Darkness....
all around me was darkness
...darkness..... and the ever present nightmares of my past
mixing with together with all the bad memories of my second life so far....
it was not pleasant....
all of them....
.....the people from my past...
..their faces and forms changed....
they fused together and transformed into different entities... that want nor do anything more than humiliate and subject me to all of the sick, twisted, ....bloody acts they can think of...
throughout all of it I am a prisoner ....
prey....
.....unable to do anything as they torment me....
helpless.....
I have of course learned how to deal with them
.....but still ..... I ...
staring up at what should have been the sky ... but all I saw was darkness.....
it was everywhere .....
trapped in my very own verson of a dark hell....
...blocking out all that was being done to my body
... I ....i ...have always... wished?
.for.....something...
.. a break?....
no a break is to short ..
...I want ....
...peace.....
.....salvation
I was in an open field surrounded by horrific monsters on all sides
....nowhere to go....
.....none cared to hear ....
.... none cared to stop.....
...
.
in my ...torment ....I finally saw something different ...
.... in my dead, glossy eyes.....
as I am used and disfigured
.... i witnessed a....light .....
..
it shone down from..... who knows where....
to land on my form
... giving me a brief respite from my tormentors as the light drove them back
....but not far....
I was transfixed by the light .... this .... seemingly divine light that drives all evil away...
I couldn't turn my haze away...
and that's when I hear it
" ...you look .....so much like her ..."
...
.. it was a far-off whisper...
.. faint .....but full of....what?....
something... but... I know I have heard it before....
..it was almost the same tone ...
the same one that my mother.....my first life mother used
.... back before everything went wrong....
.
i feel a ... a sensation
slide across my face....
it was a weird feeling and it had me staring up at the light in the sky ..... were i sensed it coming from.....
... 'i Want to be closer' i thought.....
and somehow
my body.....
my nightmare body
started floating up....
up towards it .....
like it was following my desire ...
my wish....
were i was closer to it I could barely make lit it's form.....
it was a small ball of light .....
...but it shined brightly in this ...hell.....
..oh so brightly.....
....I couldn't resist reaching out to touch it....
... I could feel one of my hands wrap around it and I bring it closer to my chest to try and get closer to this...feeling....
once it came directly over my heart ...it shined brighter....
... so bright that it banished the nightmare....my dark hell entirely
I could feel myself getting lighter and warmer .. ...it felt like I was riding on a cloud...
....but another feeling came along with that....
the feeling of ..
.... comfort? ....
..... safety?.....
..
.
I open my eyes....
my real eyes
...but have to close them again due to the bright morning light shining into the room I was in.....
when my eyes stop stinging I peek out.....
and see a female sitting in a chair beside the bed I was laying in
" ... "
she was...beautiful....
there was no other words
she had a light green hair with silver and gold highlights that fused together so smooth... it had to be natural
her eyes carried the same colors as her hair
but they were different from all other eyes I've ever seen....
her irises ....were a triple pattern of color matching the three colors of her hair, but doubled to form six lines of three colors
two of each, starting with light green where the iris and scelara meet then gold and silver repeated towards the pupils...
which they themselves where not normal as they formed a glittering cloud of gold and silver swirling around a small green center that pulsed soft but rhythmically.....
her face....
I....feel like I couldn't do it justice if I tried to describe it.....
her skin was fair ..... but with a faint green and goldish-silvery hue to it...
she was mesmerizing .....
but she also had tears in her eyes as she looked at me...
her tears distracted me from her moments.... be soon I feel something on my face and I look down...
one of her hands was holding one of mine on the bed by my side..... the other she was using it to caress my face
" ... "
I.. .... felt a ..... connection? .....with this woman...
but at the same time my instincts where screaming at me.....
she was no ordinary female.....
she was a futa
a futa... that was touching my face.....
intimately
my prey skill was activated and before I knew it I couldn't move ....
my body was heating up and I took on a slightly fearful look as I didn't know who she was and I didn't know where saf was... hoping she was nearby
the beautiful....futa.. must have seen my discomfort as she retracted her hand from my cheek....
but not the one holding my hand
" Please don't fear me my child....you are the child of my.....' philia' right? "
" .... "
with her hand gone my body was calming down and I could speak
but I still laid in silence for a bit more
how to respond?.....
from the question she just asked ....I can guesstimate that she's means my mother...Rephilia....
.....and from the word 'My' .... the ..slight possessiveness in her voice, and this connection I feel to her....
added on to that was her appearance.....
she was not a normal spirit
she had to be special even among spirits....
I remembered what happened last night and what the guard who helped us said....
" ... "
I thought I had steeled myself for this moment....
.... but I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous ..... because I knew instinctively.....
she was my mother...
my spirit mother
my .... futa mother
" ....y yess " I say hesitantly after some time has passed
I looked over to see my... futa mother beaming
her smile brighter than the morning light shining in from the room window....
" than can you tell me where my 'philia'.....your mother is? I have missed her so very much these past years "
" ... "
I struggle to form a response
I really didn't want to kill her new found joy by telling her that her 'philia' ....my mother was dead...
..
" .....she's gone .. " I bite the bullet and say in a voice so small it's barely even audible
...but she heard me
" gone?.....like as in not in malimar ? " she asked with a confused expression.....
but I could see the tension in her body.... barley suppressed trembling...
she was using confusion, ....intentionally misunderstanding me to mask fear....
..a fear of her worst nightmare coming to life
" .....she's dead.....she have been for six years now..." I said in a somehow even smaller voice
she stiffen ...
I could see she can ni longer suppress the trembling as her eyes that was drying from earlier become wet again as tears streak led down her face
.....her expression a mix of things I can't really discern but I can identify pain, anger, ...and acceptance?...
... I couldn't bare to look at her as she processed her lovers death
" how..? ...do you know how she died?.... if so please tell me " she said drawing my attention back to her
" ..... "
sigh
I take a deep breath
" .....right after my mother gave birth to me ....she was attacked ...by who I don't know and she never told me... " I hesitate and say softly but I could see her face change drastically and her face....the one the one that could cause wars to be fought.....men to loose all reason and become utter fools...turn so sharply ...so deadly.....so .....dark.....it honestly scared him into silence
" ... "
cough cough " sorry, please ....go on " her face changed into a more neutral one ...
a complete expressionless mask....but it did nothing to conceal the dark mist that appeared in the light cloud that was in her eyes and her light green pupils darken into a more deep forest green
" ....she was weak from having me.....and there was many from what i heard....she was wounded....fatality so.... with no other chioce at that moment....she ran... fled deep onto a forest distant from the dark elf kingdom.....but not really that far from the spirit nation it seemed as it didn't really take me long to reach the border " It took some effort but I was able to talk about it a little easier and give my own thoughts
" there deep in that forest was where she raised me ..... taught me.....showered me with all the love she could give .... been my very world .....until her death.... due to the wound inflicted during her escape ...I was twelve years old when she ..." I had to stop for a moment as the memories was catching back up with me
" ... I buried her near the house she built for us..... and what i called home ... until she died.... then it became a .... prison.... a prison of memories that tormented me everyday.....because I had promised before she died that I would not leave the forest until I was of age... "
" ..I just recently left the forest and decided to come....find you.....to....I don't know.... I wanted t- "
I am wrapped in a tight embrace... my... spirit mother hugged me
I can feel her body shaking ....
rippling through her body and traversing into mine to shake my immobilized body due to her contact.....
the feeling she gave me.... of a ....futa who was also my .....mother hugging me.....the sensations was not like any I felt before .... and I left me feeling scared, protected, vulnerable and ..... I cant pick up the other.... but It was the strongest of the other feelings
my head was starting to feel cold and wet at fhe same time and I can guess this was due to her crying in my hair
I didn't know how to deal with this situation
I could only sit there and be held by this woman....my ....futa mother.....as she cried herself out in my hair while hugging me like a lifeline.... as if her very life depended on it.....
..
.
" I'm sorry,.... I got a little overwhelmed " my ...mother said as she finally released me from her hug but still stayed close by on the bed
"... I'm... saddened to hear of philia's death....and make no mistake I will find out what happened.... for all of us. with that being said I am more than delighted to know that her's and my child survived.... and not only that took the initiative to come find me..... you have no idea how ... distraught I was to hear of philia and our childs disappearance. ..... but not that you are here I have no plans of letting you out of my sight for a while to come .... also you'll have to take me to her... philias grave " my futa mother said her expression changing from grief to anger to happiness and finally back to grief again
I hesitate.... but slowly nod my head
I could understand her reasoning
... she just found me.....her..... child, one she didn't know anything about but wanted to change that and her lovers death.....
she wanted me near her as any new found parent naturally would ..... and to use me to console herself with my mother passing
I could understand .....but at the same time I didn't want to go back to that ... house.... her grave so soon...
....but I couldn't say no as I would feel like sh#t if i didn't take her to see her lovers grave because of my own reluctance
" Great! we can stay her for a bit .... but I'd rather bring you back to the capital..... to your new home before too long. once you get settled in we can go visit your home in the forest "
I nodded again and she slipped off the bed and stood up
" I'll leave you to get ready for breakfast .... I have heard what happened last night.... " the cloud mist in her eyes took on even more dark light than before at this point
" .... while the main culprit is dead... the are others..... who needs to be taught lessons.....they will never forget.... "
I shudder at her ..... insinuation and the dark ....feel coming off her in waves...
she soon perks back up, her..... killing intent disappearing without a trace as she say in a happy, delightful tone " go ahead and get dressed.....I finally have you here and I want to first make breakfast for you...your friend.... can also join us as I have more to talk to her about. you can find her in the room next door. when you ready can both come downstairs and eat with me " she said then with one more deep look at me she walked to the door of the room and was about to walk out but before opening the door she said "but don't keep me waiting too long.... I have waited long enough for this ... opportunity and I plan to fully enjoy it "
she opened the door and walked out ...
closing it shut with a soft click before I heard her footsteps sound in the hall and fade away as It got further away
sigh
...my mind was a jumble and I didn't know what to think at the moment...
so instead I just got up and looked around the room I was in...
it was nice...nicer than the room I had at 'Nature's embrace'
I spot a door and walked over to it
opening it up I was greeted to a steamy bathroom....
cloths on the floor and water running in the shower
I could see a form blurred by the shower curtain in the bath
I was about to close the door again but a head shooting out the side of the curtain stopped me
" ... "
" .....nova? just in time! do you want to shower with me? " saf with soap in her hair and it forming a second skin on her as she poked her head out and asked
I turn my head away and looked across the room first to see another door identical to the one I just opened - open to another bedroom....
I can guess this was a bathroom shared by both rooms....and saf was in the other...
I couldn't hear the shower before and can only hope she wasn't in yet or didn't hear want me and my mother talked about
" n n no t t thatss fine i I can wait " I studder because I looked over and the water dropping down from her body was .....distracting
I turn and hurriedly closed the door....
but a hand stopped me
I look back and saf ....
.... . she had somehow gotten out the shower fast and got to me before i closed the door
" ..... "
" please... can you .... indulge me once... as your girlfriend..... to take a shower with me" she asked in a soft vulnerable tone of voice
" ..... "
I knew that taking a shower with her was not a good idea..... plus we only just got together
taking a shower together this quick was fast
.... but I also can't deny that this relationship has been on a fast track since even before it officially begun
..... I want to say no.....
but I also knew if we continued the relationship(which I couldn't see me or her ending) then this issue would pop up again... and again
i sigh " saf... I .. I have a .....personal issue as to why I'm reluctant to bathe with you "
" ..... what is it ... if it's something to due with your body just know I like every inch of you... if it's a problem for you I'll be sure to love it for you " she said and I could feel ... warmth spreading across my body and it coming to rest in my cheeks as they felt unnaturally hot
" n..no..i .....well..... yes .... I guess you can say that " I say and saf suddenly pulls me into the bathroom closing the door firmly behind me
" then there's no problem... come on I want personally wash that disgusting fat bit#hes ... everything off of you and add my my own .....touch " she said as she stood there infront of me stark naked and pulling on the shirt i had on