Sora, with the strength of a thousand oxen (or at least, like, a really strong ox), yeeted Ethan through the opening.
He landed on solid ground with a *thud* that probably registered on some ancient seismograph.
Dust and the faint scent of old magic filled the air, a delightful combination, really, if you're into that sort of thing.
And Ethan?
Well, he was starting to be.
Right in the center of what looked like a ridiculously oversized chessboard – seriously, who plays chess with pieces the size of small cars?
– was a teleportation array.
And hovering above it, because *of course* it was hovering, was a jade seal.
This wasn't just any jade seal, oh no.
This one had "Wan Yao Mu" (Mother of All Medicines) carved into it in characters so fancy, Ethan's brain nearly short-circuited trying to process them.
Luckily, his "Ridiculous Immortal Journey" system kicked in, translating it faster than Google Translate on a caffeine binge.
Before Ethan could even say "Wait, what?", two figures materialized near the array.
One was Lina, the envoy from the Celestial Abode, looking like she'd just stepped out of a cultivation-themed Vogue photoshoot.
Her eyes, sharp as daggers and twice as deadly, were fixed on the seal.
"The power to control all spiritual herbs... it's finally within reach," she murmured, her voice dripping with ambition thicker than honey.
The other figure was...
Lucas.
*Ugh*.
But wait!
This one flickered like a bad hologram.
A puppet?
*Double ugh*.
Puppet-Lucas, with that signature smug smile that made Ethan want to punch something, chuckled, a sound that grated on the ears like a rusty gate swinging in a hurricane.
"Such lofty aspirations, Envoy Lina," he said, his voice a pre-recorded message of pure condescension.
"But this treasure belongs to the Azure Cloud Sect. It always has."
Ethan's internal monologue was basically a string of panicked emojis.
He was caught between a rock and a hard place, or, more accurately, between a power-hungry envoy and a manipulative puppet master.
It was like being the last slice of pizza at a party full of starving cultivators.
The system, bless its quirky digital heart, flashed a message: **"Ancient Array Deciphered! Jade Seal Activation Requires: Power of a Reversed Heavenly Tribulation."**
"Reversed Heavenly Tribulation?" Ethan muttered, scratching his head.
"Is that even a *thing*?"
As if on cue, Mia's spirit core, still safely tucked away (for now), began to pulse with an eerie light, resonating with the jade seal.
Another system message popped up, this one less helpful and more panic-inducing: **"Warning! Backlash Countdown Initiated!"**
Ethan's internal monologue went from panicked emojis to full-on screaming.
He had to do *something*.
His eyes darted to the seal.
He had to get to it.
Maybe?
Probably?
He activated Drunken Immortal Steps, figuring that if he was going to die, he might as well do it looking ridiculously stylish.
He weaved and wobbled towards the seal, a drunken butterfly of impending doom.
But Lina, ever the buzzkill, moved with the speed of a caffeinated cheetah.
Her puppet, a sleek, sword-wielding automaton that looked like it belonged in a futuristic anime, blocked his path.
The sword, shimmering with an unsettling purple glow, was *way* too close for comfort.
"Not so fast, little rogue," Lina purred, her voice a silken threat.
Then, because things weren't chaotic enough, Lucas decided to up the ante.
From the teleportation array, thorny vines, black as midnight and pulsing with an unholy energy, shot out.
"噬魂藤" (Soul-Devouring Vines)!
Ethan recognized them from one of those ancient texts he'd "accidentally" translated.
They weren't exactly known for their gentle touch.
The vines wrapped around Mia, their thorns digging into… well, she didn't exactly have flesh, but they were definitely messing with her spiritual essence.
Mia let out a sound, not of pain, but of pure, unadulterated *annoyance*.
Ethan's system, in a rare moment of actual usefulness, unlocked a new form of the "Almighty Tofu of the Cosmos": **"Ultimate Form: Tofu Shield!"**
A giant, shimmering block of tofu materialized around Mia, deflecting the vines.
It was… surprisingly effective.
But the array, apparently not a fan of tofu-based defenses, retaliated.
A wave of energy slammed into Ethan, and he, well, he threw up.
But this wasn't your average, run-of-the-mill vomit.
This was a *rainbow* of regurgitated energy, a technicolor display of magical indigestion.
Lina, never one to miss an opportunity, took advantage of Ethan's technicolor moment.
She grabbed his wrist, her grip surprisingly strong.
Her touch, the cold of a blade that had been buried in the ice for the end.
"You will be more helpful." she said softly.
Her eyes, narrowed and gleaming, met his.
"Let's see."
Ethan, having been yeeted towards the ceiling like a particularly enthusiastic cork from a champagne bottle, found himself blinking dust out of his eyes in a… well, it wasn't *exactly* what he expected.
Instead of, say, freedom, he was in another cavern.
A much *nicer* cavern.
Think less "damp bat cave" and more "five-star grotto with mood lighting."
"Where am I?" he mumbled, rubbing his head.
"Did Sora just invent a new, incredibly rude way to deliver people?"
A voice, smooth as silk and about as trustworthy as a used-car salesman's smile, answered him.
"Welcome, Ethan. To the Crossroads."
He spun around (a bit unsteadily, because, you know, *being thrown through the air*).
Standing there was a woman who looked like she'd stepped out of a painting of a particularly glamorous celestial empress.
Lina, emissary of the Tianji Pavilion (Heavenly Secret Pavilion), had arrived.
And she looked *way* too interested in him for Ethan's comfort.
"The Crossroads?" Ethan echoed, feeling a distinct lack of crossroads-y-ness.
"Looks more like a…fancy waiting room. Are there complimentary snacks?"
Lina chuckled, a sound like wind chimes designed to lure unsuspecting heroes to their doom.
"Of sorts. Consider the choices before you the snacks. Choose wisely, and you might find them… quite delectable."
Before Ethan could ask if "delectable" came with a side of "probably poisoned," the air crackled with barely-contained power.
Another portal shimmered into existence, revealing none other than Lucas, his face arranged in that infuriatingly perfect mask of concern he always wore.
"Ethan, my dear disciple!" Lucas's voice dripped with false sincerity.
"Are you alright? I was so worried when I heard of the… *disturbance*." His eyes flicked to Lina, the 'concern' hardening into something sharp and dangerous.
"Emissary Lina. What an unexpected… pleasure."
Lina's smile didn't falter.
"Chief Disciple Lucas. The pleasure, I assure you, is all mine. We were just discussing young Ethan's… *potential*."
Ethan felt like a particularly juicy bone being fought over by two very large, very well-groomed dogs.
One was offering him a suspiciously shiny apple, the other a seemingly warm, comforting blanket that probably hid a dozen daggers.
"Potential for what?" Ethan asked, trying to sound more confident than he felt.
He was still at the Qi Refining stage, for crying out loud!
These two were probably at least Golden Core, maybe even Nascent Soul.
He was basically a fluffy bunny in a lion's den...
a lion's den with *two* lions.
"For greatness, of course," Lina purred, her eyes gleaming.
"The Tianji Pavilion recognizes talent. We nurture it. We… *reward* it."
"The Qingyun Sect has always been Ethan's home," Lucas countered smoothly, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword in a way that was *definitely* not threatening at all.
"We have nurtured him, guided him. He is one of us."
Ethan glanced between them, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead.
He has to choose a side, doesn't he?
The all-powerful Tianji Pavilion, with their secrets and promises, or the increasingly tyrannical Qingyun Sect, with its… well, with Lucas, mostly.
He opened his mouth and spoke what was truth.
"Actually, I am not! You kicked me out, remember?"
He had an idea.
"It's all rather simple, really," Ethan said, injecting a note of forced calm into his voice.
"Whoever can offer me the best deal gets my… loyalty." He winced internally.
Loyalty felt like a strong word.
Maybe "grudging cooperation" was more accurate.
Lina's eyes narrowed.
"And what, pray tell, constitutes the 'best deal'?"
Ethan took a deep breath.
This was it.
Time to play his incredibly flimsy, possibly insane, hand.
"Mia," he said, his voice surprisingly steady.
"Her core. Whoever can guarantee her safety, and help me… *understand* her… gets my help."
A beat of silence.
Then, Lucas laughed, a cold, brittle sound.
"You think a mere spirit herb's core is a bargaining chip against the might of the Tianji Pavilion or the Qingyun Sect?"
Lina, however, was watching him with a calculating glint in her eyes.
"Interesting," she murmured.
"Very interesting indeed. Perhaps, young Ethan, you are not as foolish as you appear."
And with that, the celestial gambit began.
Ethan, the eccentric immortal-in-training, had just thrown down the gauntlet.
Now, all he had to do was survive the game.
It's easy!
It's only the most powerful sect and an organization that has existed since the beginning of time, nothing to fear, right?