Su Mu strutted through the bustling village square like a protagonist walking into his first tournament arc. His smirk, equal parts arrogance and self-importance, practically screamed "Fear me, for I am the main character!" A textbook example of overconfidence, straight out of every third-rate xianxia webnovel.
Meanwhile, the two Han men beside him were even more predictable. Their performances were so hammy that Yang Kai half-expected them to pull out a script titled "How to Fake Poisoning 101". One man clutched his stomach, swaying back and forth as if he were on the verge of collapse, while the other alternated between exaggerated wailing and furious glares toward Boss He's rice stand.
Yang Kai inwardly sighed.
Seriously? These guys are straight out of a filler episode. Pale face? Check. Overly dramatic gestures? Check. Zero effort in maintaining internal consistency? Double check. At least commit to the method acting!
One of the Han men, growing impatient with Su Mu's theatrics, turned toward the High Heaven disciple and huffed, "You little brat, walking around in circles has made this uncle dizzy. Do you want to be the same?"
Su Mu only smirked, shaking his head. He stepped forward, deliberately placing himself in front of the 'poisoned' man and squinted at his face, as though scrutinizing a rare alchemy ingredient. Then, with a self-satisfied nod, he declared, "Your face is very pale. Looks like your poisoning isn't simple."
The 'victim' groaned weakly before responding with righteous indignation, "Of course, it's not! If it were a mere stomach ache, why would my brother and I be here instead of seeking a physician? No, we came because we want justice! We came to reveal this Boss He's black heart and his true nature! We only hope that no one else will suffer as we have."
The gathered villagers murmured in concern, some already throwing wary glances toward Boss He.
Yang Kai, however, merely snorted.
He stepped forward, the air of a seasoned detective settling over him, and in the tone of a true-crime podcaster unraveling an obvious scam, he announced,
"Alright, everyone, let's break this down like a proper investigation! First, if these men were truly poisoned, their meridians would be clogged, their qi flow unstable—y'know, basic cultivation logic. But look at this guy's complexion!" Yang Kai gestured toward the 'poisoned' man, whose supposedly sickly face was actually quite flushed. "But look at this guy's complexion! He's blushing like he just binge-read Fifty Shades of Golden Core."
Some villagers blinked in confusion, but a few of the more experienced cultivators began nodding in realization.
Yang Kai grinned, pressing his advantage. "Translation: He's faking it. This whole scam is about as subtle as a Dragon Ball Z fight in a romance novel."
Su Mu's smirk wavered ever so slightly.
"Oh, and Su Mu?" Yang Kai turned to the so-called righteous disciple with a knowing look. "Nice try, but your dramatic reveal was straight out of The Handbook of Cliché Villain Exposés. Chapter 3, page 12: 'Pretend to Care About Justice While Secretly Being the Puppetmaster.'"
Su Mu's expression flickered, a brief moment of alarm flashing across his face before he quickly Pavilion ed his features into his usual self-assured mask. But the two Han men? They weren't nearly as composed.
They exchanged frantic glances, their act visibly falling apart.
"How dare you—!" Su Mu sputtered, finally breaking character.
Yang Kai held up a hand to silence him, smirking. "Save it, dude. I've read enough webnovels to predict your next line: 'You've ruined my plans! I'll remember this, Yang Kai!' Cue the dramatic exit where you swear vengeance. Am I right?"
The villagers erupted into laughter. Even Boss He, who didn't fully grasp the references, chuckled nervously, relieved to see the tide turning in his favor.
"As for you two—" Yang Kai turned toward the Han men, who were now visibly sweating. "Congratulations! You've just won the 'Worst Actors in a Fake Poisoning Subplot' award. Your prize? A free trip to the village jail. Don't worry, the food's better than your acting."
One of the men opened his mouth to protest, but before he could speak, Yang Kai smoothly stepped in front of Su Mu, cutting off his attempt to sneak away.
"Ah-ah-ah, shixiong. You're the final boss of this side quest, no running allowed." Yang Kai grinned cheerfully before reaching into Su Mu's robes, fishing around until he pulled out a small pouch. Holding it up for the entire village to see, he shook it mockingly. "And what do we have here? The MacGuffin of Villainy! Classic 'frame the innocent merchant' trope. Villainy 101, folks."
The villagers collectively gasped, while Su Mu's face darkened.
"You… you're no ordinary disciple. Who are you?!" Su Mu hissed, his voice barely above a whisper.
Yang Kai, basking in his moment of glory, struck an exaggerated pose. "Just a humble transmigrator with far too much time on RoyalRoad. Now—villains, meet karma. Karma, meet crowd-sourced justice."
He turned to the villagers, raising his fist dramatically. "Who's ready for a good old-fashioned beatdown montage? Remember: no face shots! We're civilized readers here!"
The moment he finished speaking, the energy in the crowd shifted.
The people, who had initially been hesitant, now fully understood the situation. They weren't fools; now that the trick had been exposed, their sympathy for the Han men vanished. In its place? Indignation.
What kind of shameless people would slander an honest merchant just to gain a reputation?
Outrage spread like wildfire.
"You dare frame Boss He?" someone shouted.
"What scum!"
"They deserve a lesson!"
Su Mu's eyes darted around, realizing that the mood had turned against him. He stepped back cautiously before suddenly shouting, "Friends, fellow shopkeepers, Listen ..let me explain."
But instead of support, what Su Mu got was Boss He stepping forward with a grim expression. The rice stand's workers followed, their hands gripping empty rice sacks, the same ones they used to carry supplies.
Boss He had been humiliated by these men earlier, and now? He wasn't about to let them off easily.
Seeing their boss make a move, the rest of the crowd couldn't just stand by. More and more people surged forward.
Previously, the two Han men weren't too worried. But as they watched the sea of furious villagers descend upon them, their faces paled.
"Don't hit the face!" one of them yelped as he curled into a ball.
Su Mu, seeing no other choice, tried to make a break for it. But Yang Kai, ever the protagonist of justice, simply extended his foot.
Thud!
Su Mu landed flat on his face.
"Oops," Yang Kai said with an innocent shrug. "Guess I should've called that a plot twist."
As the two Han men were restrained, the villagers cheered, patting Yang Kai on the back and singing his praises.
And Yang Kai? He merely sighed to himself.
They were all acting. A grand performance of 'The Righteous Hero Uncovering Evil' just to gain favor. If I hadn't caught them together earlier, even I might've been fooled.
But in the end, it didn't matter. The truth had been exposed, and Boss He's reputation had been restored.
"You've ruined my plans! I'll remember this, Yang Kai!" said Su Mu.
"As I said."