"Who am I?"
Mitch had just finished setting the parameters for the world design, and he had asked the KAT to turn itself off until he was done sorting his thoughts.
He sat down in the white void, not being able to tell whether he was still or moving. It was a weird feeling, sitting in the middle of this void.
He was able to walk around just fine, but there was no feeling of floor underneath him, almost like his steps propelled him forward rather than repelling him from the ground.
"I am Mitch Khadeic, a human researcher and a perfectionist. I was born on Tellus, in Yorop in the year 2858. I have been an orphan since birth, and lived until I was 37 years old."
Trying to reassure himself of his identity, Mitch kept repeating this phrase like a mantra.
He scoured his memory for anything he could use, anything that could convince him that his time on Tellus was not meaningless.
"But at the same time, I am a Khad. The life I thought I lived was a simulation meant to give me the information necessary to effectively become a God." Another voice appeared in his head similar to his own, but colder and more rational.
The new voice was infesting his mind with his subconscious thoughts, slowly whittling at his mentality, trying to force him to accept the new reality he had to grapple with.
"Is this what people with bipolar disorder feel like? Two clashing personalities, fighting for domination in one's own mind. I will need to come up with a solution fast. Let's start with sifting through what I experienced on Tellus. Surely, there is something I'm missing."
Mitch put his head into his hands in an attempt to block out the white light surrounding him from all sides.
"First of all, my name. Right when I was born I got my name from Theodor, but as opposed to just giving me a first name, he also gave me his own last name. Why would the simulation deem Theodor as an important enough character so as to give him a last name, and Khadeic at that?"
"The logical conclusion would be that this is simply something the simulation did out of convenience. Maybe it's an attempt to soften the blow I would suffer when the truth was finally revealed. But I want to believe there is something else going on."
"Secondly, my emotional state right now. I still feel disgust and shock from the situation and how accepting I am, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot muster any anger or sadness. I know for a fact that I can feel frustration. Otherwise, I seem to have accepted the situation too quickly."
"The only inkling of sadness I can invoke is from the time that Theodor died, but that is illogical. Every other emotion associated with my time on Tellus has been suppressed beyond recognition. Was there something unique with Theodor that allows me to keep remembering him?"
Up until this point, Mitch had a sneaking suspicion about how fake the simulation actually was.
There were many things not adding up, hinting that there was something bigger brewing in the background. But there was one thing left which sealed the deal.
"Lastly, the way the simulation ended. It stated that I exceeded the expected outcome for the simulation, but that makes no sense. The simulation had clearly made cancer out to be the end goal with my life in there. Otherwise, why would it make Theodor die from it? Unless…"
Mitch's thoughts jolted at this conclusion and he started sweating. From the moment the simulation ended he had been skeptical about the extent to which the simulation was fake. There were too many coincidences.
"Unless Theodor's behavior was never aligned with the simulation. Probably, he was just supposed to find me during my infancy and adopt me. He would then raise me until I became an adult and then leave, freeing me from the only bond I had growing up."
"I would then finish my education, find someone to fall in love with, start a family, and live out my life. Then, I would succumb to cancer or something similar."
"But Theodor changed that. He started by teaching me the futility of human struggle against nature, followed by indoctrinating me with the belief that human limitations were what prevented us from conquering the universe."
"He then somehow caused his own death through cancer, to motivate me into finding a way to cure it. Actually doing it probably has to do with me being a Khad. That also explains why no human was able to find the cure—it was simply a matter of authority."
He was shocked by the revelation, so much so that even his Khad self was starting to accept the sentiment of the human side. His breaths became more natural and his body loosened.
The white void seemed to have regained an orange color that Mitch was unaware it had lost. It became warmer and more inviting, as if reacting to Mitch's mood. But then the colder voice started to doubt his deductions.
"But that makes no sense. Although I am consciously not willing to accept it, I know for a fact that the simulation is absolute. There should be no way for variables as big as these to appear. Is all of this just a weird coincidence, and I'm just reading too much into it?"
The color that the white space had gained was now dimming rapidly, turning gray and depressing, and the previous warmth was rapidly cooling to a chilly breeze.
Mitch had become so excited for a moment, thinking that he actually had some minute sign of truth. Turns out that it was just his wishful thinking.