landed on a stray bottle, sending him toppling forward.
Instinctively, he stretched out his hands to catch himself—
Only for them to land directly on Su Meilin's ample chest.
His face followed right after, colliding into her soft, warm cleavage.
For a brief moment, Zhao Yiming froze.
"Eh? This is… really comfortable? Like a cloud? Or the softest cotton?" he mumbled absentmindedly, his fingers involuntarily twitching against her chest.
Su Meilin, still processing what had just happened, blinked in shock. Then—
"KYAAAAA!!!"
Her high-pitched scream jolted Zhao Yiming back to reality. His eyes shot open, finding himself practically on top of her, their faces dangerously close.
"You! What do you think you're doing?!"
Her face burned red with a mix of embarrassment and rage.
Never in her life had she imagined being groped by some half-naked hobo who looked like he'd just crawled out of the mountains after a decade of meditation!
Zhao Yiming's soul nearly left his body as he realized the gravity of the situation. Moving at light speed, he scrambled off her and bowed deeply.
"I deeply apologize, fair maiden! It was never my intention to tarnish your tranquil beauty—a vision that appears only once in a hundred years!"
Despite the panic gripping his heart, Zhao Yiming's face remained unnervingly calm—a talent he had honed in his past life when bluffing his way out of trouble.
On the inside, however?
His heart pounded. Sweat dripped from his temples. An overwhelming, primal urge to poop gripped his stomach.
Still, he pressed on, spewing nonsense from his mouth.
"Please, Goddess of Jasmine and Purity, forgive this foolish servant! I am but a lowly man, unworthy of basking in your celestial presence!"
Zhao Yiming had no idea what the hell he was even saying at this point.
But it worked.
Su Meilin's violet eyes widened—not with anger, but amusement. Then, to his utter shock, she laughed.
"Pfft—Hahaha! What are you even saying? You're quite the smooth talker, Mr. Zhao!"
She stood up, dusting off her dress, and extended a hand to help him up. He hesitated for a second before taking it.
Once he was on his feet, she gave him a warm, dazzling smile. "I was worried since you hadn't left your apartment for a week, so I came to check on you."
Then, her eyes flicked over his disheveled state.
"It seems you're fine… though in quite a mess."
Zhao Yiming rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Ah, you're too kind, Miss Su. I was actually heading to the store to buy cleaning supplies."
He let out a deep sigh. "And as you saw, I… slipped on that damned bottle."
'Forgive me, young miss, for my lies! I swear I will repay your kindness one day!'
Su Meilin chuckled again. "Oh, I saw it alright."
Then, her expression turned slightly more serious.
"Since you're fine, I also need to inform you…"
She sighed, crossing her arms. "You haven't paid rent in three months."
Zhao Yiming stiffened.
"With a heavy heart, I have to give you a warning. If you don't pay by the end of this week…"
She shook her head, giving him a regretful smile. "You'll have to pack up and leave, Mr. Zhao."
She then left him alone just like that.
[Ding!]
[Congratulations on completing the quest!]
[Since the host finished the hard option, the rewards can now be claimed!]
[Rewards: $800 | Perk Unlocked: "Smooth Pervert" (Even obvious perverted acts now have a 30% chance of being excused as 'bad luck'!) | +15 Meilin Affinity | 1000 AP]
[God of Richness & Love's Comment: "That was a nice save, pal! Such a funny scene, and also a funny way to save your face! Keep up the good work!"]
Zhao Yiming's mouth fell open so wide that a bird could've built a nest inside.
"$800… JUST FOR THAT?! Heavens above! Have I finally ascended?! Have my ancestors blessed me at last?!"
In his past life as Lao Chen, he had broken his back working for a mere $2500 a month, sweating through summers, freezing through winters, and getting yelled at by bosses half his age.
But this system? This divine scam? It handed him $800 for something that should've gotten him slapped into the next life!
'This is sorcery! A heavenly trick! A beautiful, wonderful scam, and I LOVE IT!'
Sure, the quests were weird as hell, but who cared?!
It's money, baby!
For the first time in his miserable existence, he felt like he had cheated fate itself. No exhausting night shifts, no humiliating labor—just easy cash raining from the heavens.
But then, reality hit him like a slipper to the head.
Zhao Yiming shook himself. "No, no! If my old self saw me slacking like this, he'd crawl out of the grave just to beat me with a broom!"
Also… there was still the rent problem.
The apartment cost $1500 a month. The system had just gifted him $800, but he was still short.
He stroked his chin, lost in thought. 'How do I summon another quest? Should I just start sweet-talking random women and hope the system blesses me again?'
Then—
His whole body stiffened.
"Wait… I FORGOT TO BUY THE CLEANING SUPPLIES!"
Slapping his forehead, he turned on his heel and sprinted toward the nearest convenience store.
As he ran, people reacted in various ways—
Some whispered in disgust at the sight of a half-naked, disheveled man bolting through the streets.
Others averted their gazes, pretending he was just another spirit haunting the area.
Mothers yanked their children close, whispering, "See that man? That's what happens when you skip school and play video games all day! And waste all of your money on that gatcha game!"
But Zhao Yiming didn't care.
For the first time, he wasn't struggling to survive—he was thriving.
Or so he thought.
Because just as he stepped out of the store, a plastic bag of cleaning supplies in hand—
Three thugs blocked his path.
The tallest one cracked his knuckles, sneering. "Time to pay up, Zhao Yiming."