"Huh?"
"We need a semen sample."
I thought I must have misheard, but no—it seems I heard correctly.
Even Hachikuma, who has a built-in radar for dirty jokes, isn't reacting. That means this must be a legitimate medical procedure.
"Excuse me, but are you able to provide one today?"
"If you're asking whether I can, then… yeah, I guess I can."
I answered vaguely. It's something that happens daily, so being asked if I "can" do it just feels weird—like someone asking if it's a "day I can pee."
"How would you like to proceed?"
Asking for clarification won't move things forward, so I nudged things along instead. Let's just get this over with.
Though honestly, if someone told me, "Go ahead, right now," I'd be at a loss.
"You may choose from these three options."
They handed me a pamphlet—something like an instruction guide, illustrated with cartoonish, inoffensive-yet-somehow-suggestive drawings.
"Option one: self-service. We have paper cups and specialized devices available."
With a tap on the table, they placed a paper cup, an onahole-like device, and what appeared to be a condom in front of me.
"The private room we'll guide you to has various tools suited for this purpose, so feel free to use them."
"Uh-huh..."
To be honest, I wasn't thrilled about this option.
"Option two: if you choose, I or another medical professional can assist you."
The atmosphere in the room shifted instantly.
There were several other nurses moving busily around, but now, not a single one of them made a sound. They froze in place, their movements halted by the tension of not knowing whether they'd be chosen or not.
The way the room was structured, there was a door separating us from the hallway, but the back corridor was open, making it easy for staff to come and go. It just so happened that the room was particularly crowded at this moment.
"Personally… I'd be happy if you chose me."
In the silence, the woman in front of me blushed deeply and spoke with what seemed like great determination.
The eyes of the surrounding nurses darted toward her. A silent pressure filled the air—like they had just lost their chance.
With that one statement, my perception of the woman in front of me changed.
Men are simple creatures.
She had a timid look, with long bangs covering her eyes, but I couldn't help but admire her courage in making such an offer.
Her name tag read: "Semen Examination Officer: Tsuburi Yamada."
What the hell kind of job title is that…?
"I'm actually a certified Level-One Semen Extraction Technician. But, well… I rarely get the chance to put my skills to use. So, if you wouldn't mind..."
Even with her bangs obscuring her eyes, I could tell she was in a bit of a panic. Her whole body fidgeted, her hands fluttering nervously.
"...Option three: You may also request assistance from your escort officer."
They let that one hang in the air for a moment before saying it.
Wait, what?
I turned to look at Hachikuma, who had been standing slightly behind me. Her face was red, but she gave a firm nod.
"So, which will it be?"
If I were capable of making an instant decision here, I probably wouldn't have been a long-time virgin.
It felt like being at a conveyor belt sushi place, having grabbed both sea urchin and fatty tuna, only to be asked, "Which one first?"
"This is a medical procedure, so it doesn't count as cheating. And actually… I'd appreciate it if you, you know, spread it around a bit. My reservation is still valid, right?"
Hachikuma read my hesitation and spoke with a troubled expression.
"Ah… yeah, no problem. I'll be ready again by tonight."
I answered instinctively. Man, I sound like a total scumbag.
"Tonight?!"
A surprised voice came from somewhere in the room.
Three times a day—morning, noon, and night—is easy enough.
Twice in an hour? That can be tough.
Yesterday, I had a long session with Misago, so I was pretty spent.
"Still... as long as you don't, you know, put it inside anyone else before me. I would get jealous, after all."
That was… probably her way of seducing me.
"Um, if you put it that way… now I feel bad about this..."
Tsuburi looked apologetic.
"This is just me exercising the confidence of a lawful wife! I'll be getting plenty later!"
Hachikuma raised her voice slightly. For some reason, this had turned into a bizarre dominance contest.
"Well, congratulations."
Tsuburi gave Hachikuma a deep bow.
"Then, if you don't mind, I'll be borrowing Hisui for a little while."
Saying that, she gathered up the extraction tools and stood up.
"Hisui, follow me, please."
With her long hair bouncing, Tsuburi strode toward the door.
Judging by the spring in her step, she was in a very good mood.
Author's note :
Hisui is the type to fall for someone who confesses their love to him. Since he's never had a partner before, he tends to be quite possessive.
In this world, socially speaking, it's considered unseemly for women to monopolize men. There may be a slight NTR (netorare) vibe, but that's just how harem stories work.
A man's value is determined by how many children he fathers. The rank and volume of the sperm he donates also factor in.
So, the ideal here is for men to spread their seed. If a woman makes an approach, it's only natural for his wives to assist.
Whether that ideal plays out smoothly… well, that's another story.
New Character Introduction
Tsuburi yamada – a reserved meganekko (glasses-wearing girl) with blunt bangs.
Rather than being shy, she simply acts reserved around new people. Once she gets comfortable, she ties her hair back and doesn't come across as particularly timid.