"Hey! Where are you right now?"
Hyung-joon asks me where I am, his voice all worked up.
Oh, fuck. It really seems like he found out I fucked his mom.
I'd rather just take a few punches and call it even.
He's not gonna cut ties with me over this, right?
Sure, I fucked Hyung-joon's mom because she was too damn hot, but a friend as good as Hyung-joon is hard to come by. Should I just come clean and say, "Dude, your mom was so hot I couldn't help it"?
No way. If I'm that honest, with Hyung-joon's timid personality, he'd flip out and never talk to me again. Better play dumb for now.
"Uh, I'm at home."
"Home? Dude, come pick me up quick. Fuck, I'm losing my mind. Seriously."
Huh? What?
So it's not about that.
But why's he asking me to pick him up? What's going on now?
Since I feel guilty about Hyung-joon anyway, if he's in a bind, I should go right away.
If I help him out like this normally, maybe he'll go easy on me later if he finds out about me and his mom?
I answered right away.
"Where are you at?"
"Uh, I'm in Sillim-dong right now."
"Sillim-dong where? It's not like all of Sillim-dong is your house."
Hyung-joon lowered his voice and said,
"Dude, your mom's not listening, right? I'm at the Romance Motel. Hurry up and bring 50,000 won. Fuck, I'm going crazy."
50,000 won?
Man, why are so many people asking me for money this morning?
Still, I'll probably owe Hyung-joon a lot of apologies in the future, so I didn't feel the least bit stingy about it.
"Alright, I'll head over now."
"Uh, dude, thanks. You're the best. I'll wait—hurry up."
I shoveled down my food, grabbed my phone and wallet, and headed out.
Mom followed me with the rice paddle in hand.
Worried I'd get whacked again, I quickly shielded my back.
"Hey! Where are you off to now? You didn't even finish eating!"
"Uh, Mom, I'm meeting Hyung-joon. He says he's got an emergency and needs to see me real quick."
"Seriously, what are you, dating him? You slept at his place last night too. You kids don't study and just mess around all the time. You're not out chasing girls or something, are you? Don't you know a man's purity is important?"
"Ugh, Mom, what's with the gross talk? Anyway, I'm heading out. I'll be back soon."
I brushed Mom off vaguely and grabbed a taxi.
But seriously, Mom's been saying weird stuff since earlier.
"A man's purity is important"?
If you're a man, shouldn't you be out meeting this girl and that girl in your youth, living it up?
"Taxi!"
Screech!
A taxi pulled up.
It's Saturday morning, so catching one was easy.
"Where to?"
Huh? A high-pitched voice.
The driver's a woman this time?
What a weird day.
"Sillim-dong, Romance Motel."
"Huh? A motel?"
The lady driver sounded a bit surprised and asked again.
What's the big deal?
A grown man can go to a motel.
Oh, maybe because I'm alone without a girl?
Yeah, that's kinda odd.
"Yes, please hurry."
"Oh, alright…"
Vrooom!
The lady driver handled the taxi skillfully.
I'd always thought women couldn't drive well, but watching her, that's clearly not true.
Not every woman is a terrible driver like the stereotypes say.
She cruised down the road smoothly, like a veteran.
I was dozing off when the driver kept pestering me with questions.
"So, you look like a young student. How old are you?"
"Me? Twenty."
"Oh, really? No wonder you're so cute. All fresh and youthful."
Her eyes in the rearview mirror had a sly, knowing glint.
It's the kind of look you see in porn when a bald old creep leers at a virgin—like a familiar, perverted stare.
Wait, am I getting harassed here?
"Oh, don't get the wrong idea. I'm just saying this because you're cute like my nephew. You're handsome and fit—bet you're super popular at school. Got a girlfriend?"
Ugh, why does this lady keep eyeing my body creepily and asking weird questions?
I answered half-heartedly, not really engaging.
If she were a hot, sexy lady, maybe I'd chat, but I didn't want to talk much with this goofy, sly woman who looked like comedian Yoo Ji-seok.
Screech!
Before I knew it, the taxi pulled up at the Romance Motel in Sillim-dong.
The driver suddenly pulled out a business card and handed it to me.
"Hey, if you're ever bored, give me a call. I'll treat you to a meal. No weird intentions—just think of you like my cute nephew, okay?"
Ugh…
It was the kind of cheap line a creepy guy might use to hit on a young girl.
Not wanting to talk anymore, I kept it short.
"Oh, sure."
I took the card, paid the fare, and got out.
Then I crumpled up the lady driver's card and tossed it in the trash.
Man, today's so weird.
I called Hyung-joon on Katalk.
Ddaradan-da, ddanda, ddaradan-da~
"Hello?"
He picked up.
"Hey, dude, I'm at the Romance Motel. Come out to the lobby quick."
"Alright, I'll be right there."
I waited in the motel lobby for a bit, and soon Hyung-joon showed up, looking haggard.
This guy must've fucked like crazy last night.
Looks like he emptied out every last drop of protein he had.
But wait?
Was Hyung-joon always this short?
He seemed smaller than usual today.
"Dude, you brought the 50,000 won, right?"
"Man, seriously? First thing you say is about money? You've got no loyalty, you jerk."
"Alright, alright, I get it. Just give me the cash first. Fuck, I'm losing it—because of that bitch Hyera."
I pulled a crumpled 50,000-won bill from my pocket and handed it to him.
Hyung-joon let out a big sigh of relief, like he'd been saved.
"Here. Pay me back by next week."
"Don't worry, dude. You think I'd stiff you?"
Well, true. His family's loaded—he's not the type to dodge a debt.
With the money in hand, Hyung-joon went to the motel entrance and paid for the room.
Usually, it's prepaid, but I guess they allow post-payment here too.
"Dude, seriously, you saved my ass. Fuck, that bitch Hyera fucked me and ditched without paying. What kind of chick doesn't even cover the motel bill and just bolts? She's not even some broke-ass bum."
Huh? What kind of nonsense is this?
Don't guys usually pay for the motel?
Since when did Korea become this paradise where women foot the bill?
"Dude, you didn't have any money? You went to meet a girl without cash?"
"What are you talking about? Why would I bring money to meet a girl? Fuck, I figured that bitch Hyera would cover it, so I came light. Guess I came too light—didn't even bring my wallet. Shit. That fucking Hyera. She got me drunk just to fuck me…"
Since when did this guy turn into a leech living off women?
And Hyera got him drunk to fuck him? Not the other way around?
Ugh, whatever.
Today's been full of weird shit all day.
"Dude, if you didn't bring your wallet, how are you getting home?"
Hyung-joon looked at me with pitiful eyes.
"Dude, lend me another 30,000 won."
Oh, fuck. Seriously.
I'm only giving it to you because I feel bad about banging your mom.
So if you ever find out, just punch me a few times and let it go, alright, Hyung-joon?
I pulled 30,000 won from my wallet and shoved it at him.
"Dude, Si-won, you're on fire today. Manly as hell. Next week, I'll pay you back and treat you to food."
Huh? Was Hyung-joon's voice always this high-pitched?
In just one day, this guy seems shorter and his voice is higher.
Guess he fucked that Hyera chick so hard yesterday his throat's shot.
Then my Katalk pinged.
Katalk! You've got a message!
I slowly picked up my phone to check.
Gulp.
It's from Hyung-joon's mom.
I checked it discreetly so Hyung-joon wouldn't see.
[Son Na-eun: Si-won-ah, today was a mistake. Really. Please don't message me anymore.]
Hmm…
"Don't message me anymore…"
It's one of the responses I'd half-expected from Hyung-joon's mom.
But with that seductive face, firm breasts, plump ass, and tight pussy?
No way I'm giving up that easily.
Also, her name's Son Na-eun, huh.
A sexy, pretty name that matches her face.
Na-eun-ssi…
Man, it rolls off the tongue so well.
"Dude, who's messaging you that you're hiding it like that?"
Hyung-joon sidled up, trying to peek at my phone.
"Hey! Chill, man. I've got girls I talk to too. You're not the only one."
"What? Si-won, you've got a girl? Acting all innocent and quiet, huh. They say the quiet cats climb the stove first. Where'd you meet her? What's she like?"
Did this guy eat something weird?
Calling a dude "innocent"?
Anyway, I can't exactly say, "The girl I'm seeing is your mom!"
Oh, perfect timing.
I played it cool and said to Hyung-joon,
"You know Se-kyung, right? Shin Se-kyung."
"What? Se-kyung? That delinquent chick from our high school?"
"Yeah, her. Se-kyung."
"Whoa, fuck. You're in touch with Se-kyung? I was actually curious about her lately. What's she up to these days?"
"Uh, she's working as a fitness instructor at a gym now."
I mean, I only found that out this morning, but whatever.
Let's just sell Se-kyung out to dodge this mess.
Knowing Hyung-joon's personality, he'd pester me nonstop until I told him who I was seeing.
"So, you're dating Se-kyung? She had a bad rep back in school—rumored to be messing around with this guy and that. Though, I heard later it was all bullshit."
"Huh? What was bullshit?"
"Dude, you're seeing her and don't even know? Everyone thought she was some slutty delinquent who fucked around all the time because she hung with the tough crowd and acted wild. But turns out she was actually pretty proper. Not easy for a girl like that. There's even a rumor she's still a virgin. Anyway, good luck with her, man."
Huh? So Se-kyung wasn't as wild sexually as people thought?
Suddenly, I started liking her even more.
Of course, Hyung-joon's mom is insanely hot too, but a virgin's got its own charm.
While I was lost in thought, Hyung-joon smacked my shoulder.
"Dude, let's go. Man, I feel like shit—I'm taking a taxi home. Get home safe. I'll rest tomorrow and see you Monday."
"Yeah, alright. Dude, seriously, your voice and everything—you look rough. Rest up."
"For real. Woke up this morning and my voice was like this. Hope it's not that. Anyway, I'm out. I'll call you. Taxi!"
Hyung-joon grabbed a cab and disappeared fast.
Haah…
I'm exhausted. Banging Hyung-joon's mom since dawn, taking the subway home, then rushing to Sillim-dong because of this guy.
Screw it.
I'm dead tired—money can wait. I'll take a taxi too.
I flagged another cab.
And ironically, this time the driver was a woman again.
A young, pretty one at that.
Man, fuck.
A young, hot chick driving a taxi is nice and all, but…
Today's so weird.
Is this a lucky day or a bad one?