Lance was grinning.
That was never a good sign.
I barely had time to catch my breath before he shoved a piece of dried meat in his mouth and spoke through a mouthful
"You break the world again yet?" he asked, voice laced with amusement.
I collapsed onto the grass beside him, groaning. "Give it an hour."
He let out a low whistle. "Man, I dunno how you're still alive. If I had your luck, I'd probably fall into an open well and drown."
"You say that like I haven't almost done that before."
Lance snorted, shifting so he could glance at me. His golden eyes flicked across my disheveled appearance, the remnants of soot on my sleeves, the faint trace of magical sparks in my hair, the new bruise forming on my forehead.
"Rough day?"
I threw an arm over my face. "The usual."
He hummed, unbothered as ever. "So, what was it this time? Blacksmith? Baker? Some poor merchant just passing through?"
"...All of the above."
He stretched his arms over his head, completely at ease as if we were lounging on a vacation and not sitting atop a hill where I had just escaped another village disaster. "You know," he mused, "I think you should start charging for this."
I shot him a look.
"No, really," he continued, straight-faced. Then, with a flourish, he stood, cupped his hands around his mouth, and bellowed, "COME ONE, COME ALL! WITNESS THE LEGENDARY UNLUCKY MAGE! Watch as he defies the laws of probability and destroys the world around him without lifting a finger! Only three copper coins per viewing…"
I kicked his leg.
He yelped, flopping back onto the grass, wheezing with laughter.
"Idiot," I muttered.
He wiped a tear from his eye. "I missed my calling as a showman."
I shook my head. "You missed your calling as someone with a functional brain."
Lance grinned. "And yet, I'll be using that brain when I'm studying in Arcanis, while you're still here, breaking fruit stands."
I exhaled through my nose. "Lance, do you even understand how difficult it is to get into Arcanis?"
"Oh, here we go," he sighed, waving his hand dramatically.
"No, seriously." I sat up, crossing my arms. "The Academy of Arcanis isn't some back-alley magic school where they let in every fool with a dream. It's the greatest magical institution in the world. People train their entire lives just to have a chance at getting in. And those who do? Half of them don't even make it through the entrance exam."
Lance shrugged. "So? That just means I'll be in the half that does."
"You do realize people have been hospitalized in the entrance exam, right?"
He waved dismissively. "Oh please, those are just scare stories to keep the weak-willed out."
"They are not stories," I deadpanned. "They're historical accounts."
Lance pursed his lips. "Fine, so some people get hospitalized. That just means the rest of us get better dorm rooms."
I buried my face in my hands. "I swear, talking to you lowers my intelligence."
He threw me a look. "Lighten up, Asher. Can't a guy dream?"
I sighed. That was the thing with Lance. He was a dreamer. An optimist. He could find hope in a burning house and call it "free warmth."
Me? I was a realist. A reluctant realist, but a realist nonetheless.
"Okay, fine." I relented, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Let's pretend for a second that you actually pass the entrance exam. Then what?"
He grinned. "Then? Then I become a legend."
I rolled my eyes. "Of course."
"Think about it, Ash." He gestured grandly to the sky. "It's The Arcanis, a floating city of mages, hidden from the world, where only the most gifted gather. Legends walk its halls. Magic lingers in the air. Home to the strongest mages of our generation."
"The most pretentious of our kingdom," I muttered.
He ignored me, eyes practically sparkling as he continued. "Picture it. The Grand Spires, the floating citadels, the libraries where books whisper their knowledge. And the Mess Hall! A place where the food literally changes to match your preferences. Imagine, Asher! Endless steak!"
I gave him a blank stare. "You're applying to Arcanis for the food?"
"Among other things." He waggled his eyebrows. "Like the ladies."
I let out the longest sigh of my life. "You absolute fool."
"Listen, I know you're allergic to fun, but imagine it! Gorgeous, noble-born ladies with perfect posture, flawless skin, and magical talent beyond our wildest dreams." He sighed wistfully. "One day, I'll be surrounded by beautiful women, and they'll all fight over me."
I snorted. "No, they won't."
"Why not?"
"Because they'll take one look at you and decide being single is a better alternative."
Lance clutched his chest, pretending to be wounded. "That hurts, my friend."
I leaned back against the tree, staring up at the darkening sky. "You know, I admire your delusions."
"They're not delusions. They're goals."
"Uh-huh."
"And you? What are your goals?"
I scoffed. "To not be crushed under falling debris?"
"Come on, Ash. Be serious."
I hesitated.
The truth was, I didn't have grand dreams like Lance. I wasn't the kind of guy who reached for the stars. I was just trying to survive without getting set on fire.
"I just want a normal life," I admitted.
Lance raised a brow. "Define 'normal.'"
"You know. Nothing extravagant. A simple, quiet life where I don't break things by existing."
"Sounds boring."
"It sounds safe."
Lance shook his head. "You're wasted on this village, man."
I shrugged. "Better wasted than dead."
He was about to retort when…
FWUMP.
Something heavy crashed into my head.
I yelped, nearly falling over as I scrambled to catch whatever had assaulted me. My fingers wrapped around something thick and crinkled. Paper? No, parchment.
Lance blinked. "Uh. Did the sky just throw something at you?"
I turned the parchment over, my fingers trembling slightly. My stomach dropped.
It was a letter.
Not just any letter, a thick, high-quality parchment, its edges lined with shimmering silver ink. An intricate emblem of swirling magic was pressed into the wax seal, glinting under the light.
Slowly, I unfolded it, my breath hitching as my eyes locked onto the words written in bold, elegant script:
To Asher Ardent,
By decree of the Academy of Arcanis, you have been selected to partake in this year's entrance examination. Your presence is requested at the designated testing grounds, where you will have the opportunity to prove your worth among the finest aspiring mages of the kingdom.
May your magic guide you well.
I stared.
Lance stared.
The wind howled through the trees.
Lance slowly turned to me, eyes wide. Then…
He burst out laughing.
"Oh, this is rich!" he howled. "You?! You got an invitation?!"
I opened my mouth. No words came out.
Because what could I even say?
I had spent the entire day explaining why I had no chance of getting into Arcanis.
And now?
Now I was holding proof that I was doomed.