Zzzz… zzz… zzzZ…
〔 System updating… 4%... 26%... 39%... 〕
'Hnnghh... Huh?'
'What's happening?'
〔 Update in progress… 62%... 87%... 〕
…
〔 System update complete. 〕
〔 New Feature Unlocked: Commentary Mode. 〕
'…What's that supposed to mean?'
〔 The System can now provide commentary and other useful features. 〕
'That's vague. What that "other useful features" supposed to mean?'
〔 ... 〕
'I don't like this silence. You're up to something, aren't you?'
〔 ... 〕
'Fine, whatever. If this update makes my life easier, I won't complain... much.'
It's been about a year and four months since Vincent arrived in this world.
He have what every isekai protagonist dreams of—a System.
A powerful, omnipotent guide that grants skills, bestows divine wisdom, and leads the protagonist to greatness!
…Except...
...it does none of that.
Instead, his System exists purely to mock him. And thanks to this update, it looks like it even became better at it.
〔 Congratulations! You have successfully failed to stand for the 78th time. 〕
'Shut up.'
〔 Would you like to purchase a baby walker? Oh, wait—you have no money. 〕
'If I could uninstall you, I would.'
Despite their rocky relationship, He actually made real progress.
He can now crawl with some dignity, stand without immediately faceplanting, and even take a few wobbly steps.
Not exactly the majestic image he had in mind—no flowing robes, no aura of wisdom, no divine presence.
Instead, he's just a chubby toddler with occasional balance issues.
And then, it happened.
Vincent was sitting in his crib, contemplating life, when a blue screen suddenly popped up before him.
'Haaa. This system was really trying to kill me via shock.'
[ Status Window ]
————————————————
Name: Vincent Vel Sera
Age: 1 year
Essence Affinity: ???
System Integration: 3%
Stats:
Strength: 0.5 (You can almost properly lift a spoon!)
Agility: 0.3 (A newborn deer has better coordination.)
Intelligence: 12 (At least your brain works.)
Perception: 3 (Barely better than a potato.)
Charisma: 6 (Babies are naturally cute—don't get cocky.)
Abilities:
Essence Sensory (Beginner) – You can feel the mystical energies of the world! Barely. Try harder.
Motor Skills (Struggling) – You are no longer an invertebrate. Progress!
Basic Speech (Locked) – Stop babbling and try forming real words, you overgrown jellybean.
Skills:
Still not worth mentioning.
————————————————
Vincent stared at the screen, his tiny brain struggling to process what he was seeing.
'A status window. A real status window.'
'The System really was like an RPG system. And worse—IT HAD BEEN SECRETLY JUDGING ME THIS WHOLE TIME?'
'Hey, wait... Hold on… 0.3 agility? Are you serious?'
〔 Yes. Very. Your attempt at walking last night resembled a drunken duck. 〕
'I hate you.'
〔 That's fair. 〕
'Still, this was a breakthrough. If I had this stats, that meant I could improve them. I could train. Like an RPG character.'
Thus, his Baby Training Arc began.
~ Trial and Error (Mostly Error) ~
————————————————
Another Bucket List:
————————————————
Goal: Walk.
GreatestEnemy: My own head.
————————————————
Babies are hilariously unbalanced.
His oversized head was a weight constantly pulling him forward, like trying to balance a watermelon on a pencil. After a week of relentless effort, he managed three whole steps before collapsing.
A great victory!
〔 New Record! Distance Walked: 1 meter! Try not to fall next time. 〕
'I will destroy you one day.'
〔 Good luck with that, baby man. 〕
Encouraged by his progress, He moved on to strength training.
He had no gym, no weights, and no personal trainer.
But he did have… his mother's hair.
One day, while she was holding Vincent, he grabbed onto a strand with every ounce of strength he had.
'I pulled.
She shrieked.
And then—'
〔 Strength: 0.6 → 0.7 (Your grip is now slightly stronger than wet noodles!) 〕
'It worked. IT ACTUALLY WORKED!'
Before he could celebrate, he was introduced to another crucial life lesson: consequences. His mother, normally loving and gentle, was not amused. The next thing he knew, I was under a relentless tickle assault.
Now, he had endured hardships before. He had trained. He even tried cultivating his mana. But nothing—nothing—had prepared him for the sheer agony of being tickled.
He squirmed. He flailed. He made werid noises that were neither dignified nor manly.
And, of course, the System found this hilarious.
〔 NewStatusEffect: Helpless Infant (Duration: 10 years) 〕
'YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO HELP!'
~ Discovering His Affinity ~
Despite his minor setbacks, training was paying off. His balance improved, his grip strengthened, and He could now walk a full five meters before tumbling over.
And then—it happened.
One evening, as he was attempting (and failing spectacularly) to levitate a spoon, the status window popped up again.
〔 New Status Update! 〕
————————————————
Essence Affinity: Space & Time
New Ability Unlocked: Spatial Perception Lv.??? (Beginner)
————————————————
He froze, blinked, and then internally screamed out of joy.
'WAIT, WAIT, WAIT—SPACE AND TIME?!'
'This was it. This was the jackpot. The "Congratulations! You won the genetic lottery!" moment.'
Space and Time abilities were absurdly powerful.
'Teleportation, time manipulation, dimensional storage—the possibilities were endless!
I had ascended. I was no longer just a baby. I was a baby with cosmic power!'
'So… what does Spatial Perception do?'
〔 Congratulations! You can now vaguely tell where are the objects around you. 〕
'…That's it?'
〔 Yes. Basically, you unlocked ultra-low-budget echolocation. What did you even tried to expect? 〕
'This is the worst power awakening ever.'
'Still, this was huge.
Essence Affinity was rare. Space & Time was practically unheard of.
I had potential.
I would master this power.
I would defy fate.
But first…
I really needed to learn how not to trip over my own feet.
One step at a time.'
And so, his journey continued.
Though, he still had the body of a potato, the motor skills of a malfunctioning puppet, and the dignity of a clown. But now he had a clear goal, a System (as annoying as it was), and a newfound power.
'One day, I wouldn't just be Vincent Vel Sera, a noble baby struggling to walk.
I would be Vincent Vel Sera, Master of Space and Time!'
〔 . . . 〕
'Wow. That sounds really cool.
Ha. Haha. Hahahahaha'
〔 No, man. That's actually really cringe. 〕
'…I take back every nice thing I just thought about you.'
〔 Good. Stay humble boy. You still need to eat many rice before actually achieving something great like that. Though, I doubt there's rice in this world. 〕
'Man, you're making me hungry. Are there really no rice here?'
With his new power—no matter how underwhelming—it was time to push his limits.
〔 Narrator, where did that even came from? 〕
'Huh, who are you talking to?'
〔 Nothing. 〕
~ The Path to Mastery (of Not Falling) ~
Since his "ultra-low-budget echolocation" was basically useless for combat (or anything remotely cool), he decided to test it in practical ways.
For starters, He tried sensing objects in his room with his eyes closed.
'A chair? There. A table? Over there. A wall? Right in front of me.'
He walked forward confidently, filled with the spirit of discovery.
'BAM!'
…Right into the wall.
'Arghh, where did this even came from?'
〔 Spatial Perception Lv.??? → Still completely useless. 〕
'You're enjoying this, aren't you?'
〔 Immeasurably. I mean, not really. 〕
Despite setbacks (and a throbbing forehead), he kept at it. Day by day, his steps grew steadier. His grip strength improved. His balance was no longer dictated by the laws of comedy.
And, after months of grueling effort…
He achieved the impossible.
He can now walk across the room without falling.
〔 Achievement Unlocked: Toddler Status Acquired! 〕
'Finally! Victory is mine!'
〔Congratulations! You've reached the level of an average one-year-old. Truly, an effort worth of inspiration. 〕
'One day, System. One day.'
Now that he could move properly, it was time to test his genius talent.
~ The Grand Essence Experiment ~
Since his "levitate spoon" attempts always result in a disaster, he went back to basics—feeling the mana energy around him.
At first, nothing happened.
Then…
A tiny ripple in the air.
'It was faint, barely noticeable, but I could feel it.'
He focused harder. Sweat formed on his tiny forehead. His breathing slowed. The spoon trembled.
It shifted—just a little.
Then… it shot up.
Straight into his face.
〔 New Status Effect: Bruised Nose (Duration: 1 Hour) 〕
'Pain is temporary. Progress is forever.'
〔 Or, in your case, pain might be eternal. 〕
Ignoring the System's nonsense, he grinned. This was a proof that he improved controlling his mana.
He wasn't just a helpless baby anymore.
He was a helpless baby with power. Yeah, that's it.
Man, our dear readers are too confused. That's weird starting from being serious to this hilariousness.
〔 Well, I guess the author himself is weird. So there's really nothing wrong with that. 〕
"Huh?"
The journey to greatness had truly begun.