On Earth, it had barely been half an hour since Alexander and Mazikeen left for Hell with Kinley. For the Antichrist, five hours had already gone by. While he was talking to his new generals and Maze about his future plans for Hell and the mouths of his listeners were falling open more and more, the mood on Earth was tense. Ella, Rae Rae, Jophiel, and Lucifer had retreated to the garden. A few candles lit up the patio where they sat together, but they didn't say much. Then, out of nowhere, they heard the sound of huge wings, and there was Gabriel in the garden. His face didn't look like he was in a good mood. Lucifer, already on edge, jumped and asked:
"Gabriel, what's happening?"
The messenger of God didn't look at him as he answered. His eyes were on Rae Rae.
"Nothing's going on, Luci. At least, not that we know of. In this case, no news is very good news as far as this universe is concerned. I'm here for Rae Rae."
The Angel of Death looked at him suspiciously and asked:
"What's up, Gabriel?"
"Message from the other universe. Your arrival is needed urgently. Casiel's about to lose it. And Celine was about to bite their Gabriel's head off when he didn't contact me fast enough to her liking."
Rae Rae got wide-eyed and muttered softly:
"Oh, that's not good."
Gabe looked at her, kind of doubtful, and asked sarcastically:
"You think?"
Jophiel took her head in her hands and said softly:
"May Father protect us..."
Lucifer and Ella looked at the scene, totally confused, and the Latina asked:
"What's going on, and who's Celine? Why would Casiel panic?"
Gabe plopped down on a seat and pointed to Rae Rae, tossing the ball to her. The little Angel said:
"Well, Cas and Alex have always had a special bond. They just have a sixth sense for each other. If Cas is about to panic, then something happened in Hell, or Alex did something that made Cas pick up on his emotions. Or, a combination, and I think this is more likely. I think Alexander hasn't said at home that his plan was to take over the throne so soon. Cas has noticed that he's in Hell wearing the crown, and that's probably why she's about to panic."
Lucifer said:
"I'm sure that should be pretty easy to solve. Gabe, why don't you send a message back and tell them that although it wasn't foreseen, everything seems to be going according to Alexander's plan, and he'll be back on Earth in a few hours?"
Gabriel looked at his older brother, feeling a bit exasperated, and said:
"Oh, thanks, genius; I hadn't thought of that..."
Ella asked,
"What's the problem, then?"
Three angels in the sitting area said just about at the same time:
"Celine!"
The Latina asked:
"Who's this Celine person that you all seem so worried about?"
Rae Rae took a deep breath and replied:
"Picture Maze in a hurricane category 11 mood, and then give her a boatload of steroids. Celine is a Demon who's been in Maze's position in Hell for thousands of years. The Goddess and the God see her as a daughter and treat her like one. Every Demon in their Hell puts on a runner when she's in a rotten mood, and their Michael and Samuel go the extra mile so they don't have to get in her way. That alone should make you nervous when Celine is pissed. But there's more. Celine was Casiel and Alexander's nanny. Even though the kids do not need a nanny anymore, she hovers over them. Have you heard that story about the cocaine bear?"
Ella nodded enthusiastically, but the sometimes unworldly Devil slowly shook his head. Rae Rae sighed:
"Cocaine Bear was a grizzly, also known as Pablo Eskobear. A 175-pound female. Some smugglers flew in about 40 containers of coke, threw them out of the plane, and one of the smugglers jumped out with a parachute. But, wouldn't you know it, Pablo Eskobear found the containers first and started ripping into them, eating a very large amount of the coke before dying of an overdose. That bear was the ultimate apex predator on Earth for a hot minute. Celine wasn't just any nanny; she's a mama grizzly bear, and she's way scarier than Pablo Eskobear when the bear was on that peak of the drug-induced frenzy. Celine gets pissed off easily, and she's ready to go on a rampage the second someone looks at her cubs the wrong way. It doesn't matter whose head she needs chopping off—Angel, Demon, or Human. Just imagine the mood she's in now that one of her cups is kind of AWOL..."
Lucifer got big eyes; his mouth formed the letter O, but no sound came out. The Angel of Death stood up and said:
"I've got to go over there and do damage control. There's a pretty good chance Celine's going to demand I bring her back and take her to Alexander."
She looked at the Devil in a way that made him nervous:
"Lucifer, do us all and especially yourself a big favor. When I come back and Celine is with me, shut the hell up!"
With that, Rae Rae unfurled her wings and took flight, leaving the garden behind.
Gabriel filled a glass for himself and looked at the Devil:
"You and your son each attract a certain kind of woman like sugar attracts bees. The big difference is that the women you attract are easy company for the night and nothing more. You will need to look at your priorities one of these days, bother! Alexander, on the other hand, seems to naturally attract fearsome women, and one by one they are absolutely loyal to that boy. Where he comes from: his mom, Celine, and just about every female Angel or Demon around. Here, just look for yourself, and he has been here for what? Five minutes? Maze found her spot by his side right away, and your friend Ella practically dropped everything and came running with her chicken. Then there's Rae Rae, our little Angel of Death. She can be pretty scary if she's angry. If you want to know a surefire way to piss her off, try getting between her and Casiel. You'll find out just how scary she can be..."
Rae Rae found herself on a small square made of cobblestones in front of a big, fancy-looking beach house in the other universe. The Goddess and the God had decided to swap the palace for this place a few years before. It wasn't long before it became clear that the twins weren't doing well in the big palace. Casiel and Alexander were happiest when they were at the beach house. Plenty of room to run around and spend some of that endless energy they seemed blessed with. They needed a more intimate environment. Their parents couldn't handle the puppy dog eyes the twins could throw, especially when they were plotting together like they almost always did. The palace was basically just a workplace now. The gods were soon wondering why they hadn't done it sooner. Now that there was a clear separation between their home and the palace, everyone seemed more relaxed. Celine was waiting for her by the double entrance door, and Rae Rae let out a big sigh. The blonde Demon looked to be in her early thirties and looked extremely fit. She was dressed in all brown provocative leather and looked more like a badass than someone you'd want to meet at a party. Her gray eyes looked icy cold and almost looked like they were ready to ignite with Hellfire. Rae Rae looked at her, unsure, and gave a nervous little wave, saying:
"Hey Celine, I heard Cas isn't feeling so good..."
The Demon took a deep breath, as if she wanted to scream but held back. Instead, she asked sarcastically:
"What makes you say that? Oh, you mean the fact that our little girl woke up from a nightmare and went on a rampage here because she had dreamed that Alexander was being chased by a horde of raging Demons? What the hell happened, Rae?"
The little Angel took a breath and answered in turn:
"Can I answer that inside, please, Celine? I think Casiel, Salome, and Robert are equally in suspense."
The Demon nodded toward the door and said:
"That chatter you two have in common might be worth it after all! If only to make Fuzzy stop fussing! Let's go!"
Rae Rae followed the furious blonde inside. As they stepped into the living room, a red-haired girl with summer freckles jumped up from the couch where she had been waiting, looking more or less like a heap of misery. The girl ran up to little Angel and threw herself into her arms. Rae Rae caught her deftly and hugged the obviously frightened girl.
"Rae Rae, what happened? Is Alexander okay?"
The Angel gave her a gentle kiss on the head and said reassuringly:
"Chill out, summer fairy; everything's A-okay. Everything is under control."
Meanwhile, in the living room, the Goddess and God sat in two big, comfy seats, waiting with bated breath. She was a very elegant lady of Southern descent, and she was wearing a royal blue dress. He looked tall, broad-shouldered, and fit. He was a classy, stylish guy in his mid-fifties. He was wearing a light gray three-piece suit that matched his hair and short ring beard, which were a bit gray. Rae Rae nodded to them. Right then, a stocky figure came into the room, carrying a tray with a few cups that looked like they had hot drinks in them. He was wearing what looked like a dark blue djellaba. His expression conveyed his dissatisfaction with the situation. He let out a growl, and then he said:
"Damn, Rae Rae! Where's Alex?"
The Angel smiled at the slightly chubby man and said:
"Like I already told Casiel, Alex is okay, Rafael."
He looked at her, not quite believing, but started handing out cups when Casiel asked:
"If Alex is okay, why did I feel so bad, and why did I have a nightmare?"
Rae Rae sat down on a sofa and pulled the girl to her.
"Believe me, Cas, there's nothing wrong. Otherwise, Michael would've noticed right away, and we would've done something. I think I know why you felt bad. I think it is because you were getting emotions from Alexander inside. It's possible that in our Hell, he had to do something he didn't like, which caused his emotions to peak. You'll have picked up on those, but since he's in a different Hell and universe, it might have messed with your perspective."
That was the moment the Goddess spoke:
"What's he doing in your Hell, Rae Rae? That was never mentioned! The whole reason Alexander went himself was to avoid misery. On several levels. For starters, he didn't want his father to go through something that couldn't be undone. But also so that Talia wouldn't have to go back, which she wanted to do at first. There was no guarantee that things wouldn't get out of hand with El if she went through with it. That is the reason she is not here. Keeping Cas and Celine calm was a challenge enough; what the heck do you think would have happened if his grandma had known? He just wanted to save his father, keep his grandmother out of harm's way, and move on until he was older and more mature to take that damn throne. That's the only reason why, at such a young age, we agreed to this. If we had known he was going to go to your Hell straight away, we would never have agreed to it."
Rae Rae nodded, sighed, and replied:
"I fear we have all, without exception, been played by our charming Antichrist."
Salome, Celine, and Casiel groaned, and Robert's mouth lifted into a slight, soft smile. Rafael, who'd been following the convo from his seat, hummed in his low voice:
"What do you mean?"
She looked at him.
"Out of everyone, you probably know him best, Fuzzie, at least intellectually. How many times has he used you in the past as a sounding board when he was trying to find an answer to a problem or when he was tinkering with his long-term strategy?"
The stocky Angel didn't say much, just nodded, and Rae Rae kept going.
"Did he say, to any of you, exactly when he wanted to take the throne? What did he say? Did he say in the future, in five years, when he would be twenty-one, maybe twenty-five? Or did he just say "in the future" without getting specific? After all, tomorrow is also the future; in five minutes is the future."
Robert said:
"You think that kid of ours had it in mind from the beginning to go to Hell and take the throne as fast as he could?"
The Angel of Death nodded:
"Yep, at least when I saw and heard your reaction and then combined that with the fact that he made it so damn easy for us to assume that you guys here knew about his plan."
Rafael hummed in response.
"Assumption is the mother of all fuckups; that's Alexander's motto. You guys know that, so why did you assume we'd know?"
Celine joined in, her voice tinged with exhaustion:
"That's exactly why, Fuzzie! That brat unwittingly pushed them to make the assumption that presented itself so easily to them because he made it so fucking easy to bite!"
Rae Rae got a little smile:
"Yep, and we all stepped into a big pile of doodoo with our eyes wide open!"
The Angel in his djellaba asked in a rough voice:
"How?"
The Angel shook her head gently:
"As soon as Lucifer's name popped up on my list, it was like a signal to set off a chain of events. A bunch of things started happening all at once. Everyone involved would look from one thing to the next. When Alex showed up in our universe, things started happening one after another. Heaven went into chaos because the big secret got out. Amenadiel reacted in his usual ridiculous way; Alex banished him and Muriel to Heaven with a clear message. Michael, who couldn't do much more than respond to that message. Then there was the arrival of the new Nephilim when Lukas announced his birth. Some of the angels got kicked off Earth. Some angels took the opportunity to reconnect with their brother. Then, Father announced his return and recognized Alex's claim to the throne of Lucifer, and, to top it off, recognized him as the Crown Prince of Heaven. Our heads were spinning, and our little Antichrist had more than enough distractions to throw us off and made us make the assumption we did."
Beside her, the red-haired girl giggled:
"He was playing 4D chess..."
The Angel also had to giggle a little and said:
"Yeah, and most of us can barely play 2D chess. Not exactly fair play from Alex..."
Celine snorted.
"And saying he learned that not from a Demon but from Micky! If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough! And of course that feathered bookworm pretending to be a general must in turn have that from a professional wrestler, as if they weren't already cheating hard enough there and putting on a show. For fuck's sake!"
Celine jumped up, still a little angry, even though she knew Alex was okay and seemed to have everything under control. At the same time, the girl jumped up and said, full of energy:
"Okay, let's go!"
Everyone in the room stared at the young teenager, not sure what to make of it. She sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Oh, come on, we all know what's going to happen next. Mom, Celine, or both at the same time, whatever, are going to send me to bed. Once I'm out of the way, Celine's going to demand that you take her and bring her to Alexander. You're going to fight it, and then Celine's going to threaten you with some serious bodily harm, and then you're going to cave and take her."
Celine looked at the girl and asked:
"And what does that have to do with you, half-pint?"
Casiel smiled sweetly and said, pouty:
"Well... Imagine what could happen if a girl, maybe an Angel but not an ordinary Angel with ordinary supernatural powers—no, a special Angel, let's say the crown princess who can tap into the power of both thrones—suddenly became angry. Also, when Grandma Ta came to live here, she recognized not only my brother as her grandson but also me as her granddaughter, and she poured half of her divine powers into me. Imagine how much physical harm I could inflict on you guys if I, oh, I don't know, shot into a typical teenage temper tantrum..."
Everyone in the living room looked at her, wide-eyed, and eventually, Fuzzie muttered under his breath:
"We messed up big time the day the twins were born! It was supposed to be Alex as the Crown Prince of Heaven and Cas as the Crown Princess of Hell. Damn..."
Salome looked serious and squeezed her eyes shut slightly.
"Casiel?"
"The girl turned to her mother, the Goddess, and said gravely:
"No, Mama! I have to do this. I need to be near Alexander for a while, and he needs me near him for a while. At least until he's strong enough to use the powers of the thrones in that universe and come home. Besides, you heard it, Lucas is born; our little nephew is here. It has to be Mom..."
Her dad, the God Robert, shook his head and looked at Rae Rae.
"May all that is holy and unholy protect your universe..."
When they were silent, the Angel of Death whispered:
"May Father have mercy on me for what I am about to do..."
She folded her hands, closed her eyes, and sent a message to Gabe.
In Hell, it was just after noon. Alexander conjured up some food for himself and his guests, and they kept chatting away about the new future for Hell. He said:
"Bearus, our demons have been forbidden to go to Earth for an eternity. I get Lucifer's ban on demonic possession. It's a blatant violation of people's free will. Like my father, I'm a big believer that free will should never be taken away, even if it causes as much or more suffering in humans. Take away free will, and yes, you can eradicate violence, wars, and all that crap. At the same time, you take away the unbridled love that hides in humans, their drive to discover, their mercifulness. I think this ban, as it is now, is too strict. I think we should let our demons go to Earth in their physical form, but only in small groups and with very strict rules."
The general inquired:
"What exactly were you thinking about, Alex?"
"If things here are somewhat sorted out now that we have sent Lilith and her riff-raff walking. Let's say in a few weeks, I'd like to start a pilot project. I'm thinking teams of two and strict rules. I'm talking no body-snatching, no killing, and no dancing on tables in public just so that humans can get a video to put online. I am primarily considering teams that could potentially travel to Earth in order to intimidate specific individuals and, ideally, discourage them from engaging in actions that I believe are immoral. Teams of two, maybe in the jungles of South America, Africa, or Asia. If they go out together, they can watch each other and report back if one of them goes too far, causing that one to immediately lose his privilege to go to Earth for the next, let's say, thousand years. Maybe we could start with three teams, one on each continent. Let them go out, have some fun, come back, tell their stories to others. We build some momentum for the project, and if they are good little Demons, they can go out and play more often with more teams. At the same time, we can start monitoring them and pick out a couple that are really trustworthy that I can put on other projects on Earth later on."
"And what is their so-called prey then?"
He got a big smile and replied:
"To begin with, poachers. I want those idiots to disappear from those jungles as much as possible so that they stop hunting species that are in danger of extinction. Tigers, lions, rhinos, and jaguars. That way, those species have a better chance of surviving and growing their population again. We could later extend that to illegal loggers or looters who want to loot archaeological sites. But you get my point."
Everyone nodded in agreement. What they saw in their minds was exactly what Alexander was aiming for. By letting the Demons hunt people on Earth for a night as a kind of reward for good behavior, they could contribute to things that Earth really needs, like protecting nature and animals or cultural heritage. Then, Alex suddenly turned deathly pale and muttered under his breath:
"Oh, no, no, no, please don't do that..."
He folded his hands and seemed to be praying. At one point, he said aloud:
"Oh crap! Gabriel, no matter what happens or what she says, Casiel's staying at the house until I get back in a few hours. Tell Rae Rae to focus on me when she comes in for a landing because we're going to explore the city later!"
They also heard other words, but that in turn gave them pretty big eyes.
Gabe was enjoying his drink. After Rae Rae disappeared, things calmed down pretty quickly. Meanwhile, Ella and Jophiel were chatting with each other while he talked to Lucifer about stuff that wasn't really important. That was when he got the prayer from Rae Rae, asking him to contact Alexander because she was going to return with both Celine and Casiel. He wasn't a big fan of the idea of Alex's sister joining them, and he wasn't too thrilled about the plan at all after he mentioned it to Alexander. Lucifer saw Gabe's face contort, and when the latter suddenly reached for his glass and knocked it back in one go, the Devil asked:
"What's wrong, Gabe?"
The Messenger of God looked at him and said:
"YOU, that's what's wrong. This is all your fault! Instead of enjoying the peace and quiet in Heaven, playing your harp, and singing a little, you had to start the whole discussion about free will. I'm still the messenger of a God who thinks he has to get his message across in no more than 160 characters or less, like he's on old Twitter. And if I'm right, then in the future I'll have a new boss who uses way too many characters to paint a vivid picture of what he'll do to you if he doesn't get his way."
The red-headed, curly-haired angel poured himself another glass, took a big sip, and asked in a playful tone:
"Tell me, master chef, what exactly in the kitchen do they mean by rotisserie?"
Lucifer smiled broadly and, without much thought, said:
"Oh, that. It's roasting a chicken or some other kind of poultry..."
Gabriel interrupted him abruptly:
"Right, yeah, other poultry!"
The Devil didn't get it, and Ella asked, kind of suspiciously:
"What about Alexander?"
Gabe replied:
"Oh, not so much. Rae Rae will be back soon with both Celine and Casiel. I passed that message on to Alex, and he didn't exactly react excitedly, I must say. He said that if I didn't do everything I could to put his sister's mind at ease, since he'd banned her from our Hell, he'd shove my feathered ass into a rotisserie. Then he'd feed me as an Angel Flambe to Cerberus and Wodan and their pups."
The Latina blinked her eyes rapidly and practically whispered:
"A what now to whom now?"
Gabe shook his head, sighed, and said:
"Twisting me on a spit, setting me on fire, and feeding me to the hounds of Hell, that now..."
He drank the rest of his glass and muttered:
"Oh jeez, what kind of answer might I get? I wonder if I deliver this message to Casiel."
Less than a minute later, Gabriel completely changed color and became a whole lot smaller on his seat. He got his glass refilled and downed it in one. Lucifer looked at him strangely and asked suspiciously:
"Do we want to know?"
Gabe shook his head and said:
"Nop. Something about making a feathered bagpipe and other stuff... She has quit the imagination and is not too thrilled with Alex for banning her from our Hell. Man, Rae Rae really didn't exaggerate! That girl really does have a potty mouth!"