"––––––Even I... like Hikigaya-kun."
A small confession, heard from the closeness of her chest.
Even someone as dense as me could tell these words weren't meant in a friendly way.
This wasn't entirely unexpected. I'd always pretended not to notice, but somewhere deep down, I'd had an inkling.
That she held feelings for me.
"I like you. I really, truly like you. So much that I can't help it."
She pulled her face away from my chest, turning toward me with flushed cheeks and eyes glistening with tears. Her expression carried a sorrowful, bewitching allure that could captivate anyone who saw it.
"I love how kind and cool you are. I've always... been thinking about you."
She crawled closer, inching her way up from my chest.
Biting her lip slightly, she drew near.
"I love you... I really do. More than anyone else."
Words she would never normally say—Hiyori whispered them right into my ear. A shiver ran down my spine, and I reflexively covered my ears. But then, she sat atop me, gazing down at me from above.
"The thought of you being taken by another girl... I can't stand it. Won't you... make me your number one?"
"..."
Her wavering, anxious eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, my thoughts froze.
What was I supposed to say to her?
I knew full well that I wasn't cut out for romance. This was the first time a girl had ever confessed to me. Part of me was honestly happy about it—that much was true.
I found her attractive. I was drawn to her. But at the same time, a single thought surfaced in my mind.
If, back at the start of the school year, Hiyori had confessed to me the same way she just did now––––––
...I would've accepted without hesitation.
Without any of this doubt, without even pretending to struggle.
No, even if it hadn't been Hiyori—whether it was a girl in my grade or another—if any girl had confessed to me, I probably would've gone along with it.
––––––As a textbook. To learn what love was.
I didn't understand romance.
I didn't know love.
I didn't understand relationships between men and women.
I didn't know the shame or pleasure that came with it, or anything of the sort.
The me from before would've accepted Hiyori's confession without a second thought and become her boyfriend.
But now was different.
I had... expectations for Hiyori.
A new hope I'd never even considered before. After all the time I'd spent with her, I'd begun wishing for something more from her.
That's why, in response to her confession, I had to make my own judgment.
Not as a pawn, not as a textbook—but as myself, facing Shiina Hiyori, a girl who had laid her heart bare. The most honest words I could muster right now.
"...I'm really happy about how you feel, Hiyori."
"..."
Her face twisted in anguish.
The words I'd chosen could easily be taken as rejection.
"...So it's true, then? You... like Sakayanagi-san?"
"No. That's not it."
"Then who...? Matsushita-san? Ibuki-san?"
"It's not like that, Hiyori."
Her hands clenched tightly around my clothes as she looked down, her expression a mix of sorrow and despair.
"This might sound strange, but... my emotions are shallow. I've never been in love before. I've never liked anyone that way."
It was the truth.
I knew nothing. I'd never known.
"That's why... I don't know how to answer you, Hiyori. I don't know what's right or wrong."
There had to have been a better way to phrase it, but for some reason, all that came out were these half-hearted excuses. I couldn't help but feel a little disgusted with myself.
"This might just sound like a convenient excuse, but... because of my own issues, I can't return your feelings right now. If I accepted them here, I wouldn't be able to face you with my real feelings."
If possible, I wanted to genuinely come to like Hiyori.
This was my honest thought—yet at the same time, it wasn't.
Because part of me wished for it, while another part knew it was impossible.
"..."
Hiyori clung to me again, pressing me down as she embraced me from above.
"Can I... ask you something?"
"...Sure."
Once again, her clear, beautiful voice whispered right into my ear.
"Do you... find me attractive?"
"...Of course. To me—to anyone—Hiyori is incredibly attractive."
"Would it bother you... if I kept loving you from now on?"
"Not at all. Your feelings make me genuinely happy. It's just... my own weakness getting in the way."
She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing our bodies together.
Her clothes were thin, and I could feel every soft curve of hers against me—but she didn't seem to mind.
"I don't think... I could ever like any other guy. I can't imagine anyone more wonderful than you."
"That's... really flattering."
"So... I'll work hard to make you like me too. From now on, I'll be even more forward with my feelings!"
...Honestly, Hiyori had already been plenty forward before. If she turned it up even further, what was going to happen?
For just a second, a lewd thought flashed through my mind—but I shook my head violently, as if trying to cast it away.
.....
Before I knew it, Hiyori—who had been using my arm as a pillow—started poking my shoulder lightly.
"What's up?"
"Oh, it's nothing. I just... felt a little hesitant for a second."
She flashed me a radiant smile, so bright that I had to look away.
"Why are you avoiding my eyes? I want you to look at me."
Hiyori tugged at my shirt, her grip a little firmer than usual. Maybe the confession earlier had given her more confidence.
Resigned, I turned my gaze back to her, and she relaxed her cheeks happily. It was still hard to believe that such an adorable girl could have feelings for someone like me.
"Hehe... It's kind of strange, isn't it? Just lying here together like this already makes me so happy."
She murmured this as she snuggled closer, pressing against my chest.
"That much?"
"That much. Being like this... makes me want to stay with you forever."
Her cheerful tone was unmistakable.
"...Say, Hikigaya-kun, do you prefer women with bigger chests too?"
She glanced down at her own chest, her voice tinged with disappointment.
"...What brought this up?"
"I overheard you talking with Ishizaki-kun and the others about... that before. It's been on my mind ever since."
"Ah... right, that happened."
I distinctly remember the sharp glares from the girls in class that day.
"Well, I guess some guys might find bigger breasts more attractive, but not everyone cares. I don't."
"...You looked a little happy when Matsushita-san linked arms with you the other day, didn't you?"
Her gaze turned accusing, and I faltered.
"N-No, that was just... a natural reaction. Unavoidable, really."
Hiyori's glare intensified, as if she'd caught a cheating boyfriend red-handed.
"Hikigaya-kun, you're such a pervert."
"That's unfair."
"It's not unfair at all! You're the one with bad habits, Hikigaya-kun! It's all your fault for charming so many girls. Everything is your fault!"
She huffed and turned away.
Her harsh judgment felt unreasonable, but I held my tongue, knowing anything I said now would only make her sulk more.
Pouting, Hiyori lifted her face from my chest, and our eyes inevitably met—causing her cheeks to flush deeply. It seemed her sense of shame was still intact.
"...Hikigaya-kun, I think... I might be a little greedy."
Keeping her gaze locked on mine, she slowly leaned closer.
Her expression was a mix of vulnerability and shyness, her lips slightly pursed.
Anticipating what she wanted, I closed the distance as well... and our lips met.
At first, it was just a simple, chaste kiss. The brief contact lasted only a moment before I pulled back, but Hiyori—her eyes half-lidded—immediately leaned in again.
"Mmm... More... I want more..."
This time, she didn't let our lips part.
We stayed like that for a while, but as a healthy high school boy, a mere kiss wasn't enough to satisfy me.
"Sorry."
With that brief warning, I slipped my tongue into her mouth.
"Nngh—!"
The deeper kiss sent heat rushing through my body. At first, Hiyori seemed startled, but soon she was actively tangling her tongue with mine.
"It feels... good... More..."
Even when we broke apart, she chased after my lips, kissing me again and again.
Her expression—flushed, intoxicated, and more seductive than I'd ever seen—was impossible to look away from.
"I love you... Love you... I love you so much..."
Between whispered confessions, her heated gaze never left me.
Responding to her relentless kisses, I wrapped my arms around her, fingers threading through her long, beautiful silver hair.
Our feverish embrace didn't end until we were both completely satisfied.
.....
"Did she fall asleep...?"
I gently stroked Hiyori's head as she clung to my arm, her breathing steady and rhythmic in sleep.
Being confessed to by Hiyori... made me happy.
It was still something uncertain, but maybe I was starting to understand just a little.
"..."
I gave Hiyori an honest answer because it was her. If I said something irresponsible here, I wouldn't be able to face her properly ever again.
There were other girls I had expectations for too, which was why I couldn't just accept Hiyori's confession.
I knew it was dishonest. But responding to her feelings when my own were still unclear would be even more disrespectful to her.
"...Ayanokouji would have accepted it, wouldn't he?"
If it were Ayanokouji, he probably would have accepted the confession just to learn what love was.
To be honest, the same thought had crossed my mind too.
But I realized that approach wouldn't work. So maybe I just chose a different method instead.
"...Unknown caller?"
My phone suddenly rang.
It was 1 AM - who would call at this hour, let alone from a private number?
I could ignore it, but if it was some kind of emergency, answering might be better.
I picked up the phone and pressed accept.
"Hachiman Yagami."
Any drowsiness I felt vanished at those words. My guard went up as I focused completely.
They knew my old surname - was this someone from the White Room? The voice sounded male, but they could be disguising it.
More importantly right now - why contact me at this moment? I needed to find out.
"Who are you? How do you know me?"
No response came.
Just silence stretching for dozens of seconds.
"I'm neither friend nor foe to you or Ayanokouji Kiyotaka."
With those final words, the call ended.
"..."
Knowing both my old name and Ayanokouji's full name meant they definitely knew about the White Room - and in considerable depth.
But they didn't feel like a White Room student to me. I couldn't imagine them doing something so reckless.
Which meant...
"Could they be a classmate?"
Either way, their identity remained unknown. They claimed to be neutral - neither ally nor enemy - but there was no way to verify that.
"Mmm... Hachiman...kun...?"
Maybe because I'd been staring at my phone so long, Hiyori woke up beside me.
"Is it... morning already?"
Rubbing her sleepy eyes, she let out a small yawn.
"Still night. Sorry for waking you."
"Fufu... Hachiman-kun, you're such a night owl~"
Still half-asleep, she had this soft, dreamy aura about her that I couldn't ignore.
"You can go back to sleep. I'm turning in too."
"Is that so... Then let's do a goodnight chu~, okay?"
Bringing her drowsy face close, she suddenly moved in for a kiss.
"Chu~"
With arms spread wide and eyes closed, she puckered her lips toward me.
Earlier, caught up in the moment, we'd ended up in a pretty deep kiss... but doing it again now felt different. It made me nervous.
Despite my embarrassment, I met her lips with mine.
"Ehehe... I love doing chu~ with Hachiman-kun."
With that sweet, shy murmur, she flopped back onto the bed and returned to dreamland.
Needless to say, I ended up losing quite a bit of sleep that night.
=================================
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