After dinner, Kaiser grinned widely. "Now, gentlemen, the true marvel of this house awaits you! Prepare yourselves to be amazed, for what you're about to witness is beyond the scope of mortal comprehension!"
Xiao Yan exchanged a look with Yao Lao. "It's just a house, right?"
Kaiser waved his hand dramatically, "Oh, you have no idea! This place is legendary! Every room has its own history, its own power. Follow me!"
And so, the tour began
They started with the Living Room, which was, as expected, ridiculously grand. Kaiser threw open the door and gestured with a flourish.
"Behold! The heart of relaxation!" he proclaimed. "The couch is made of a thousand-year-old enchanted silk! It's perfect for watching—well, whatever I feel like watching, really. But mostly me."
Yao Lao and Xiao Yan exchanged blank stares.
"You have a strange sense of comfort," Xiao Yan muttered, still bewildered by the sheer amount of cushions.
"Exactly! Nothing says comfort like excessive comfort," Kaiser replied, flopping onto the couch with a smug grin. He threw his arm over the backrest, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
Next, they entered the Collection Room, which was Kaiser's pride and joy. "Welcome to my finest collection!" Kaiser said, grandly sweeping his arms around. "I present to you... figurines! The finest female figurines across realms!"
Xiao Yan's eyes scanned the shelves, and his eyebrow twitched. "Uh… okay. Are they supposed to do something?"
"Oh, they do something alright," Kaiser said with a wink. "These beauties are alive with mystical energy. They represent strength, grace, and of course… alluring charm."
Yao Lao, ever the curious one, floated over to a shelf and picked up one of the figurines, an elegant woman in armor. He turned it over, admiring the craftsmanship. "Hmmm, impressive. It's quite detailed. What does it—"
Before he could finish, the figurine's clothes shimmered and suddenly transformed into a tight, battle-ready suit of armor. The figure's posture shifted, as if it were ready for battle. Yao Lao blinked, startled, and then looked back at the figurine in awe.
"Interesting... the clothes are enchanted! Impressive, Kaiser, this is quite the mystical artifact," Yao Lao said with a grin, looking way too excited about the transformation.
Kaiser's eyes widened as he watched. "I didn't think that one would activate so easily. You see, Yao Lao, that figurine has a battle suit feature. It's pretty standard for—"
But Yao Lao, with a gleam in his eyes, gave the figurine a little more attention. He ran his fingers along the edge of the armor, and before anyone could stop him, the figurine's clothes shifted again—this time turning into an even skimpier version of the battle armor. The figure now had a high-cut design that revealed a lot more skin than expected.
Xiao Yan couldn't help himself; he burst into laughter. "Are you serious?! What kind of battle suit is that?"
Yao Lao froze, his hand still lingering on the figurine. He looked down at it with a sheepish grin. "Er… well, it seems I might have… activated a feature by accident?"
Kaiser slapped his forehead. "Yao Lao, seriously, don't make it worse!" He waved his hands in the air, as if trying to salvage some dignity for the collection.
But it was too late. Yao Lao, undeterred, leaned in closer and whispered, "Fascinating… it seems the armor responds to the energy of its viewer. This is quite… stimulating."
Xiao Yan's face turned bright red. "Old man, I think you need to stop."
Kaiser sighed, rubbing his temples. "Great. I knew I should've put a warning on the figurines. They're, uh… a little too interactive, sometimes."
Yao Lao, finally pulling himself away from the figurine, grinned mischievously. "Don't worry, I won't make any further modifications to the collection. But I have to admit… it's a rather powerful collection you have here, Kaiser. Quite impressive."
Kaiser shot Yao Lao a glare. "Yeah, sure. It's definitely powerful. Wanna see something more enchanting?" Kaiser smirked and tap on a Little button on the figurine's side. Now all clothes disappeared. Yao Lao just stared like the pervert he is. "This is a master piece. Such beautiful craftsmanship..... Kaiser... Can I have her " Yao lao asked clearly nosebleeding. Kaiser smirked before he could reply Xiao Yan whacked Kaiser on the head and turned to his perverted Master. "HAVE SOME DECENCY" he yelled. Yao lao just cleared his throat and placed the naked figurine back at its place.
Xiao Yan's face was still a shade of red, but he couldn't help but laugh. "You two are ridiculous. Perverts."
Kaiser rubbed his head and cleared his throat, trying to salvage the situation. "Right! Moving on! Let's not linger too long on the enchanting powers of these figurines, shall we?"
They continued on with the tour, but Yao Lao, his eyes sparkling with a new curiosity, kept glancing back at the figurines. Xiao Yan made a mental note to never leave Yao Lao alone in the room again.
As the tour continued through the house—past the swimming pool, training room, and the meditation chamber—they eventually reached the final stop: The Room of God.
Kaiser suddenly grew somber, even more serious than usual. He looked at Xiao Yan and Yao Lao. "This is the most sacred part of the house. It is a place of great power, where the most important creature resides."
Yao Lao leaned in, his curiosity piqued. "Is it some sort of ancient artifact? A secret power?"
Kaiser nodded solemnly, opening the door with great care. "Prepare yourselves for a revelation beyond your wildest dreams."
They entered the room, and—
There was Lil Cloud, the purple-winged lion cub, lying on a pile of soft pillows. It lazily opened one eye, then closed it again as if to say, "Do you mind? I'm napping."
Xiao Yan stared. "That's… the Room of God?"
Kaiser scratched the back of his head. "Uh, yeah. Lil Cloud here is a legendary creature. Don't let his size fool you. He's got immense potential." He smiled proudly. Then started to kiss Lil cloud. Until the cub scratched him across the nose. "AAAAAARGH TRAITOR". Kaiser screamed holding his nose
Yao Lao, still clearly trying to process the earlier figurine incident, blinked. "So… this is the creature of legend?" He looked at Lil Cloud who was licking himself over and over as if to clean out the filth that tainted it's divine body aka Kaiser's smooches, with a mixture of surprise and disbelief.
Lil Cloud yawned again, stretching out its little wings as if completely uninterested in the heavy expectations placed upon it. He looked up at Kaiser then went back napping as if Kaiser was below him to care about .
Kaiser sighed. "Okay, okay, I know it's not the grandest thing, but this little guy has the heart of a warrior. Trust me, he's a big deal."
Xiao Yan could only laugh. "From legendary warrior to... giant house cat."
Yao Lao raised an eyebrow, clearly a bit disappointed. "I suppose it's one way to save the world..."
Kaiser shot both of them a playful glare. "Hey, don't underestimate him! He's got more fight in him than you'd think!"
And with that, the tour ended, leaving Yao Lao still eyeing the figurine collection with mixed emotions, Xiao Yan laughing at the absurdity of it all, and Kaiser just hoping no more clothes-transformation accidents happened for a while.