Henry clutched the goblet of orgasm water like it was a religious relic.
He didn't sip it. He gulped it. And immediately regretted it.
The water was fizzy, slightly sweet, and somehow made his toes curl in three separate timelines.
Moistessa giggled as he choked on the aftershock. "Careful, darling. That vintage came from the Fountain of Friction. A single drop is known to induce toe-curling, spine-bending euphoria."
Henry wheezed. "Why does everything here double as a sex toy?"
"Because Girthania has standards," Seraphina said, strapping her sword—which had a suspiciously phallic hilt—onto her back.
The flying barge was prepped again, now filled with crates of enchanted lube, mood candles, and an emergency thigh stretcher. Henry didn't ask questions.
Yvette stood on the dock, holding a scroll and blushing furiously. "Good luck on your journey. The Celibacy Demon is said to feed on sexual frustration. No one's come back from the Tower… satisfied."
Seraphina scoffed. "Oh please. We literally broke the laws of physics last night. We'll be fine."
Henry muttered into his cloak, "Last night broke me. I don't even know what position that was. My hips still speak Elvish."
Moistessa smiled dreamily. "You moaned in tongues. I've written poetry about it."
As the barge took off, the trio waved goodbye. Behind them, the Temple of the Sacred Squirt sparkled in the sun, its wet, glistening spires gently dripping like an eternal fountain of desire.
Henry stared at it and whispered, "That place changed me."
---
Midway Through the Marsh of Lamenting Libido
"Can we not name every region like it's a porno anthology?" Henry complained, swatting away a frog that croaked the moan from last night's orgy.
"You're the one who agreed to be the chosen thirst trap," Seraphina said, lounging in a hammock spun from enchanted panties.
A flock of harpies flew by, topless and singing erotica in falsetto.
Moistessa was busy oiling her legs with Lust Lotus extract. "Once we reach the Tower, everything changes. The Celibacy Demon is no joke. Her touchless teasing can reduce a man to a drooling puddle of need."
Henry blinked. "I'm already a puddle of need. What's the next stage? Liquid regret?"
Moistessa grinned. "Vaporized virginity."
Suddenly, the barge jolted.
A woman stood on the water ahead—no boat, no magic, just heels. Strapped stilettos, skintight red latex, and a riding crop that radiated authority.
Her long crimson hair swirled behind her like a silk whip. Her cleavage could probably start wars. And her eyes? Dark. Dangerous. Dominant.
"Who dares approach the Tower of Trials?" she purred, her voice a seductive growl.
Seraphina drew her sword. Moistessa prepared a splash spell.
Henry whimpered, "I am so underdressed for this."
The woman smiled. "I am Lady Lash. Warden of the First Trial. And unless you wish to be bound, blindfolded, and spanked into obedience, you'd best pass my test."
Henry blinked. "Wait, is that a threat or a reward?"
"Depends on your safeword."
"…Spaghetti."
Moistessa whispered, "What?"
"Don't ask," Henry said quickly. "Let's just survive this."
---
Trial One: The Chamber of Discipline
Lady Lash led them into a floating palace of crimson ropes, silk sheets, and chandeliers made of nipple clamps. The walls vibrated softly.
Henry felt like a virgin in a sex dungeon with a credit card.
"This is where weak-willed men beg," Lady Lash said. "You must endure temptation without release. Fail, and you'll be trapped in a loop of eternal edging."
Henry paled. "That's inhumane."
She smirked. "That's Tuesday."
She snapped her fingers.
Instantly, dozens of dominatrix spirits appeared, each with whips, boots, and curves so intense they caused nosebleeds in five dimensions.
Henry was tied to a throne of squirming tongues. Seraphina and Moistessa were bound beside him, just close enough to touch but not enough to do anything.
"This is cruel," Henry groaned.
One spirit leaned in, her breath hot against his ear. "You want it?"
"YES."
"You can't have it."
Henry screamed into the void.
---
Five Hours Later
Seraphina was foaming at the mouth. Moistessa had melted into a puddle of shimmering arousal. Henry had entered a trance state.
Lady Lash stepped forward, impressed. "You lasted longer than I expected."
"I'm not proud," Henry whispered. "I saw my grandfather's ghost. He high-fived me."
"You pass," she said, snapping her fingers and freeing them. "The next guardian awaits. She's… less forgiving."
"Than you?" Henry asked.
Lady Lash leaned down and licked his cheek. "Much less."
---
Deeper Into the Tower: The Hall of Sensual Illusions
The trio entered a hall lined with mirrors. Each reflected not reality—but deepest, dirtiest desires.
One mirror showed Henry being fed grapes by thirty nymphs in fishnets.
Another had Seraphina riding a mechanical unicorn while screaming "FOR SCIENCE!"
Moistessa's showed a sentient showerhead, three elf twins, and a jar of coconut oil.
"I can explain," she said quickly.
From the shadows emerged a woman in translucent gauze, her body glowing faintly.
"I am Mirage," she purred. "Mistress of Illusions. Only those who can resist their deepest desires may pass."
Henry nodded solemnly. "I'm screwed."
The mirrors began to shimmer. The reflections moved.
One stepped out.
It was a clone of Seraphina—except naked, wet, and whispering, "Let's test your stamina again, darling."
Another clone stepped out—Moistessa, but with tentacles. She winked.
Henry was now backed against a wall, sweating in places no man should sweat.
Mirage laughed. "You may take one step forward only if you deny them both."
Henry groaned. "Can I at least get a demo first?"
"DENY. THEM."
Henry gulped. Then screamed, "NO BOINKING!" and sprinted forward.
He ran through a mirror, burst into another hallway, and immediately collapsed.
Seraphina and Moistessa stepped out behind him, equally breathless.
"You're getting better at saying no," Seraphina panted.
"I'm saving my stamina," Henry replied. "For the final boss."
---
The Summit: Tower of the Celibacy Demon
They reached the top.
It was a serene chamber of white marble. Peaceful. Pure.
Dangerous.
A woman sat upon a throne, her body covered in silken veils, every curve hidden yet somehow more tempting than full nudity.
She radiated calm... and denial.
"I am Chastara," she said, "the Celibacy Demon. Touch is forbidden. Lust is futile. Here, desire is punished."
Henry immediately got a boner. "I regret nothing."
Chastara rose. "Your trial begins now."
With a flick of her fingers, his clothes vanished. So did Seraphina's and Moistessa's.
"Okay," Henry said. "This is counterproductive to your whole no-touch rule."
Chastara smiled. "Exactly."
She snapped her fingers again.
A magical field enveloped them. Every time they tried to touch, they'd be zapped with a burst of cold air and regret.
The goal?
Resist each other… for one full hour.
Henry trembled.
Seraphina whispered, "I can't hold back."
Moistessa moaned, "I'm going to combust."
Henry locked eyes with Chastara. "You're evil."
"I'm bored," she said. "Let's increase the challenge."
She conjured floating aphrodisiac mists, played moan-based harp music, and filled the room with the scent of vanilla, sweat, and sex.
Seraphina licked her lips. Moistessa was already climbing the air bubble field like a cat in heat.
Henry… gave in.
"TOUCH ME, DAMMIT!" he roared.
The bubble popped.
All three collapsed into a tangled, slippery, naked pile of limbs, tongues, and desperate, primal noises.
Chastara laughed and faded into mist. "You failed… gloriously."
And the Tower crumbled behind them.
---
Aftermath: Wet, Wild, and Wondering
They lay on the grass, sore, steaming, and satisfied.
"That… was not a trial," Henry wheezed. "That was a thirst trap from hell."
Seraphina laughed. "And you passed with flying colors… of lube."
Moistessa rolled over and purred, "One trial down. Now to find out where the rest of the men went."
Henry blinked. "Oh right, the plot."
Yvette appeared in a puff of librarian-themed smoke.
She adjusted her glasses. "I found a clue."
She unrolled a scroll.
On it: a single phrase.
"The Sisterhood of Endless Heat has taken the men."
Henry groaned. "Why does that sound both sexy and terrifying?"
Seraphina grinned. "Because we're going to find them."
Moistessa smirked. "And maybe… rescue a few along the way."
Henry closed his eyes.
And prayed again.
Not for safety.
But for extra stamina potions.
The adventure had only just begun.