Just as Souta Kazuki spoke, the realization seemed to dawn upon Hashirama Senju. His mind spun, piecing together Souta's words with Madara's presence. "Master's wife," he mumbled under his breath, his face slowly turning an unnatural shade of red. His hands shot up to cover his face in a comically shy manner, his body shifting awkwardly as if he were a flustered maiden. Yet, despite his attempts at subtlety, his gaze kept flickering toward Uchiha Madara, as if seeking confirmation of this absurd notion.
"Aiya—Master's wife—Souta, you mustn't say such things!" Hashirama stammered, twisting his body in a way that made the entire situation even more ridiculous. "It wouldn't be good if people misunderstood—"
Souta watched the scene unfold with an expression of disbelief. His teacher, the great Senju Hashirama, the man who once stood at the pinnacle of the ninja world, was blushing like a newlywed bride. He resisted the urge to laugh but couldn't help the smirk creeping onto his face.
Uchiha Madara, on the other hand, had reached his limit. His face had gone from its usual pale complexion to a deep, infuriated purple. His fists clenched at his sides, veins bulging from the sheer effort of suppressing his rage.
"What the hell are you two talking about?!" Madara bellowed, his voice thundering through the space. His sharp gaze locked onto Hashirama. "And you! Hashirama Senju, you absolute idiot! Take back that ridiculous expression on your face this instant!"
As if synchronized, both Hashirama and Souta reflexively covered their foreheads, their faces twisting in mock pain. Meanwhile, Uchiha Sasuke, still within the depths of his hysteria, remained in his own world of despair. His voice echoed with anguish as he clutched his head, his newly awakened Mangekyō Sharingan spinning wildly in his eyes.
"My beloved Naruko… gone… it's all an illusion… all of it!" Sasuke muttered, his body trembling violently. "How… how could this world be real… if she doesn't exist?"
His Sharingan pulsed with an unstable light, his Susanoo forming shakily around him in fragmented pieces. The sheer instability of his emotions threatened to spiral out of control, and everyone could feel the tension in the air.
Hashirama, still recovering from his earlier embarrassment, finally turned serious. "Tch… if he keeps this up, he'll destroy himself before he even gets to master his eyes," he muttered, cracking his knuckles. With a deep breath, he brought his hands together in a seal.
"Wood Release: True Thousand Hands! Buddha on the Top!!!"
A massive tremor shook the sealed space as an enormous wooden Buddha erupted from the ground, towering over everything with an overwhelming presence. Thousands of wooden fists loomed over Sasuke's struggling form.
Souta nearly choked on his own breath. "Hey, hey, sensei! Are you trying to kill him?!" he shouted, glancing between Hashirama and Sasuke.
Only then did Hashirama realize his mistake. He was so used to fighting Madara with his full power that his first instinct was to summon the most ridiculous technique in his arsenal. His eyes flickered toward Sasuke's incomplete, fragile Susanoo, which was nothing but a skeletal frame. If he actually hit him with the full force of his Buddha, Sasuke would be nothing more than a red smear on the floor.
"Ah… oops?" Hashirama scratched the back of his head.
Instead of unleashing the full might of the technique, he carefully directed just one of the Buddha's fists, bringing it down ever so gently upon Sasuke's forehead. It was barely more than a tap—but that tap was still powerful enough to send Sasuke crashing onto the ground, unconscious before he even realized what had hit him.
With Sasuke finally subdued, the tension in the air dissipated. One by one, everyone began exiting the sealed space, leaving only a slumbering Sasuke behind.
Uzumaki Naruto, however, remained behind, kneeling beside his fallen rival. His expression twisted with concern as he reached out and prodded Sasuke's face. First on the cheek. Then on the forehead. Then a little more aggressively on his chin.
"Souta, what do you think happened to him?" Naruto asked, frowning. "Why did he suddenly lose it like that? And what's up with this whole 'Naruko' thing? I swear he looked at me like I was some kind of ghost."
Souta, arms crossed, tried his best to keep a straight face. He knew full well what Sasuke had just endured, but explaining it… well, that was another matter entirely.
"Ah, nothing much," Souta said, voice neutral. "Sasuke just… experienced something rather unique in the illusion. But look on the bright side! At least his Mangekyō Sharingan awakened!"
Naruto squinted at him suspiciously. "Something unique? What do you mean by that?"
Souta hesitated. He had hoped to let this pass without too much elaboration, but with Naruto's persistence, he knew it was futile. So, with an exaggerated sigh, he finally spilled the truth.
"Basically, inside the illusion, there was an Uzumaki Naruko. Sasuke fell in love with her for years. They got married. And then, on their wedding night, she turned into you," Souta explained in one breath. "And… well, let's just say that you, in his illusion, were very… enthusiastic about making Sasuke yours."
A beat of silence.
Naruto blinked. Once. Twice.
Then—
"WHAT?!"
His voice boomed through the space, startling even the unconscious Sasuke. His entire body twitched, hands shaking as if he wanted to punch something but didn't know what. "You mean to tell me that in his mind, I—?! What kind of twisted—?! AND WHY THE HELL DID I MARRY HIM?!"
Souta merely shrugged. "Well, your Sexy Jutsu made Sasuke awaken his Two-Tomoe Sharingan. A single accidental kiss between you two made him awaken his Three-Tomoe. And now, marriage helped him awaken his Mangekyō. Clearly, you're the key to his evolution."
Naruto's jaw dropped. "WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?!"
Meanwhile, Haruno Sakura stood frozen in place, her face paling as the realization sunk in. Sasuke… had technically married Naruto first. In an illusion, yes—but still. It counted in a way.
That meant… if she ever married Sasuke, she would be… his second wife?!
The pink-haired kunoichi trembled. A dark aura surrounded her, her fists clenching so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
"Damn you… idiot Naruto…" she muttered through gritted teeth.
On the other side of the room, Uchiha Fugaku and Mikoto exchanged glances, their faces unreadable.
Mikoto sighed. "So… our son, who originally awakened his Sharingan after our deaths, instead awakened his Mangekyō by… marrying Naruto in an illusion?"
Fugaku's eye twitched. "Does… does this mean that the entire Uchiha clan was worth less than a single Uzumaki in drag?"
Even Uchiha Madara, standing at the back of the room, was lost in thought. His sharp, calculating eyes drifted toward Hashirama.
"If… if Hashirama had turned into a woman… would I have unlocked the Mangekyō earlier?"
A moment of silence.
Madara shuddered violently.
"No."