Luo Shu could only describe the newly recorded Bermuda Vortex as an unexpected windfall.
Somehow, it had simultaneously qualified for three separate milestones:
Anomaly Discoverer
Anomaly Namer
Anomaly Bane
The Bane entry made sense—he had suppressed it using Evolutionary Distortion. But the other two? This was clearly a pre-contained Foundation asset.
Only one explanation fit: when "The God" reset the world in 1962, the Foundation itself forgot these anomalies existed.
That era predated computers, let alone networks. Paper records were mailed physically between sites—no centralized database like Site-01's servers today.
When Site-167 was abandoned, its data vanished—unless a Keter-class required archival at HQ.
Thus, post-reset, these anomalies became unknown entities—now Luo Shu's for the claiming.
Realizing this, his attitude shifted. No more half-measures. Every anomaly here would be his.
The Next Target: "Paraíso Cigar"
The documents called it "Paraíso"—Spanish for "Paradise." Given Cuba's colonial history, the name suggested something exquisite.
But the description was illegible, pages rotted to fragments. Only disjointed words remained:
"Ignite"
"Inhale"
"Caution: █████"
Inside the containment unit lay a mahogany cigar box. His Anomaly Discoverer milestone tingled—definitely anomalous.
Yet without context, the Anomaly Encyclopedia refused to log it.
Normally, I'd walk away. But these were lost Foundation relics—each one a milestone boost.
His Discoverer count stood at 8/10. Two more, and it levels up.
Decision made.
The Experiment
Luo Shu pried open the box. Inside lay six cigars, their wrappers oily-dark, smelling of aged tobacco and something metallic.
No reaction upon contact. Safe-class, after all.
But the fragments hinted: To understand it, you must smoke it.
A gamble.
As a former D-Class, testing anomalies was technically his job.
"Besides," he rationalized, "10% anomaly resistance from Bane milestone… and no emergency protocols here. How bad could it be?"
He:
Sliced the cigar's cap with the box's guillotine cutter.
Lit it with a phosphorus match.
Inhaled.
First impression: Smooth. Havana's finest, even after decades.
Second impression: Nothing. No dizziness, no visions—just warm smoke curling upward.
Did it expire?
Then—
The smoke warped space where it pooled near the ceiling.
A ripple, achingly familiar: The God's spatial distortion.
Why here? Why now?
No time to ponder. Luo Shu snapped the Encyclopedia open, bracing for combat.
The God's Downfall
A figure materialized—The God, peering around like a thief in the dark.
Pikachu's headlights blinded him. He raised an arm, snarling—
Luo Shu moved.
A teleport behind The God. A hand clamped on his neck.
Contact. Actual, physical contact.
Impossible. The God's spatial barrier repelled bullets, teleportation, even anti-memetic infiltration.
Unless…
Spatial jumps disable the barrier. Normally, the window was too brief to exploit.
But the cigar's smoke? It had lured him here—and left him vulnerable.
No hesitation. The Encyclopedia flipped to Page 48: Restraint Cuffs' "Closed Loop."
A pulse of energy. The God's powers flatlined.
"You?!" The God's pupils dilated. "How— My abilities!—"
No monologues. No villainous gloating.
Luo Shu activated SCP-173's ability.
A twist.
Crack.
The God's neck snapped like dry kindling.
Still not enough.
Pikachu's tires pummeled the corpse into pulp.
Blood slicked the floor. The air reeked of copper and burnt tobacco.
And Luo Shu?
He exhaled, grinning.
Finally.
Aftermath
The Encyclopedia updated:
[New Entry: Paraíso Cigar]
Designation: Unnumbered
Object Class: Safe (Pending reassessment)
Effects:
Smoke attracts spatial anomalies/entities.
Acts as a beacon for interdimensional travelers.
Note: Likely how The God tracked Site-167. Origin: Possibly grown from SCP-████-infected tobacco.
[Milestone Progress]
Anomaly Discoverer: 9/10
Anomaly Namer: +1 (Bermuda Vortex)
One more anomaly. One more, and Discoverer hits Tier 2.
Luo Shu pocketed the remaining cigars.
Who knew what else Site-167 hid?