Not long after Lulu had delivered her third exposé—this time on Cousin Carlos, who also happened to be Uncle Eduardo's son, Uncle Eddie surged to his feet, knocking over his chair in the process.
"This is defamation!" he roared, his voice shaking with fury and desperation. "This… this girl is lying! This whole thing is a sham! How do we even know Amelia sent her?! I demand she be removed from the stage immediately!"
A delicious ripple passed through the crowd—part shock, part glee, part the thrill of watching a house of cards collapse in real time.
Lulu didn't flinch or respond. She didn't need to.
An elderly woman in the third row stood up with surprising agility for someone wearing orthopedic shoes.
"Sit your lying ass down, Eduardo," she snapped. "You didn't seem too concerned about 'defamation' when you were slut-shaming a child and paying off students under the table."
Several murmurs of agreement rang out.
"She's just a girl!" someone else added. "And she's speaking for Amelia. You want to silence Amelia even from the grave now? Why? Feeling guilty?"
Eduardo opened his mouth, but another voice cut through.
"Oh please," scoffed a young woman, likely another cousin that Lulu wasn't sure how she was related to Amelia, sipping from a flask presumed to be filled with alcohol. "You all knew he was a little off…you just didn't say anything because he usually paid for and hosted the Christmas dinner."
Rosalinda tugged on Eduardo's sleeve, eyes burning holes through his reputation. "Sit. Down. You're only making it worse."
Reluctantly, Eduardo slumped back into his seat after fumbling around to raise his fallen chair, jaw clenched so tightly it looked like it might shatter.
Lulu raised her eyebrows. "Okay, well… Now, where were we?"
She clicked the remote.
The slide read:
"Cousin Alicia: The Backstabber"
A fast-paced montage of pictures and bullet points flicked by.
Thankfully, Amelia had a habit of saving everything and for the evidence in this entire presentation, all Lulu had needed was access to Amelia's email—and a few hours of digital excavation. No storage lockers were required this time.
Cousin Alicia had always styled herself as the "cool older cousin," the one who gave Amelia advice about eyeliner and boys but then turned around and slept with Amelia's boyfriend Jedd… while Amelia was still dating him. Lulu clicked to a grainy photo from a backyard party—Alicia and Jedd clearly tangled up in more than a friendly hug behind a building.
From the audience, Alicia shouted, "It was a drunken mistake!"
Lulu didn't even blink. "That happened 19 times."
Alicia's face turned a dangerous shade of red as gasps and a few snorts rippled across the room. From just behind her, Carlos—Amelia's most recent ex—scooted forward in his chair and casually rested a hand on Alicia's shoulder to "comfort" her.
Seeing Carlos' attempts to get into her cousin's pants, Amelia muttered in a voice dripping with disdain: "Oh please! Why is he so relaxed looking at this presentation? Did he think just because we only broke up the day before I died that I wouldn't have time to add him to the presentation?"
More gasps. A few people laughed outright at Alicia's embarrassment. Someone coughed up their drink.
But even if someone sounded like they were choking to death, the show must go on.
...
Lulu clicked again. "Great Aunt Myra? "The one who used to tell Amelia she was 'too sensitive' and should 'stop crying so much' after her mom died?"
"Also, Amelia wanted you all to know that Great Aunt Myra's 'famous homemade cake'? Yeah—store-bought. Frozen. From Bal-mart."
....
"Cousin Julian? Remember that GoFundMe for his life-threatening 'surgery'? Amelia sacrificed and ate instant ramen only for a month to help him. But that money was used to pay for a weekend in Vegas and his pec implants—those abs were not obtained in the gym."
Julian slumped deeper into his seat, grumbling, "Whatever. They still look good…"
...….
The mood had shifted from heavy tension to controlled chaos. Some audience members looked appalled, but others were openly thriving. Cell phones were out. One woman even had a baggy of snacks she took out from her purse and was munching on it.
Lulu let them revel for a moment before clearing her throat.
"And now," she said, "it's time for the grand finale."
Click.
The screen read:
"My Boyfriend Carlos: When Trash Takes Human Form"
Lulu let out what was probably the most genuine smile of the night. She had heard the most about this ex, and seeing his pitiful little performance earlier, and now watching his expression morph from smug and flirtatious while looking at the cousin, to pale and panicked was pure satisfaction.
"This," she said, "is Carlos. I believe you all got to witness his very touching speech earlier."
A photo appeared on the screen. Carlos, looking smug in a muscle shirt, arm around Amelia at what looked like a Fourth of July cookout. He was holding a sparkler. Amelia was looking away.
"Now, some of you may know Carlos as Amelia's longtime boyfriend. They were together for three years. Amelia thought she'd found someone she could trust. Someone who supported her through the crap at home."
Click.
Another photo—Carlos at a bar, arm around another girl. Timestamped: three months before Amelia's death.
"Turns out, Carlos was more into... extra credit."
Gasps again. This time with an edge of betrayal and even stronger anger than all of the previous exposes. After all, all the other people Lulu talked about previously were still family, and although some may have revelled in the drama, many were also silently seething at this shameful exposal of their family affairs to outsiders. However, Carlos was 100% an outsider not related to anyone there, and so they could dump all of their pent-up fury onto him.
Click.
Screenshots of messages appeared.
Carlos: "She's so clingy. I swear, if I didn't feel sorry for her, I'd be gone already."
Unknown Girl: "Then leave??"
Carlos: "Nah. We have some shared friends now. I'll leave once I'm confident I could turn them against her. You know how it is. "
There were audible sounds of disgust now. A few people booed.
"But wait," Lulu said, "he did get dumped."
She clicked again. A screen shot of the message Amelia sent to him to break up.
Amelia: "We're done. You don't get to use me. Not anymore."
The next screenshot?
Carlos: "You're gonna regret this."
Click.
Although they hadn't broken up for long, I can confidently say that until her last breath she had no regrets and especially revelled in adding this slide to the presentation."
Lulu inhaled, readying herself.
"Last, but absolutely not least—Cousin Valentina."