Lily couldn't sleep that night. The number on the scale replayed in her mind like a haunting melody she couldn't escape. Every time she closed her eyes, it was there, taunting her. Higher than her mother's. Higher than it should be. The weight of her own body felt unbearable, like an anchor sinking her deeper into shame.
She tossed and turned, her thoughts a storm of regret and self-loathing. How had she let herself get this big? How had she ignored all the signs? She thought back to every reckless bite, every late-night snack, every time she convinced herself she didn't care. But she did. She cared more than anything, and now, it was too late.
By morning, she had made a decision.
She was going to change.
Lily jumped out of bed with more determination than she had felt in months. She wouldn't eat like before. No more reckless indulgence. No more sneaking extra food. She would be strict, disciplined. That was the only way.
She skipped breakfast. Instead, she drank water and told herself she wasn't hungry. When Matt and Ava sat down to eat, she distracted herself by scrolling through TikTok, watching fitness influencers talk about their weight loss journeys. "Discipline over motivation," one girl said. "If you want it bad enough, you'll do whatever it takes."
Lily nodded to herself. She wanted it bad enough
.
At school, she refused to buy snacks, even when her stomach ached. The hunger felt like proof that she was doing something right. Maybe if she ignored it long enough, her body would shrink. Maybe she'd wake up one day and be the version of herself she had always wanted.
By the time she got home, her head was pounding. Her mom had made jollof rice, and the rich, spicy aroma filled the house. Her stomach growled so loudly she feared someone might hear it. She clenched her fists and walked past the kitchen without stopping. She wouldn't give in.
But by midnight, the hunger was unbearable.
Lily lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, her body screaming for food. She tried to fight it. She told herself to sleep through it, that she would wake up lighter, better. But the cravings clawed at her mind, whispering, begging.
She found herself in the kitchen before she even realized what she was doing. Her hands moved on their own, reaching for bread, leftover rice, biscuits. The hunger consumed her, and before she knew it, she was eating. Bite after bite, mouthful after mouthful. She hated herself, but she couldn't stop.
When it was over, she stood frozen, staring at the empty plates. Shame crashed over her in waves. She had failed. Again. She gripped the counter, her breath shaky. Maybe she could fix this. Maybe if she exercised, burned it all off—
She ran to her room and dropped to the floor, doing sit-ups until her stomach ached. Then jumping jacks. Then squats. But no matter how much she moved, she still felt heavy, disgusting.
Tears stung her eyes.
She wanted to be free of this feeling. She wanted to wake up and not think about food. She wanted to love herself. But she didn't know how.
The next day, she ate even less. Only an apple. She forced herself to walk extra at school, to move more, to burn calories. But by evening, the hunger returned, stronger than before.
And the cycle repeated.
For days, Lily lived like this—starving, binging, punishing herself. She avoided the scale, too afraid to see the number. Too afraid to know if she had failed completely.
Then, on Friday, her mother called her into the living room.
"You've been quiet lately," her mom said, studying her with those sharp eyes that missed nothing. "Are you okay?"
Lily forced a smile. "Yeah. Just school stuff."
Her mom's eyes narrowed slightly. "You've been skipping meals."
Lily's stomach dropped. "I—I'm just not that hungry."
Her mom sighed. "Lily, I know you. You're trying to lose weight, aren't you?"
A lump formed in Lily's throat. She looked away. "I just want to be better."
Her mother softened. "Baby, starving yourself isn't the way. You think I don't know how you feel? I used to hate my body too."
Lily blinked in surprise. "You?"
Her mom nodded. "After I had you, I gained weight. I tried all sorts of crazy things to lose it. Skipping meals, over-exercising, hating every inch of myself. But it never made me happy. I only felt worse."
Lily swallowed hard. "Then… how did you stop?"
Her mother smiled gently. "I learned that I didn't have to punish myself to be healthy. Eating right, moving my body, taking care of myself—those things mattered more than just a number."
Lily looked down at her hands. "But I don't know how to do that."
Her mom reached out, squeezing Lily's hand. "Then let me help you."
Tears welled in Lily's eyes. For the first time in weeks, she felt a spark of hope.
Maybe she didn't have to do this alone.
Maybe she could change—without destroying herself in the process.