Heavenly Realm
In a marble pantheon located on one of the peaks of the Atlas Mountains, twelve individuals were currently discussing the matters of the mortal realm.
"Brother Long, stop sleeping! I want you to get me the report for the number of mortals born during your most recent year!" A fierce looking woman with tiger ears slammed the circular table in front of her, causing cracks to web out within the table.
Just then, a rabbit-eared young man wearing a white collar shirt stood up and lamented.
"Sister Hu, can you not be so rough? We just had the table replaced last weekend. Do you not feel hurt when they cut the table's cost from our paychecks?"
"They are paying us a measly three hundred heavenly stones. What is there to cut?!" Sister Hu turned her ferocious gaze towards the white collared rabbit and scowled.
The white collared rabbit began to sweat when he met her burning gaze. "I just didn't want you to break another table. So please stop looking at me like that..."
Sister Hu heard this and hmphed loudly.
As the head of the Zodiacs, she had to maintain her regality and not give in to her explosive nature.
"Fine. I'll try my best to control my best when slamming the table."
"Wouldn't it be better to not slam the table...at all?" The rabbit young man sighed, his eyes full of helplessness.
"Anyways, where was I? Ah yes, Brother Long, hand me your report right now!" Sister Hu shouted as she 'gently tapped' the table in front of her.
With a loud bang, Sister Hu directly snapped a portion of the celestial marble table off.
It was only then did the sleepy Brother Long show signs of waking up.
The man with dragon horns protruding out of his head rubbed his eyes a few times. He then released a long yawn at Sister Hu, unknowingly spraying her with his drool.
After a cup of tea's time, Brother Long closed his mouth and started to play with his whiskers.
"Did someone call my name?" He asked slowly, his mind still focused on his steely whiskers.
Just as the words left his mouth, Brother Long felt his left cheek grow hot. It was like his cheek was next to the Sun.
Boom!
A loud explosion followed with Brother Long being slapped into the pantheon's wall.
"Ouch~"
A soft squeak rang out afterwards.
The perpetrator, Sister Hu, felt her blood pressure rising as she watched the dragon headed man slide off the wall like a snake.
"Are you a dragon or a snake? Show me some respect or I'll continue to beat you up till you become fried fish!"
What does fried fish have to do with being a dragon?
The original saying was a carp jumping over a gate to become a dragon. Sister Hu was a tiger who liked eating carp.
As for the dragon headed man in front of her called Brother Long, he was originally a carp who had jumped over the legendary Dragon Gate and became a full fledged divine dragon.
The side effect of doing so however, was that Brother Long would always sleep a lot.
So much so that the sky could be falling yet Brother Long would continue to sleep soundly amidst the chaos.
"Why do you always slap me so hard? Can't you be gentler? You're a woman for heaven's sake." Brother Long rubbed his swollen cheek and grumbled.
"And who said women can't be violent? Talk nonsense again and I'll beat your ass till they name a new constellation after your beating!"
Amidst the chaos, the rabbit young man looked at the scene in front of him and sighed. He then slumped back into his chair like he had given up.
"Brother Gou, Sister Yang, I feel like I want to die right now."
"What are you talking about, Brother Tu? You are a rabbit, not a hamster. You can't just explode on the spot and die." A woman with slit eyes and long white hair commented.
"What does wanting to die have to do with hamsters?" Brother Tu made an annoyed expression and lamented loudly.
The slit eyed woman heard this and laughed.
She then turned to her left and spoke to the little sister with rat ears in a playful tone.
"Little Sister Shu, Little Brother Tu wants to die. Can you help him out here?"
Speechless by the slit eyed woman's question, Brother Tu stood up and went over to the other side of Sister Shu.
"Sister Shu, don't listen to this slit eyed bitch's words. I just want to metaphorically die. I didn't mean it in a literal way."
Brother Tu then turned his attention to the slit eyed woman and rebuked her. "Don't plant weird ideas into Sister Shu's head, you snake. Sister Shu is the youngest of us all, so you should treat her with care."
"But I'm not that young–" Sister Shu wanted to speak up but Brother Tu quickly covered her mouth with his hand.
"Shhhh, sister. You don't know what you're talking about. Let the adults handle this matter." Brother Tu made a shush sign and smiled.
***
At the end of the table sat an old man with a gruff beard. He had small ox horns protruding out of his grey hair and was dressed in a tuxedo.
This old man was called Old Man Niu.
Old Man Niu was currently reading a newspaper about the events happening in the Heavenly Realm.
With each flip of the pages, random objects ranging from carrots to pieces of jade flew above him.
And despite being the tallest and biggest person in the room, none of these objects managed to hit him.
A stick of incense' time soon passed.
Putting the newspaper down, Old Man Niu looked up and saw that the pantheon had been bulldozed to the ground.
Only his seat and section of the jade table remained intact.
"And there goes the budget for my coffee…" The old ox sighed.