Why didn't anybody ever tell me how painful it fucking was?
Okay, I heard it was kind of painful, but they said that it kind of dissipates quickly. This was not done quickly. It hurt like a bitch and went on for forever. I found myself cursing, and I don't curse. I was regretting every point that took me here right now.
And just when I had gotten my bearings, I looked towards Caesar, and he was frozen. He was tense, and his voice was filled with anger and accusations as he said.
"What the hell was that?" he asked.
I just shook my head. I didn't know what Caesar was talking about. What the hell was what?
"What the hell was that?" he repeated, his voice growing angrier.
"I am on the pill," I said, a nervous laugh escaping me.
"Did I just feel your hymen? Is that the smell of blood? Are you a virgin?" he enunciated each word, his voice laced with anger.
You should have seen his face.
Trying to lighten the mood, I said, "Well, not anymore."
This only made him angrier. His hands went towards my waist as he tried to pull me off him.
"No! Stop! Stop! Stop! It hurts! It hurts! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!" I shouted.
He stopped as if he had been burned. His hands hovered in the air, not touching me. He looked at me, angry, puzzled, confused, lost. Like he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to handle this.
If he was going to try and pull me, off him again it was going to hurt. This was proved when he moved, it hurt like a bitch. So the two of us just sat there quietly, me impaled on him.
He was getting softer by the second, angrier by the second. Just stared at me, his whole face radiating with anger as if he wished to strangle me. Which, given the circumstances, he probably could.
After a while, he just kept getting softer, and I started panicking because the pain wasn't subsiding.
"Why is it so painful?" I asked.
"This is why I don't do virgins," he replied dryly.
"Well, it's too late for that now, isn't it? Why don't you stop complaining and actually help me here? I thought you were some kind of a sex God or something."
"How do you want me to help you? The only thing I want to do is get out of here."
"You're already in there. You're already inside me. So, if it's your pride, it's already in the mud. If it's your rules, they're already broken. "
"Yes, thanks so much to you. I knew I should not have gone to see that girl. I knew that going to hookups in girl's dorms always creates problems. And look at me now." He said gesturing towards our connected bodies.
"Well, I don't see you in pain. I seem to be the only one in pain. Why are you the one who's lamenting and complaining? "
"What do you want me to do? What do you want me to fucking do?"
I didn't know what either, but I was nervous.
", I don't know either but if you were to get me wet again...get me ready... I don't know, maybe this will be better and my vagina will actually let you go, you know? Then it won't hurt as much, you know?"
He started laughing. "So I'm getting sexual advice from a virgin now."
"It's not sexual advice, and I'm not a virgin anymore. You just took it. Like there's a man for me now for life...."
"Oh my God...." He groaned
"Come on, it really hurts. Do something. You're already in there. Don't you think it would just make you even madder if you're already there and you just leave without actually doing anything since you already did take my virginity? Why don't you just test your theory? Why don't you taste it to see how it feels? Why don't you just, you know, get your fill? You told me you want your fill. Why don't you just take it?" I said, hoping I was tempting or convincing. Whichever of the two as long as he does the deed.
"I am not going to hurt you, okay? I don't even know your name." He said frustrated
I started laughing, which was weird because he was already inside me and I doubted he knew my roommate's name.
"You know all the girls you sleep with names?" I asked sarcastically.
And then, I started playing with myself, my hand going towards my clit. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his piercing gaze. I felt it. I started moaning softly. And I felt him getting a little harder inside me.
Suddenly, he groaned, his voice filled with anger.
"You know what? Fine! Do you want me to fuck you?. All right. I'm going to fuck you."
"It's about time I told him," as I moved closer to him and tried to kiss him.
He stopped me with his hand, his finger on my mouth, as his other hand went towards my hair. He caressed me for a moment before he tugged my hair down, hard. forcing my face up and my neck down, pulling me to lie on the car dashboard.
"Brace yourself," he said, his face close to mine. "I'm not here to make love to you. I'm not here to make you feel better about yourself. I'm going to fuck you so hard, you'll be scouting the world for a man who can give you what I can give you."
"Too many words and no actions," I said back, with a sly smile.
Who was I at this moment??
"You know what?" he said, a dark edge to his voice. "Since I'm already here breaking my rules, I might as well wipe them off."
And then he attacked me, kissing me again, harder, this time meaning business. He kissed me, he pinched me, he bit me. He was everywhere and nowhere at once. Though he was already hard inside me, the way he was making me feel, the wetness that had gathered in my centre, made me forget the pain. I wanted him to move. I wanted to feel him inside me.
I wanted more ...
Before I could second-guess myself, I started moving on top of him, up and down, up and down. It stung a little, but as I continued, it felt better and better. And then it felt good. It felt so so goood..?
I was moaning, feeling something I never knew I could feel. I never knew it could feel this good. What was happening to me? I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.