I had been with my girlfriend since our college days. But ever since we started working, the long distance between our workplaces and our busy schedules meant we only saw each other on weekends.
Lately, even that had faded. We barely exchanged messages once or twice a month. In my heart, I had already accepted that our relationship had silently ended. But it seemed she hadn't.
She was my age—my first love. The girl who stayed loyal even when I enlisted in the military. The one who worked part-time alongside me during our job-hunting days, the one I lived with, proving we were truly compatible.
Our old college friends still joked, "Why aren't you two married yet?" That's how long we'd been together.
From 21 to now, at 28—an eight-year-long relationship.
Eight years. A time long enough for any adult couple to have seen everything there was to see.
I had once thought about marriage, but after years of hesitation, that thought quietly faded.
And so, time passed. I completed my military service, got a job, and before I knew it, two years had gone by.
That was when the excuses started.
The first year, I told her I was still adjusting to work. The second year, I claimed I was indispensable, too busy to take time off.
Our relationship, once strong, had become a habit. A routine. A distant connection neither of us tried to repair.
And once my heart drifted away from my first love, I found myself seeking another.
A woman from my workplace.
An office wife.
An "office wife"—a term referring to an affair partner at work.
They say distance makes the heart grow cold. The woman I only saw on weekends could never compare to the one who sat beside me every day. The one who guided me through my first steps at the company.
Her name was Kim Mina.
She had joined the company three years before me and was my mentor. She was competent, considerate, and had a warmth that my emotionally immature girlfriend lacked.
From the moment I met her, I was drawn in.
She had long, silky black hair, a beauty mark beneath her right eye, and slightly upturned eyes that gave her a sultry, almost seductive aura—like someone who might frequent clubs.
But she didn't.
In fact, she was clueless about romance.
She wasn't interested in men, nor was she the type to play around. She was simply kind to everyone.
Before college, I had never even dated.
I was passive in my relationships, always the one being pursued. But for the first time, I knew what it felt like to want someone.
The feelings I had for my girlfriend had never been love. I was sure of that now.
And so, two months after joining the company, I confessed my feelings to Mina during a business trip.
She accepted.
We have been together for one year and ten months now.
My girlfriend, of course, knew nothing.
Yes, I knew I was trash.
So why am I thinking about all this now?
Because my carefully built web of lies has finally collapsed.
Most of the office had already left for the evening.
But in one corner of the company, the sounds of a vicious argument echoed.
The office was in chaos—scattered documents, shattered glass, overturned chairs.
Two women stood in the middle of it all, their hands tangled in each other's hair, clawing and screaming.
"You fucking slut, I'll kill you!"
"Die first, bitch!"
Their faces were bruised, their hair disheveled. They had been fighting for a while now.
My girlfriend, Hye-young, seethed with rage.
"I've been with Si-hyun for eight years! Who the hell do you think you are to touch my man?"
"But now, he's my boyfriend! You barely even talked to him! You were practically broken up!"
I had told Mina that my relationship had already ended. That Hye-young and I had simply lost touch.
That wasn't true.
We still spoke—once a month.
Maybe that counted as being in a relationship. Maybe it didn't. I wasn't sure myself.
But right now, none of that mattered.
Because I couldn't move.
Earlier, when Hye-young shoved me in anger, my head slammed against the desk.
The shock, the pain—it blurred everything.
I felt cold.
Numb.
A pounding sensation rippled through my skull as my vision darkened.
And then, my thoughts stopped.
The fighting ceased.
Hye-young, mid-argument, suddenly froze, staring at something behind Mina.
Mina, sensing something was wrong, turned to follow her gaze.
Their furious screams fell into silence.
Because there, on the floor, lay Si-hyun.
A pool of red spread beneath his head.
The desk corner, still stained with his blood, revealed the moment he hit his head.
"Si-hyun? Si-hyun!"
A piercing scream shattered the office stillness.
But Si-hyun did not hear it.
His mind had already drifted into the depths of unconsciousness.
From the moment Hye-young pushed him, he had already been dying.
Darkness.
Cold.
An endless weight pressing against me.
Was it the confusion? The shock? The pain?
I couldn't tell anymore.
But strangely, I no longer felt cold.
My mind swayed, floating between awareness and sleep.
If I woke up, I would have to face them both.
I didn't want to wake up.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just… want to disappear.
What could I even say?
I really am trash…
I had led two women on at the same time, playing them against each other.
Loving one while keeping the other as an option.
But before I could reflect further, my thoughts began to blur.
My eyelids felt too heavy to lift.
A strange sensation crept over me.
The world around me seemed to grow.
No—
I was shrinking.