WINTER TERM - January 19th
It was snowing again when we left for the Marblebrooks' cottage - Aisling had decided to tag along and I figured Kelyn probably wouldn't mind. We would be making witch balls. Witch's balls? Her familiar trotted a few paces ahead of us, paws crunching through the snow. I could see her sometimes in flashes. A furred gray critter with folded black wings bobbing its head as it ran.
"Whim." Aisling tested the name. It was certainly an improvement over Noodle the Second. She turned back to me next. "Ripley Hodges is obsessed with her. It's terribly annoying. You better not let him make a habit out of crashing breakfast."
"Like how you didn't let Aries join us for lunch last term?"
Aisling groaned. "That's not even a little bit similar. Ripley is a creep who collects dead things in his room. Aries is a goofy idiot who came with a delightful golden-furred best friend. And besides, you and him are pretty attached at the hip these days. Don't think Noodle didn't mention that he saw you in Aries's room. Again. Can you please just admit that you're in love with him or whatever so we can all move on?"
There was an awkward beat. I wasn't quite stunned, but close. "I really didn't want you to have to learn about that through Noodle," I said. She was my best friend. It wasn't fair to her to have to hear about my life secondhand. "Sorry, Aisling. And my living out of Aries's room is only temporary. You've seen his room, right? It's a mess." But that wasn't the point.
So, I said, "Me and Aries, we're together or something… I should have told you."
Aisling snickered. "That sounds confident. Aries is still probably over the moon. Noodle and I have been calling you his boyfriend for months now behind your back. Aries gets all flustered but Noodle tells him we're manifesting."
What…? I shouldn't have been surprised. Aisling was half distracted, arm out to let Whim crawl up to perch upon her shoulder.
"We did manifest it, right?" she asked.
I rolled my eyes. "I'll talk to him about it. Eventually." Aries hadn't brought it up and I was happy just to let things stay as they were. It wasn't worth complicating things.
"Now you're just being ridiculous," Aisling said, but didn't push me any further. Even as she said nothing, the creature on her shoulder launched up into the air, screeching as it flew past my ear. If Whim was a part of her soul, it was the part of her that was still pissed at me.
Kelyn met me and Aisling at the door to the cottage before Aisling and I had even made it through the front gate. She wore a cardigan long enough it nearly grazed the ground as she crossed the front porch and in her free hand held a mug of tea, still steaming.
"Zephyr! I'd hoped you'd bring friends," she said. "No Aries this time?" I didn't miss the look Aisling shot me then either.
Kelyn pressed a kiss to my cheek before ushering me through the door. But Aisling answered first, "Shocker, I know. I'm forcing him into some Aisling time."
"He's mentioned you too, of course. Come on in," Kelyn said. I'm sure I'd talked about Aisling to Kelyn in passing, but I couldn't remember when exactly. It was more that I'd talked to her and she'd remembered, even as they'd never met.
"Though that, he didn't mention…" Kelyn went on. "Did you know you've got an attachment?" She stopped Aisling at the threshold with the subtle sweep of her hand. Her eyes narrowed not on Aisling but on the invisible thing at her shoulder. She could see it too?
"That's just my familiar," Aisling said. "Whim, still trying out names. She doesn't bite, but she does sometimes steal things. My things. Mostly."
Kelyn cocked her head. If she really could see it, this thing at first glance was definitely more than a little eye-catching. I just had to hope her irritation for Elandria's pigeon Boaz didn't necessarily extend to all familiars.
"Well, I have few rules for guests, one is that they can't be invisibile." Kelyn quickly launched into a quick casting gesture she flicked towards Aisling.
Whim shrieked a wheezy hiss. An explosion of wings and fur leaping up from Aisling's back. It flapped and fell. A gray puddle on the floor, it looked up, wide half-moon eyes. Seeing it again, I had to wonder if any part of it ever was once a half-drowned cat.
"Did I ever tell you that Aisling and I tried to summon familiars?" I asked Kelyn. Aisling scooped up Whim and held her to her chest. Whim's wings fluttered but settled quickly as her little raccoon paws found a new distraction pulling at a strand of Aisling's hair.
A kettle from the kitchen whistled and Kelyn waved us to follow. "You didn't mention that before," she said. "But I was curious. You're so new to magic. And most mages are usually pretty divisive on familiars. They either really want one or they don't."
"And you're the kind that doesn't?" Aisling asked.
Kelyn shrugged. "Maybe there's a third kind. I never really cared. Just had hoped to adopt a few cats at one point. So, I might be a little salty that my wife's attached herself to a very stupid, fat little bird for the rest of her life."
And speak of the devil. Boaz was waiting in the kitchen, perched on the back of a kitchen chair. He greeted us with a placid little coo.
Kelyn swatted at him, only for him to narrowly avoid the back of her hand, a little too unfazed.
Kelyn moved on quickly, refilling her mug from the kettle and pouring two more cups for me and Aisling. There was a box set out on the counter already with a mix of things - glass bottles, twine, candles. I was getting a sense now of what Elandria meant when she'd said crafts. Ritual and casting was one thing. I could figure out movements, but anything that actually thrived on creativity was going to be quite another. So long as it turns out better than the peppermint snowballs…
Kelyn sipped her tea. "You said you'd summoned one too, didn't you, Zephyr?" She'd caught that.
I shrugged. "I tried, but nothing's showed. Probably for the best anyway. My life is messy enough without something trying to steal my things." It was true enough. I'd tried the spell more out of curiousity than anything. Aisling was the one who'd hoped. It might have been slightly disappointing that nothing ever came of it, but nothing had changed.
"Unless you see a weird little ghost on him too?" Aisling asked. Hers, still clutched to her chest, was reaching up the sides of her mug of tea.
Kelyn frowned. "No. What kind of summoning did you use?"
I told her. As much as I could remember anyway. It wasn't like I had the book on me, especially now that Elandria had replaced it with that little blue shape-changer's spellbook.
"You sure it said death-less?" Kelyn asked. "Sounds a bit more like you looked for death-touched familiars. Some mages really go in for a spookier kind of friend, like your little Whim here."
"She's not that spooky," Aisling mumbled.
"I don't know what she is," Kelyn said. "But you're here about witch balls, right? Right. We should get to it."
I had good reason to worry over witch balls being a craft. I sucked at this. Kelyn reassured me more than once that it didn't need to look nice to work effectively, but what if it looked bad and also didn't work?
The core components at least were hard to screw up. Witch balls didn't keep someone from being able to scry, but instead forced the scrier to wade through a series of other memories, memories of my choice that could keep them out of my head for a decent amount of time. It used twine, a series of knots and spelled beads, a bottle, and a wax seal.
As for the memories, Kelyn told me Elandria had a few go-to's: mundane childhood birthdays, hours in the library researching for her thesis, a sleepy afternoon where she'd stayed in and watched it snow. I obviously wouldn't be using anything from the Court. Not when I was doing what I could to keep Ianthe from realizing where I was. It took me longer to come up with the memories I'd use. Kelyn told me, they don't all have to be happy memories. Because the more I thought about it, the more anything happy I could remember from the Stag's Court was all very much something I didn't want Ianthe to have. Most of them involved my mother. Maybe all of them, if I'm honest.
I strung together a thread of memories of evenings wasted at court functions and balls where I'd danced with Ianthe or did for pieces of it anyway. I'd never been squeamish, but now the thought of her stealing away with a new victim - how most of those nights ended up going - was suddenly turning my stomach.
"You don't have to finish it today," Kelyn said.
I did have to though. I wouldn't sleep in my room again without it. I managed five memories before Kelyn set a hand on my shoulder and said, "I think that's enough."
She helped seal the bottle. "The bottle will turn black when it's time to replace it," she explained. "You can recycle the bottle for your love potion at that point," Kelyn said. "Unless you've already finished it?"
Aisling hadn't been making a witch bottle but strung beads on thread to dangle in front of Whim. At the mention of love potion, she glanced up. Whim caught her thread of beads and rushed away with it.
I cleared my throat. It was better to just not make this a big deal. "Not just yet. It's uh… a little strong." It would have felt worse to lie and gods forbid she give me and Aries another batch. It wasn't like I could just say we hadn't even opened mine yet.
"Strong?" Kelyn said. "In what way exactly?"
If I squirmed a little under her stare, it was only because I was suddenly put so on the spot. There was no getting out of this.
"I might have uh… told Aries I was in love with him." It was awkward, but at least this was Kelyn and Aisling. If there was anyone I could talk to, it was them.
I knew they'd laugh. They did. Aisling loudly, Kelyn more of a smirk, but still she had to throw in, "It was just an aphrodisiac, Zephyr. It might have helped set the mood but it's sure as hell not strong enough to do that. I don't make potions like those."
Oh…
That was worse. A lot worse.
I tried to swallow my pride and pretend I hadn't just admitted something deeply personal and private. Kelyn at least had the grace to let the awkward silence stay what it was. Aisling nudged me with her elbow and snickered to herself. She reveled in this far more than she ought to.
Later, when we walked back to the Court, witch ball in hand, Aisling said, "You fell fast. It's cute."
"Can we please forget I said that. I don't even know-" because I didn't know. It had been a moment, after I'd accidentally scried on him, a fleeting feeling that felt true then, but now?
I don't know. I liked Aries. I knew that. Couldn't we just leave it at that?
At least, Aisling wasn't going to tell anyone about this. Even as she was still batting her eyes at me. Hazel eyes suddenly pastel pink. "You don't have to be so happy about all this," I said. But she nudged me as we walked, happy anyway.
I hung the witch ball from the wall sconce beside my bed from a little twine loop Kelyn had attached with the wax seal. It was a little ridiculous that something so small could make a difference in whether or not Ianthe could step into my head uninvited. It wasn't a perfect fix, but Aries said he'd drop by and help me trace all the sigils he's put up in his room around mine as well.
I hadn't spent any extended amount of time back here since that night Ianthe had dreamwalked on me. I knew I was avoiding it. Because that's what I did when things got hard. I ran. I was still running.
I was finally comfortable here at the Court. I was tired of running and maybe more notably, out of places to go. Though perhaps this was a first in some other ways too. I didn't want to run. Not from the Midnight Court. Not even Ianthe could change that.
It wasn't long before I heard Aries at the door- the quick barrage of fists. He drummed away until I opened it.
He chewed his lower lip. "Hey." Yeah, fine. Play it cool like you hadn't just been pounding at the door the last sixty seconds.
"Hi Aries." I stepped aside to let him in.
He was always a little out of place here, in my room. I knew he was uncomfortable, but maybe now I was too. It felt like the room had slipped into grayscale and he was the only thing in full color. He was the only piece of this room that felt alive.
"So you're spending the night in your own room," he said.
It was pathetic that I'd been too afraid not to. "Once the sigils are put up," I said, lest not forget why he was here.
Aries nodded along. Yeah. He spent a moment too long staring at his feet.
"I can practically hear you thinking," I said. "Out with it."
Aries winced. "It's really nothing, Zeph." He was such a shit liar. He tried again. "I liked that you stayed. That's all."
It was the smallest of confessions. And given it was Aries, it was obvious, but admitting it still meant something. And I hated his room— the cage fighters, the unmade bed, the dirty socks. I might not sleep there tonight, but unfortunately, gods help me, I'd be back there soon enough.
And then, I heard something from behind me. A low grumbling.
Aries had heard it too. We scrambled for the source. He peered around the couch. I crossed the room to see if there was anything hiding behind the far side of the bed.
Nothing.
But then, another sound. A yip followed by the quick tap of nails on wood.
It was under the bed.
Aries and I sunk down to see, giving it space. For a sudden terrifying second, I half expected to see a red-eyes, vampire woman ready to claw my eye out. But no. A different set of red eyes peered back.
"Is that… is that a dog?" Aries asked.
I laughed. Not quite a dog, no.
"I think it's my familiar."