Ryu stood before the Core dome, the complete Core Key glowing in his fist like a glitchy grenade. The five Patch Shards vibrated in his pocket, syncing into a hum that made his ears bleed static. The undercity chamber pulsed—neon tubes flickered, code-tiles cracked, and the dome split open, revealing a spinning orb of red static, Valdris's beating heart. Lira loomed beside him, Waffle Iron of the Grid gripped tight, oil and blood streaking her face. Gorv towered, axe dripping Swarmatron guts, growling like a pissed-off bull. Pip bounced, toucan screeching flames, Dustbuster turret buzzing like it smelled a fight.
The system flickered: [Quest Update: Core Accessed. Objective: Patch or trash this bitch—choose fast, asshole.] The orb pulsed, and a voice boomed again: "PATCH OR PERISH, GLITCH KNIGHT." Then it glitched—a figure materialized, tall, armored in sleek code, face a blank screen flashing "ADMIN." [Enemy: Admin Avatar (Level 60). Note: King's little bitch—good fucking luck.]
"Pathetic," it droned, voice like a dial-up modem. "You think you can crash my system? I'll delete you and your fuckwit pets."
Ryu gripped Snarkfang. "Bring it, pixel-dick—my crew'll turn you into scrap code."
The Avatar's screen flashed "LOL"—then it attacked.
Lira roared, "Smash this prick!" and charged, iron swinging—hit the Avatar's arm, sparking code. It glitched, arm stuttering mid-block. [Damage: 100. Effect: Avatar's twitching.] No scrap talk—just a feral "Die!" as she swung again.
Snarkfang whistled. "Klepto's a fucking wrecking ball—keep her, shitlord!"
Gorv bellowed, "NO MORE SCREENS!" and leapt, axe crashing down—glitched into a gravity pulse, slamming the Avatar into the tiles. Code cracked, floor buckled. [Damage: 120. Effect: Avatar's pinned.]
Snarkfang snorted. "Big boy's a goddamn anchor—still dumb as a brick, but I'll clap."
Pip cackled, "Eat this, screen-face!" and lobbed his turret. It glitched mid-air, turning into a flaming shop-vac that rammed the Avatar's chest, sucking code into a fiery vortex. [Chaos Triggered: Vac-Attack. Damage: 90.] The toucan dove, torching its helm—screen flickered "ERR." [Damage: 60.] Ryu grinned. "Pip's a fucking arsonist—finally worth the air he breathes."
The Avatar pulsed—screen flared "DELETE," and a glitch-wave blasted out. Ryu dove, but it clipped his leg—static burned. [Damage: -35 HP. HP: 45/80.] He swung—Glitch Grind hit. Snarkfang spun, grinding the Avatar's arm into glitch dust that choked the air. [Glitch Grind Effect: Dust Devil. Damage: 140, Visibility -50.]
Snarkfang cackled. "You're a fucking sandstorm, dipshit—grind 'em to bits!"
The Avatar's screen glitched—spawned a hologram army, dozens of mini-avatars, spears flashing code. Lira roared, iron smashing two into sparks—code sprayed. [Damage: 110.] Gorv charged, axe pulsing gravity—crushed five into a pixel pancake. [Damage: 130.] Pip's shop-vac rolled, vacuuming three—toucan torched the rest, flames glitching into RGB streaks. [Damage: 120.]
Ryu swung—Glitch Geyser triggered. The floor erupted—a fountain of glitchy typewriters, clacking and smashing the Avatar's legs. Keys flew, spelling "FUCK YOU" in midair. [Glitch Geyser Effect: Typo Tempest. Damage: 150, Mobility -60.]
Snarkfang wheezed. "You're a fucking secretary from hell, fuckface—I'm dying!"
The Avatar roared—screen flashed "REBOOT," and its arm regrew, spear lashing. Ryu parried with Snarkfang, but it grazed his chest—code burned deep. [Damage: -40 HP. HP: 5/80.] Lira leapt, iron crashing its helm—screen cracked, "ADMIN" stuttering to "AD#IN." [Damage: 120.] Gorv roared, axe cleaving its side—gravity pinned it again, tiles shattering. [Damage: 140.] Pip's vac rammed its gut, toucan torching the crack—flames glitched, frying circuits. [Damage: 130.]
Ryu grit his teeth, HP flashing red. "Fuck this!" He swung—Glitch Goad flared, runes taunting "SCREEN-SUCKER" in its face. The Avatar's screen glitched—spear stabbed its own leg. [Glitch Goad Effect: Self-Screw.] He followed with Glitch Gatling—rubber skulls fired, chattering and gumming its joints. [Damage: 160.]
The Avatar pulsed—screen flared "FINAL PATCH," spawning a glitch-storm. Typewriters flew, hitting Lira—her arm bled static. [Damage to Lira: -30 HP.] Gorv took a hit, growling as his cape tore. [Damage to Gorv: -25 HP.] Pip dodged, vac sucking the storm—toucan torched it, glitching the blast back. [Damage: 140.]
Ryu roared, "Endgame, bitch!" He swung—Glitch Gash hit, slicing the Avatar's core—static bled, frying its holo-army into dust. [Glitch Gash Effect: Bleed-Out. Damage: 180, Chain +10.] Lira smashed its helm—screen shattered, code gushing. [Damage: 150.] Gorv cleaved its chest—gravity crushed it flat. [Damage: 170.] Pip's vac rammed its core, toucan torching the hole—it bluescreened, voice glitching "P-P-PERISH…" [AdminAvatar.exe terminated. +700 EXP. Level Up: Glitch Knight Rank 14. New Skill: Glitch Gush (Floods foes with glitchy goo).]
Ryu collapsed, HP at 5, chest heaving. The Core pulsed—unlocked, raw. Lira wiped her iron, snarling, "Screen's scrap." Gorv flexed, axe high, grinning. Pip high-fived his toucan, vac sparking triumph. The dome hummed—options flickered: [Patch Valdris? Y/N. Crash Valdris? Y/N.]
Snarkfang snorted. "You're a half-dead shitlord, Ryu—nice admin tan."
"Fuck off," Ryu muttered, eyeing the Core.
The chamber shook—city glitching harder, a new roar rising. Ryu glared at his crew. "Choose fast, fuckwits—patch or crash, I'm done bleeding in this shithole."
Lira smirked. "Crash it."